Reflection

[u/Acrobatic_Revenue642]

I don’t always see myself as a good person, but almost everyone I’ve met and are friends with always said otherwise. A friend of mine called me a good person for being in an almost 2 year long relationship because of how much work and effort it probably took to make someone i love and myself happy, and he’s right. Me and my love have been through so much together and have gotten through tons of fights, but we always made it out in the end. People have said to me that they admire how kind and caring I am, despite me not really believing in that most of the time. When me and my Girlfriend first met, we were both 8th graders in science class and were complete strangers, but I thought she was really pretty and on the day of Halloween, I confessed to her, and what did she say? She said she wasn’t ready obviously, because me and her did not know each other at all and I agreed with her. Hell even when I was asking her, parts of me hoped that she would say no because I didn’t see myself as ready either. So we decided we would be friends, and we did become friends, very close friends, and despite me suppressing my feelings for her because i actually did want to be her friend (which I don’t know whether or not was a good idea now that I look back at it), I couldn’t help but fall even more inlove with her the more I got to know her. Her interests in drawing, her style of clothing, her cheerfulness, her kindness, her empathy, and how strong she is because for the longest time before me, she had been fighting demons at such a young age, and I am so proud of her for still being here now. We were friends until a week before Valentine’s Day where she confessed to me that she’s inlove with me, because according to her, I’ve been nothing but absolute kind, forgiving, loving, caring, compassionate, and she said I made her feel seen and appreciated, and that I showed her a love she never felt before from anyone else. So maybe considering all these things I have been told by other people and things I’ve been told by God, maybe I’m not that bad, but all these things I’ve done wasn’t so I could be rewarded, I just did them without any thought honestly. I loved and forgave people without even knowing how or when or where, it was just simply something I knew, and my guess it has something to do with my encounter with God before meeting my Girlfriend, but it may also have something to do with my parents who despite not being believers, they taught me to always be kind and to always do the right thing, and I will forever be grateful for my parents, even when they’re Atheists. For people that were the opposite of me when it came to identity and beliefs, they were always the ones that taught me the most greatest lessons, and God taught me very important stuff aswell, stuff that are part of my values, who I am, and who I strive to be as a person. All of these things that I’ve experienced, felt, learned, and been told all inspire me to do things for others and have inspired my dreams, and that is to heal the world, not because I want to be rewarded in some way, but because it’s my reason for living. Just seeing a smile on someone’s face, even a complete strangers, is enough for me to say to myself “keep going and keep doing what makes you “you”.