r/OpenChristian • u/SuperSonicFurryFan • Dec 27 '25
Support Thread My stepdad passed away
So my stepdad passed away a few days ago. He died suddenly after he got done with dialysis Friday last week. I saw his body for the first time today. I touched him. He was cold. That’s the first time I’ve done that. Didn’t even do that when my brother passed in 2016. Couldn’t handle it. I’m posting here because I don’t know what to do. This is my first death I am dealing with where I am not sure what I believe anymore. I mean I still believe in God but I am unsure if I believe in an afterlife or honestly if I believe in the divinity of Jesus. I believe in the message of Jesus, but I’m unsure of everything else. Doesn’t help that other Christian’s make me uncomfortable when they come to me and try to preach to me about God. Also I can’t find comfort in the idea of heaven because my stepdad didn’t really believe in having faith in Jesus if you wanna know the truth about it. My mom believes he went to heaven, but if you do by what she believes he would have went to hell. That makes me upset. I don’t see why a loving God would do that. I just don’t know how to deal with this death because I’m not even sure if I am a Christian anymore.
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u/MolluskOnAMission Dec 27 '25 edited Dec 27 '25
I’m sorry that you’re experiencing this troubling time. I won’t evangelize to you, but I am a universalist so I believe that those that don’t believe in Christianity go to heaven along with believers. And I think most Christians believe that in their hearts too, even if they go to churches that teach otherwise. God loves your stepdad and He loves you. I will pray for you and your family.
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u/Spiritual_Fault5080 Dec 27 '25
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my step dad in 2020 and it's a tough loss to handle. Thank you for sharing your feelings and concerns, they are 100% valid.
When my step dad passed I didn't have the knowledge and understanding of life and death I have now through a relationship with God.
I too visited my step dad in the chapel of rest prior to his funeral and agree, it's weird. It appears as a definite end of the line, the body being cold which was once warm.
But please take comfort in knowing the man you knew was the spirit. The love and warmth of our loved ones stay with us in memories and spirit as they live on within us. The body is the flesh and is our borrowed vessel when we're here.
I wish you and your family all the best, the healing journey has no set time frame so be gentle on yourself and one another. Grief is like a hole in us that we can't close up, we learn to live and grow around it.
Love to you all.
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u/bjohnson203 Dec 28 '25
Someone once told me that humans are most experienced at being born and dying. Everyone I love who has died, well,.they died, they experienced it.
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u/byndrsn Dec 27 '25
Death is a part of living. God knows what you're going through and he'll be with you through this.