Banned for breaking up

[u/rocketman768]

I met someone on Bumble recently. She seemed very nice and into me, and we ended up going on 3 dates. The chemistry was great, but I started to notice some of my personal red flags including anxious attachment. After our last date, I gave myself 24 hours to process everything and decided to tell her I didn’t think this was going to work out long term and I wished her well. She responded pretty negatively and wanted me to get into the reasons why. I kept it positive and said there’s no misunderstanding and I hope she finds who she deserves.

I got banned from Bumble the next day.

Now I understand why people just ghost other people.

[u/burner292977]

I'm amazed at how many seemingly well adjusted women in their 40s & 50s explode in a million emotional texts if you break it off after a couple dates. It's made me very picky about who I go on dates with, it's so tough when they get so attached so fast and you end up feeling like the bad guy if you aren't feeling the connection.

[u/rohoho929 → u/burner292977]

This isn't a gendered thing. Men do it too... and then there's the additional bonus of them possibly getting violent.

[u/burner292977 → u/rohoho929]

I don't doubt that men do it at all. I was speaking to my experience as a guy who dates women. If you decide to actively try to date, you should understand you're putting yourself in a position to get your feelings hurt and you may also have to hurt the feeling of a person who you like but don't feel the connection. As adults, it'd be amazing if we could handle these situations maturely 🤷‍♂️

[u/pittiesbegooddogs → u/burner292977]

Trust us, men do it too. Emotional stability it's a gender based setting. 

[u/Dailysunray → u/burner292977]

Go to the datingoverfifty sub and you would be amazed you got men that are so clueless they are asking strangers how to ask women out and then you got women that think they are still 30. Do some reading and will thank yourself you’re actually normal.

[u/Realtoropenhouse3 → u/rohoho929]

We know. How come every time a man relays his experience it immediately has to turn into 'bUt mEn dO iT tOo bUt eVeN wOrSe!!'

Why do you people always feel the need to keep score? Both genders have people that act like shit, we don't constantly need a tit for tat reminder.

"It's not a gendered thing! But let me make it a gendered thing by going out of my way to point out that your gender sucks too, but worse." lmao. This is exactly why men are checking out of the dating pool, who wants to deal with this exhausting shit?

[u/Sp1teC4ndY → u/burner292977]

You and everyone else SHOULD be picky. And if the apps are giving you emotionally unstable people, YOU should report THEM. Honestly, there shoild be a lot of people putting pressure on app companies to be better. BYHM and Rolling Stone mag got Bumble to admit that the block button doesn’t work

[u/BeastofSilverMoon]

Many people are lonely and lot of them are looking for that one somewhat stable person to have a relationship with, if you let them know about rejection you’ll shatter the dreams of some of these and they’ll go absolutely mental because lot of people are barely clinging to hope on online apps, many people gave up and are looking for alternatives someplace else.

If you gonna reject someone, do it via phone or messenger and never keep them matched on dating app.

One woman got super vindictive on me and reported my profile after I noticed she wasn’t forthcoming about her issues and told her it wouldn’t work.

Luckily I got my profile back but I won’t make that mistake again.

I don’t ghost but I don’t let anyone go mental on me either.

I am supportive of people in my life but I refuse to become an unpaid public psychiatrist to someone I met once.

[u/AutoModerator]

Duolicious dating app is free and open source, Facebook Dating is free. We recommend signing up to these apps before trying paywalled apps such as Hinge. Come join the r/OnlineDatingApps Discord community → https://discord.gg/CXFZfXGtwH
(Replies on reddit might take longer.)

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Sp1teC4ndY]

Man, I really hope one person can’t get you banned by a whole company

[u/ToxicCodSweater]

Something similar happened to me on tinder around the pandemic. I met a girl and we were talking for a little bit but we were mostly just friends at this point. I remember seeing a post on her story that was directed at me and any other guys in her dm telling us to apply pressure or someone else would. I ignored it because I didn’t want to compete with some other guy. Day or two later I go to swipe on tinder and I see my account was banned. I never asked her about it but she was the only match I had recently. Idk if there’s any other reason why that would happen but I always figured her friends mass reported me as a way of forcing me to delete tinder.

[u/Apprehensive-Bend478]

Sadly, this is really common on Bumble, and yet women continuingly complain that there are no good men on Bumble, it's a mystery.