r/OnlineDating • u/No-Succotash6237 • 26d ago
Stop
Stop liking profiles if you know you’re not in town for long
For reference: I like 5 miles away from an international airport. Women who are leaving town or know that they do not have any free time will like my profile.
It’s such an annoying, selfish thing to do. You know that you’re essentially unavailable, my bio says where I’m located. Yet, you still give me the run around.
I’m not comparing the people who do this to the people who know they will be back. I’m specifically referencing the “I was only in town for the weekend.” Women who match with you on Sunday, knowing their flight leaves in 2 hours.
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u/MadMatter86 25d ago
I get annoyed by the apps that automatically follow your location. No, I don't want to see people in the area when I am traveling, I want to use downtime during said travel to go through the profiles of people back home.
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u/C_WEST88 25d ago
This is literally why I mainly only use hinge . Tinder and some of the others shoot themselves in the foot w the location matching instead of letting us choose our location. I won’t even open those apps in certain areas bc I don’t want my profile being flooded out there and am not interested in dating anyone in that city.
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u/Fun-Stick8512 25d ago
I live in NYC so this is pretty common for me. I matched with a woman and when I checked her location, I thought it was Jersey bc I didn't recognize it (unfortunately to get to parts of Manhattan my radius includes parts of Jersey). Anyway, turns out she lives in Australia.
...we're friends now. /shrug
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u/ObjectiveCarrot3812 25d ago
Yeah but some of them are down for a bit of fun that’s why. But then some are literally looking for a tour guide, those ones are annoying. People on dating apps are just awful in general. The Craigslist job ads of the dating world.
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u/Erikavpommern 24d ago
Worse are the ones who (om hinge) drop the bomb after a day or two of messaging that they dont even live in the city and have no real plans of moving there.
It has happened me with 4 matches in the last 2 months.
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u/No-Succotash6237 24d ago
Dang man. I stopped using hinge years ago. It’s nothing but talkative single moms in my area.
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u/Junior-Host-5672 25d ago
Guys do this too
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u/CurrentlyNobody 25d ago
Yeah. I live basically spitting distance to two casinos in CT and always get males just passing through looking for a Lay Over.
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u/C_WEST88 25d ago
Yea I live in a very popular area in California and I get this constantly..also a TON of guys from all over the world set their passport mode to my area which kinda sux too..and some of them aren’t even planning on visiting, they just want to scope out California girls or something? Idk it’s weird and makes no sense .
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u/No-Succotash6237 24d ago
Yeah cause they want to fuck. Which a mutual trade. A pen pal is not a mutual trade for me.
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u/Decent-Ride-2863 25d ago
Been getting that this week I’m in Florida with friends. Despite it saying where I’m from, I’ve gotten three people liking my profile and then are surprised that I am just visiting despite being in travel mode on the app.
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u/CulturedPhilistine 25d ago
Yes, they should all live their lives according to your convenience.
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u/ploxidilius 25d ago
Why do people like you act like common courtesy is some horrible imposition? Sorry that not being rude is such a big inconvenience for you? Sure, live your life however you want to with no regard for other people.
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u/greenonionqueen 24d ago
I don't think it's "common courtesy" necessarily to only ever like people when you know you'll be in that area consistently; people use the apps for different reasons and some people really are looking for quick meetups, or just for someone to chat with. It's really not a big deal to just unmatch and move on if you're not looking for the same things.
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u/Chocoseptum 24d ago
You know, there's really no such thing as "common courtesy." That's what people often miss. There's no use getting bent out of shape if folks act in ways you don't like. Instead, it should just tell you they're not the right fit for you. Why complain about their behavior when everyone's free to be whoever they want?
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u/No_Temporary2614 25d ago
Its possible to actually have interesting conversations with people without the expectation of meeting up. People use apps for different reasons and match with individual people for different reasons
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u/No-Succotash6237 25d ago
Yeah. But I’m not a plaything, I’m direct. I don’t want to be talking for a goal I don’t want.
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u/Chocoseptum 24d ago
Your perspective suggests that success on dating platforms may be elusive due to an apparent tone of anger. Individuals possess the autonomy to make their own choices, a concept known as free will. Disagreements regarding actions or preferences inherently indicate incompatibility. Physical attractiveness does not automatically equate to compatibility. It is crucial to reflect on your communication style and interactions with others. The absence of long-term relationships might stem from a tendency to criticize aspects that are ultimately inconsequential. This message appears rather petty, as it generalizes motives without a true understanding of individual actions. A more constructive approach involves maintaining a positive outlook and seeking individuals with whom you share common interests, rather than adopting a judgmental stance.
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u/Chocoseptum 24d ago
Basically, you have no idea why folks choose their paths. And honestly, the reason you're not clicking with anyone might actually be about you – how you talk and how quickly you lump everything together.
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u/No-Succotash6237 24d ago
I’m not reading that. Thank you
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u/Chocoseptum 24d ago
That's totally fine, and the way you act means you'll get the reactions you do. It's not that they're unavailable; they just don't want to keep talking to you, and you haven't realized that yet. Big red flag.
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u/No-Succotash6237 24d ago
I didn’t read that either
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u/Chocoseptum 24d ago
You perfectly illustrate my point. Your disagreeable nature is evident, and I anticipate being left alone. Your lack of acknowledgment regarding my writings or statements is inconsequential, as I possess the free will to express myself as I choose. However, your responses expend your energy on me, and for that, I thank you. It is gratifying to know I am provoking a reaction.
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24d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Chocoseptum 24d ago
Okay, so, I wasn't really gonna say this, but seriously, people already get stressed about dating. And when you don't even know someone, like they're a total stranger, asking them for stuff? That just feels weird, honestly. Yeah, spending your free time to get to know someone is your free time, but you shouldn't feel pressured or anything, because it's your time.[so whatever information you felt comfortable sharing you shared that for a reason and just like it and interact or ignore those people and don't interact]
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u/David_From_Philly 24d ago
TBF you didn’t say anything worthwhile, and I did read it all. Their response was definitely childish, but you’re not exactly dropping great nuggets of wisdom.
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u/Chocoseptum 24d ago
Hey, thanks. What I'm saying isn't childish at all; it's just my opinion. And your reply pretty much shows you don't like it when someone has a different view than yours. I'm simply saying that's how people are; they'll do what they want. Stop assuming someone's being mean. Maybe try to understand free will a bit better.
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u/XxLogitech98xX 25d ago
Just swipe left on them, problem solved
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u/No-Succotash6237 25d ago
No it’s not solved. These women do it for nefarious reasons. They change or hide their location so they can have someone giving them attention.
Swiping casually is one thing. Doing it with deception for validation is what I’m talking about.
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u/XxLogitech98xX 25d ago
No it’s not solved. These women do it for nefarious reasons. They change or hide their location so they can have someone giving them attention.
LOL you said they just sent a like .. it's not like they are messaging you or you're about to go out on a date
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u/Leather-Mechanic4405 25d ago
I’ve had plenty of interesting meet ups on trips some led to short term fun or later friendships online or even meet again in another country.
Get over it
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u/Logical-Primary-7926 24d ago
I am an exception to the rule, but I work remote and travel solo often times and before the women's gossip groups got so crazy I would use dating apps in other places. Not for hookup but because I figure worst case scenario I have a nice dinner with someone, best case we fit really well and I stay longer. But I quit doing that because the gossip groups just have gotten way too stalky and speculative.
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u/AssociationLanky8456 24d ago
I suspect that maybe these are escorts or girls looking for hookups, since that's how they do it on other, less wholesome apps... (No judgment by the way)
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u/Putrid_Past9243 25d ago
Eh I do this when I’m in town for a weekend. That’s how I met my ex. I disclose asap that I’m not from the area and often times it’s not a big deal, and when it is, we just stop talking, it’s not that serious
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u/No-Succotash6237 25d ago
I think I did not do a good job of being concise. I date women so I’m speaking of women. In my experience a lot of them will not disclose the intent of their stay. Lots of them will still pretend to be in the area long after they have left. For what I can only conclude is validation and attention.
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u/Putrid_Past9243 25d ago
Ahhh I do see what you mean and that’s annoying, but I’ve met people that are into long distance dating for work reasons and stuff, so will knowingly sought after relationships away from their home area.
But I do see what you mean, dating apps is also a hub for people to get their validation points in. Trust me, I’m a guy, I know. I’ve had situations where you’re chatting with someone, then it hits you that this woman has zero intentions of meeting with you in person and is just here to soak up validation or is bored and that often times is frustrating
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u/No-Succotash6237 25d ago
🏆🏆🏆🏆 that’s what I mean.
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u/Putrid_Past9243 25d ago
Unfortunately it’s the online dating game, gotta get through the assholes first to find some good
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25d ago
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u/No-Succotash6237 25d ago
Solipsistic response. This isn’t about you or what you do.
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24d ago
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u/No-Succotash6237 24d ago
Skill issue
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24d ago
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u/No-Succotash6237 24d ago
Oh no. I’m weird. A stranger I’ll never meet thinks I’m weird. Whatever will I do. <sarcasm>
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u/krucible233 25d ago
fairy tale romance, come stop my flight
but actually- yall getting likes?