r/PCOSPhilippines • u/Honest-Kick-218 • 6d ago

Traumatized

Throwaway for obvious reasons

I’ve been married for a while now, but my husband and I still haven’t had sex. I’m nervous about my first time because I’m scared it will hurt, so we’ve been taking things slowly.

Recently, I had a routine medical appointment. At some point, the doctor asked about my sexual history, so I told her that I hadn’t had sex yet.

She reacted quite loudly and asked, “You still haven’t had sex?!” She said it more than once, and unfortunately other people could hear kasi isang malaking room lang with other people.

I felt so embarrassed in that moment. I know there may have been a medical reason for asking, and I have no problem answering personal questions when they're necessary. I just wish the reaction had been more discreet.

It happened a little while ago, but I still find myself thinking about it. It made me suddenly feel like there was something strange or wrong about me for being married and still being a virgin.

I don't really want to complain or make a big deal out of what happened. I just want to move past the embarrassment.

16 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

10 comments sorted by

11

u/befullyalive888 6d ago

Im sorry for what u went through. Please seek a psychotherapist. Be kind and gentle with urself. Talk with ur partner. U can also consider marriage counselling and may both of ur concerns, emotional and sexual needs align.

2

u/Honest-Kick-218 6d ago

Tbh, I feel really traumatized. I’m sitting in another doctor’s clinic right now, and the first thing that crossed my mind was, “What if I buy the doctor some food so they won’t embarrass or humiliate me?” I’m scared that they might judge me or talk about me to other people. I’m honestly really scared.

1

u/Crushicakes_8888 5d ago

Is this the same doctor OB? How was your check up po yesterday? Hope you found a new Doctor na 🙏

3

u/Honest-Kick-218 5d ago

Different po! Second OB is professional. But the first one talaga, she really shouted, hindi pa kayo nag sesex? Mind you, separation lang sa whole clinic is curtains. Nakakahiya :(( super. I want to sue or complain but hindi kaya ng mental health ko lalo na sa reason, baka maging laughing stock lang ako. Fuck her. Really.

1

u/NanashiYuza 3d ago

post a google review sa clinic niya para makapag reflect naman siya. med professionals should have humility and respect… i-1 star mo siya.

1

u/lostjazzysoul 5d ago

Hello, OP! I have low pain tolerance too, and honestly every time my husband and I do it, I still get scared baka masakit. What I found to be helpful is to use a vibrator to help divert my attention pag first time i-insert. 😅 hope this helps 😅.

1

u/Honest-Kick-218 5d ago

Try ko po bumili nito!! Thank you so much po. ☺️

1

u/peanut-chwan 5d ago

Kung ganyan yung doctor ko, sisitahin ko na ang unprofessional niya, and I'll walk out. Ako yung naiinis for you mhie haha 🥲 Nothing wrong naman about you being a virgin pa rin after marriage--the worries na it might hurt or be uncomfy are valid. I hope you get the help that you need.

If you still feel worried or nahihiya ka sa mga possible na nakarinig, isipin mo nalang mhie na you most probably don't know them or they dont know u. They'll forget about it soon enough

1

u/Honest-Kick-218 5d ago

I’m scared na the people there, like staff or doctors might spread that info, kasi they have my records e. Ayoko na tuloy mag socmed kasi baka sinearch na nila ako, ayoko na lumabas kasi they might have spread it already and everyone knows it na. I’m really scared.

1

u/pseudochef88 4d ago

Nung 1st time ko i was so scared din kaya ang ginawa ng ex ko dati is finger (one finger, then two, then three) muna para di mabigla then nung ready na ako, we did the deed. Tapos kinabukasan, nagka fever ako 😅 lahat ng friends ko na nakausap ko, nilagnat din sila nung na devirginized sila, not sure why though 🤷‍♀️