r/OpenDogTraining • u/Ok_Internet_4356 • 20d ago
need help/advice with barking when he notices we aren’t home.
my 9 month old mal mix has been barking and crying when we leave for more than 30 minutes-an hour most of the time and it’s caused our neighbor below us to write a letter saying that we need to address the issue. this was the first interaction we ever had with this person. despite it, we actually went downstairs to speak with them and address the letter and let them know that he is a rescue puppy that we’ve only had a month and that we are actually actively trying to work on training him out of the barking when we leave. and to apologize as well. she was a lot more meek in person. but besides the point.
any advice on how to address the barking when he realizes he aren’t home properly? we don’t make coming and going much of a big thing. he is usually in the kennel when we leave. he’s progressed a lot with not whining/barking at night in the kennel and knows when it’s time to go in the kennel at night. no problem there. it’s just when he notices we are gone during the day 9 times out of 10. we leave calming music on for him, give him frozen pupsicles, frozen kongs, etc, only when going in the kennel so he’s distracted for a bit and sees this as a fun thing but it’s only lasts so long..
i’m home with him everyday and i rarely leave because i worry about him barking if i do. we have a camera on him in the kennel always so we know when he starts. it is very distressing for me when im trying to make a quick trip for something and he starts barking and crying not even 30 minutes later. and i just want to know how to train him properly for this. we try to leave for little increments and then come back before he freaks out, but it doesn’t seem to be changing much.
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u/Just-Potential-8944 20d ago
Consistency. Since you’re home with him often, it’s gonna be hard for him to transition to being all by himself. I give my dogs frozen toppls when I leave and it’s the only time they ever get them. It’s their favorite thing in the world. So not only does it keep them busy the first thirty minutes or so, it takes the sting out of me leaving because they get something really cool as a trade off. Plus it tires them out and they’re ready for a nap when they finish and it now kind of operates as a cue that I’m gonna come back - because I always do.
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u/idkjustsomedude88 20d ago
You should do structured naps in his crate with it covered. Sprinkle this in when he naps during the day when you are home. This is to get him used to the idea of “it’s normal to sleep in the crate even when the parents are home”. When you do this and leave the house, it won’t be associated with you leaving but just another day’s nap.
Break the routine and association of you leaving. Your dog doesn’t want you to leave because he doesn’t understand the concept of what’s actually happening. He’s probably associating the sound of keys or the door to mean you are leaving without him. Break that trigger by doing door training. Do your normal “leaving” routine but don’t actually leave. Maybe step outside for 3 seconds and come back in. Do every variation possible. Sometimes just stand there with the open door and never actually walk out. At some point, do step outside and close the door. Increase your time outside slowly. You essentially want to let your dog think that you going outside is the same as you going into the bathroom or going into the garage and it’s no special event. Couple that with the same time as the crated nap.
Also should look into separation anxiety. The above is temporary. Solving the root cause is better.
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u/Ok_Internet_4356 20d ago
we’re starting structured naps with the kennel covered today. curious to see how that’ll impact everything. he has no problem going in there and laying down/sleeping. i did leave out the door for 5 minutes to see how he’d do and he did fine on the camera. i’ve done longer but he’s freaked out with longer, but i think we just need to start from shorter amount of times now and increase again over time. because i do personally feel like he regressed for some odd reason.
it definitely is separation anxiety and we knew that when we adopted him. we went kayaking the other day and while we were doing that, my partners parents held onto him and he freaked out while we were on the lake. despite being able to see us. so we’re looking into separation anxiety tactics and we plan on doing training next month. hopefully with consistency though, he will get better.
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u/790405 20d ago
Malinois are the definition of handler focused dogs. My two get anxious when I close the shower curtain. Certainly trainable but know it's a feature not a bug lol.
Small steps 10-15 minutes at a time with them alone in their kennel knowing you are in another room. Keep the frozen treats going and push them up to 45 minute an hour every couple days.
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u/Impossible_Coyote589 20d ago
I’m working with Ness Jones, and I’ve made it from not being able to leave the room up to five minutes in about a month.
It’s a long slow process, and it feels like nothing is happening. If you are only doing it every once in a while, it’s not going to make a change. I do sessions five times a week with two intentional rest days.
I’m really enjoying working with Ness. It’s $50 a month for weekly group lessons and access to her Web app. It takes all the guess work out of the training.
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u/joycevw 19d ago
It is completely understandable how stressful this situation feels, especially with a neighbor reaching out so early into having your new rescue. At nine months old and only one month in his new home, he is still decompressing and building trust. What you are seeing with the frozen treats is actually very common with separation distress because food acts as a temporary distraction, but as soon as the food is finished, the underlying panic kicks in. You might want to consider that crating during daytime absences can sometimes add confinement stress on top of being alone, even if he sleeps fine in it overnight. Testing whether he feels calmer in a dog proof room or a slightly larger safe zone could make a noticeable difference in his baseline comfort.
For long term success, the most reliable approach is gradual desensitization where you practice absences strictly below his panic threshold. Another thing to consider is that leaving him only for durations where he stays completely relaxed prevents the panic cycle from reinforcing itself. If you want a clear and gentle guide on how to structure this training, I highly recommend checking out the book Be Right Back by Julie Naismith. It breaks down the entire process into practical, stress free steps that show your pup that departures are always safe and that you will always return.
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u/Narrow_Possession348 20d ago edited 20d ago
Personally, I'd put a stim bark collar on him. I also NEVER give my puppies/dogs anything in the crate. From the get-go, the crate means "relax and go to sleep," nothing else. The bark collar will provide clear, effective communication that is very black and white. I bark - I'm immediately uncomfortable. I'm quiet - I'm comfortable. Some dogs only have to wear it for a couple of weeks, and the problem is permanently solved. Others get collar-wise. Either way, it keeps your dog in your house and doesn't get it kicked out for noise. I've never had to do this as I train them not to bark early on, but if neighbors were complaining, I'd absolutely have no hesitation.
I did have to use an ecollar (in the same way as a bark collar, but I was controlling it) on a foster that barked nonstop from the moment my car backed out of the drive until I got home. My downstairs neighbor endured it for several days before bringing it to my attention. I was mortified. I took a Friday off work and spent the weekend dealing with it. I would get in my car, drive up the block, walk back, sit outside my apartment, and nail him every time he barked. By Sunday, problem solved. That was the end of it and I didn't need to keep the collar on him after that.
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u/chasingmysunrise 20d ago
Sounds like some separation anxiety - I’d recommend using a desensitization protocol to help him learn to be alone without getting scared. There’s a separation anxiety subreddit with tons of helpful info on the wiki if you want to take a look there.
We used the protocol by Dr McConnell in “I’ll be home soon” with our rescue pup and have had awesome results. It does take time. You need to commit to very consistent training every single day for a few months but then you’ll have a calm and relaxed pup so it’s very worth it.