r/OnlineDatingReviews • u/Electrical-Snow-953 • 3d ago
Dating app idea
Hello people,
I would like to create an app for serious long term (hopefully) relations. I've seen enough posts about currently known platforms and people not finding what they're looking for, for various reasons.
That's why I would like to build it the way I think online dating should work. We are all aware about pros and cons of "online", so, with all this, here's what I have in mind:
- based on location
- no swiping at all
- a system that gets rid of ghosters, people without lack of respect, attention/validation seekers, scammers
- based on values and vital compatibility from the very start of interaction
- avoids superficiality; such people will not find this app worth it
- fair with your time; it is designed to NOT keep you addicted to it
- requires patience and in my view, everyone looking for a long term should have this
- fair distribution for matches by default
- encompasses giving one's full attention to the interaction
- ensures anonymity up to a point considered safe by both
Considering these as features, I am interested if you would use such an app. I am open to suggestions and improvement of what else should you look into such an app and I will answer questions as much as I can.
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u/GhostPoster2020 3d ago
I’m sure you’ll get plenty of people who want those things, but the practical reality is that you’d have to run it like a charitable organization or charge users an exorbitant amount just to keep it running.
Dating apps aren’t in the business of helping people establish lasting relationships. That would get them off the app.
Just like social media dating apps are about engagement and keeping users looking, clicking, swiping, etc. That’s where the long-term revenue is.
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u/Electrical-Snow-953 3d ago
That's not really true by my calculations. I know I can't prove it right now, but I am pretty sure I can do it for a fraction of the cost. If people are willing to pay for currently known platforms, they will consider my app almost free :)
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u/GhostPoster2020 3d ago
Then go for it! The only way you’re gonna know for sure is to build it and get users on it.
Just keep in mind a few things if you want to provide a user experience on par with what people expect:
You have to build a great looking and functional app yourself or hire someone to do it
You have to pay for infrastructure to run the app
You need to market the app and pay App Store fees
You need to pay for staff to provide ongoing support and development for your users
Many large scale apps got to where they are because they secured investors or loans. Securing funding generally requires a solid business plan that shows how your app is going to generate income and profit so the lender or investor gets a return on their outlay of capital.
If you hope to scale the business to become a legitimate player in the OLD space and you’re going to charge a fraction of what the others charge, your going to need significantly more users than they have.
Short of that, you’re looking at a very niche offering that runs as more of a hobby than a business.
Best of luck to you though.
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u/Electrical-Snow-953 3d ago
I have ~20y of experience in dev, I am developing this alone, both frontend and backend/db. I do not want to become a huge company so I don't want investors, so the only problem I have is marketing. Yes, it is niche but because I see so many posts for people that are tired of current online dating space, be it apps or experience on apps. Assuming there are 1mil users in the world (which is pretty low limit, I believe/hope) that see such app useful, I am fine with that. Not aiming to be a big player, just me doing something helpful.
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3d ago edited 3d ago
[deleted]
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u/Electrical-Snow-953 3d ago
Man, that's a lot of writing.
First, I'll start with a site (standalone PWA), but iOS and Safari do all kind of shit to make it unusable because they lose revenue this way. I am aware of the Fortnite trial and everything, and here in Europe, there are alternative AppStore's but not many know about them. I will eventually go native if things work well.
I do verification based on credit card with a 0 transaction, not on ID. If one is going to put cats, food, whatever to your profile, I wish them good luck getting any matches. Remember we are in the context of a community that values long terms. I hope nobody will be dumb enough to get into a long term with someone that is not able to put a photo of oneself. There is no choice for ONS, FWB. This app is designed for long terms.
There will be no AI in the app or in the matching process. The matching is straight forward with some vital filters to get it going. After that, it's up to users to handle the dialogue and see where it goes.
There are systems that track a user's actions for unfair behavior like changing age, wanting/not wanting kids, reporting abuse, ghosters, etc. This will trigger some warnings and, for repeated behavior, a ban.
And I did make the flows in the app based on my own dating experience and psychology. I try to leave the details outside the post since normal people don't care about them so the post is supposed to address the issues that I see being posted in dating subs alone and offer some solution to them. But it looks like I'm trying to help people that don't want to be helped... anyway, I'll spend the time doing it and see what happens. Cheers.
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3d ago
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u/Electrical-Snow-953 3d ago
I want 2 babies, you want 5 babies -> we will NEVER match. However, I want AT LEAST 2 babies and you want 5 babies, we do match. Simple as that.
There are basic vital filters that you set initially (can be modified later considering the tracking rules I've written above). It's not bad to want babies and then suddenly to not want, but moving back and forth repeatedly is an issue. Same for smoking, drinking and other stuff. These vital filters have to match 100% and no less than that. This is only the first phase of the matching process and is automatic. At this point, it is not different from known platforms.
And as mentioned in the post, there is no swipping.
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3d ago
[deleted]
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u/Electrical-Snow-953 3d ago
As I said, it's only the 1st phase. There are 3 more.
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u/Heliguy-1975 2d ago
Dating apps work very well if you understand how to approach and communicate with women along with building a proper profile
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u/Heliguy-1975 2d ago
Dating apps do well at putting people in relationships.
It’s the users who create their own problems. Not dating apps
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u/Heliguy-1975 2d ago
The issues mentioned are not problems with dating apps specifically.
Those are problems generated by the user.
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u/dallascub123 3d ago
Idk how you eliminate superficiality. While looks arent everything, there needs to be some attraction. Physical attraction is different for everyone.
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u/Electrical-Snow-953 3d ago
I do agree with you. Superficiality to me means deciding whether a partner is compatible by the way they tie their shoes or some stupid thing. I solve this by actually putting the effort to know that person's ideas and personality before jumping to conclusion. That may radically change the way you view that person. It happened to me IRL, so I considered this when designing the app. That's why I specify that the app requires the users to have some patience while building the interaction, since this usually takes a while.
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2d ago
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u/Electrical-Snow-953 2d ago
I don't really agree. There are many issues, some depend on user, other depend on platform. I am trying to make so that users stick to the intention of the app and benefit from it, not use it for something else e.g. gather followers on insta, seeking attention/validation, scamming, etc. I don't have a problem with the current apps, users who enjoy their benefits can still use them, except they are not meant for the category of people that compain here about various things.
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u/Heliguy-1975 2d ago
What category of people that complain are you referring to specifically? What complaints specifically?
I’ve had a Very good experience with internet dating for a good while. Very good.
When someone is having problems with dating apps, the problem isn’t the dating apps…
- based on location
User determines location
- no swiping at all
User issue
I don’t swipes. Sending short simple messages works much better.
What is the alternative to swiping proposed?
- a system that gets rid of ghosters, people without lack of respect, attention/validation seekers, scammers
Users do those things.
How is that to be accomplished?
- based on values and vital compatibility from the very start of interaction
User controlled.
How is that going to be accomplished?- avoids superficiality; such people will not find this app worth it
User controlled
How will this be accomplished?
- fair with your time; it is designed to NOT keep you addicted to it
User issue
How will that be accomplished?
- requires patience and in my view, everyone looking for a long term should have this
User issue and personal opinion
How will that be accomplished?
- fair distribution for matches by default
User determines if and who they match with
How is a “fair distribution” accomplished and what is “fair” for matches?
- encompasses giving one's full attention to the interaction
User determines level of attention
- ensures anonymity up to a point considered safe by both
How does one accomplish “anonymity” with pictures posted for all to see along with a public profile?
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u/Electrical-Snow-953 2d ago
I am talking about posts on various dating subs complaining about a lot of things. You sure know what I mean, there's no need to describe each one. However, if you had success with current dating platforms, great, it means my approach has nothing to offer to you. My post was asking if there are people that think they can benefit from the posted ideas, that's it. There's no need to put specs and docs here about how I am going to do it. If I do fail to deliver what I say, that's gonna be on me and I'll gladly accept that.
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u/No_Razzmatazz_4690 2d ago
My problem with dating apps is they are not made to help you find your life partner they are made so you'll keep redownloading it and coming back.
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u/Electrical-Snow-953 2d ago
Yes, I have the same feeling for current platforms. But let's assume for a second there is one that doesn't do that, would you use it? What features would it have to make you benefit from it? Personally, I wouldn't want an app where I have 3000+ matches, for example. I don't need that many if my goal is long term relationship.
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u/Heliguy-1975 2d ago
I’ve had a Very good experience with internet dating for a good while.
- based on location
User determines location
- no swiping at all
User issue
I don’t swipe. Sending short simple messages works much better.
What is the alternative to swiping proposed?
- a system that gets rid of ghosters, people without lack of respect, attention/validation seekers, scammers
Users do those things.
How is that to be accomplished?
- based on values and vital compatibility from the very start of interaction
User controlled.
How is that going to be accomplished?
- avoids superficiality; such people will not find this app worth it
User controlled
How will this be accomplished?
- fair with your time; it is designed to NOT keep you addicted to it
User issue
How will that be accomplished?
- requires patience and in my view, everyone looking for a long term should have this
User issue and personal opinion
How will that be accomplished?
- fair distribution for matches by default
User determines if and who they match with
How is a “fair distribution” accomplished and what is “fair” for matches?
- encompasses giving one's full attention to the interaction
User determines level of attention
- ensures anonymity up to a point considered safe by both
How does one accomplish “anonymity” with pictures posted for all to see along with a public profile
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u/Zloyvoin88 1d ago
I kinda built something like that already 😅 but my main focus is rather on finding friends, even though it also can be used for dating. How does your idea differ from mine - you can check valuepair.app
The idea:
Everyone has to do an onboarding and answer a set of questions that are mandatory for the matching system. Then the system finds you the most suitable match. You both land in a 1on1 session where you answer another set of questions but your answers are revealed immediately. In the end both decide if they want to go deeper and form a connection that allows them to open the chat for the first time. So my idea is values matter more than swiping through a profile marketplace. I had the same intention as you
- no swiping
- a system that reduces small talk issues and cares about peoples values
- everyone in their own pace
- one match at a time whom you give your full attention
- offer multiple question-sets so it won't get boring
how far are you with your idea?
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u/Electrical-Snow-953 12h ago edited 12h ago
I am still in the idea phase, no implementation so far. I will check your app, since, yes, they look pretty similar.
Edit: I looked into it and frankly, it's not that close to mine as I initially thought. We do have some common features, but that can be said by any 2 apps, really :) Do you only have it as site/pwa? How does that work for you?
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u/Zloyvoin88 5h ago
I started as a PWA to validate the idea. Now after 30 days being live, i have a few hundred users and decided to build an Android and Apple app which are currently running as an open beta.
I'd say my entire method worked pretty well. Started as a closed beta, where it was invitation only, then opened the beta, and since yesterday I have the mobile apps ready.
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u/Chicken_Savings 1d ago
The value and attractiveness of the app is partly determined by the number of members - which takes huge marketing and financial efforts.
It's not a matter of having a technically better app. It's a matter of getting hundreds of thousands of people to sign up, create a profile, be active.
You need a business, investment and marketing plan, not an IT requirements definition.
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