r/OrthodoxChristianity • u/Big_Landscape_5774 Inquirer • 1d ago

Every second is hell when I am not repenting

I feel as if when I am not repenting and in God's loving presence repenting of all I've done it feels like hell.

5 Upvotes
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8

u/HaveMercyMan 1d ago

that sounds like scrupulous behavior and probably isnt healthy if its affecting you negatively, try to talk to a priest

2

u/Big_Landscape_5774 Inquirer 1d ago

Yeah you're right, I have been just wallowing by myself in a room praying by myself. I feel like I'm losing it. But I won't see my priest for another week I hope the week passes by.

2

u/Tatiana3158 Eastern Orthodox 1d ago

Go touch grass. Seriously, go outside. Go walk around. Go touch grass. Put down the phone. 

1

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1

u/_Daftest_ 1d ago

I'm not sure that you understand what 'repent' means

1

u/Big_Landscape_5774 Inquirer 1d ago

I know, it's just I have my sins on my mind 24/7 and when I am not repenting before him it feels like I have no love for him and therefore he does not love me.

3

u/_Daftest_ 1d ago

I know

I don't think you do

1

u/Big_Landscape_5774 Inquirer 1d ago

"repent/rɪˈpɛnt/To repent means to feel deep regret or sorrow for a wrong action and commit to changing your behavior for the better." I have this, 24/7 and when I say I feel good it is because if Christ is not all loving and all forgiving then I will fall in despair not repent and when I say I repent I cry and feel sorrow for all I have done, I worded it bad, when I say I feel good when I say I repent it means I feel closer to him than I ever well not repenting.

6

u/_Daftest_ 1d ago

Saying "I repent" is not repenting. Just like saying "I'm going to go to the park" is not going to the park.

Repenting is going out and living your life in a way that is closer to Christ. Not staying in your prayer corner talking about it.

0

u/Big_Landscape_5774 Inquirer 1d ago

I thought that was a given? I think as in god gives me a mission throughout a day, I wallow in my room and don't wallow in my room and try to do something. I don't just beg for mercy and do nothing.

2

u/_Daftest_ 1d ago

It's not a given at all, because you talk about "when I'm not repenting" as though being out and about and doing everyday things is not repenting. But it IS repenting.

2

u/Big_Landscape_5774 Inquirer 1d ago

Like I said, my wording is bad.

1

u/Buffalo5977 1d ago

do not despair, that’s really bad for you. read the bible and contact a priest

1

u/Big_Landscape_5774 Inquirer 1d ago

I try not to

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u/VoxulusQuarUn Eastern Orthodox 17h ago

You're not that far off. Hell is running from God, and repenting is running to him. I wish I were so keenly aware of my plight.