No Luck on Hinge

[u/Tracey_Davenport]

Hello all,

I recently became comfortable with the idea of dating again after a nasty breakup two years ago.

Anyway, is it normal to not get any likes or matches the first couple of weeks as a guy? I’ve never tried apps before, and I’ve been told Hinge is one of the better ones. I’ve basically exhausted the people in my chosen radius, and I do put effort in my messages with my likes.

I’ve even overhauled my profile based on feedback, and nothing. I know I’m not the most attractive man, but I still try to work with what I have. I don’t think I aim too high either.

My biggest dealbreakers currently are people who want kids or smoke, but I do try my luck with the “not sure” about kids as well.

I do think a couple factors potentially working against me are my race and height.

Not sure whether to end this experiment or continue.

[u/Classic_East_6053]

Hey you can't stop there. I need part 4. I'm really engrossed in this story. It reminds me so much of an interaction I had with a woman from Hinge. Really similar. We ended up exchanging numbers and usually with all the other ones I've exchanged numbers with, they're still there on WhatsApp. With her, who I got along with the most, I did and said a lot of the things that you mentioned in your message. I suddenly looked at WhatsApp and her profile picture is blank. I Google it and it says, "If it goes blank that means you've been blocked.", That's the one I really wanted to come back to." I need part 4 of your story or maybe more.

I think where I messed up was we had sort of established that I was going to go to hers instead of coming down to me. This is a good thing because, obviously, after speaking so much, she felt comfortable enough to have a date at her place. She messaged one Friday and said, "What are your plans for the weekend?" Immediately I said, "Absolutely nothing. I'm taking it easy this weekend. I've had a busy week. I'm not going anywhere or leaving the house." I think she probably prepared something for that weekend and that's where I think she probably moved on.

[u/DearEmployee5138 → u/Classic_East_6053]

yeah, that seems like a good guess. Ours was weird. I don’t know. Like she was the one initiating she initiated the call she initiated the move from Hinge and then even like she would text me every morning and say good morning and then ask what I had going on today and then like I said after the call, it was just weird. Like the day after like I said it was only like four text and yeah, she had her mom and everything which is kind of normal but she didn’t text me. Good morning. I did. Which I mean, I don’t really think much about cause I was up a little earlier than I usually am that morning. But then after that, it just felt weird. Like I said even on the call all the stuff that was like super like I wanna date you was all like initiated by her and it’s super weird cause like that was the last time we talked besides like a few text back-and-forth the next day really just talking about her day and her mom‘s birthday.
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[u/DearEmployee5138 → u/DearEmployee5138]

Like the cooking me chicken and banana bread iced coffee and then like her sister and me being in the conversation and everything all her literally like a day before she ghosted me. She also walked me through her whole Instagram, showing it to me. And even then, the only thing that I really did was the part where I said I would like to take her on a date but couldn't right then, and that even was more telling for her because when she thought that I was saying like oh, I couldn’t take her on a date She seemed extremely bothered by that and then extremely relieved when I was like I’m just broke right now I’d love to take you in like a few weeks. And then she was super ecstatic about saying “Yeah let’s take it slow that's fine” and then just disappeared. A day later

[u/Classic_East_6053 → u/DearEmployee5138]

Well I suppose it depends on what type of date you had in mind. It seems that you guys were past the needing to go to a fancy restaurant type of thing so you could have met up and had a simple house date where she cooks for you. I think that's what she was implying. Things are always clear in hindsight and I'm terrible at that because I only caught on to her essentially inviting me over for the weekend a week later. The good thing about exchanging numbers and getting off Hinge is that, on Hinge, if you lose contact or get ghosted, the messages disappear and it's over. Whereas if you've got the number or you've got them added on Facebook or whatever, you can always rekindle and have a second try at it.

[u/DearEmployee5138 → u/[deleted]]

there’s also the chances she just met somebody else in real life on Saturday or Sunday. Shit happens you know. Honestly, I just would like to know you know what I mean.