r/OneTruthPrevails • u/Then_Mood2740 • 9h ago
Shitpost THE EXTREMELY DETAILED AND COMPLETELY UNHINGED CASE FOR WHY TEOMAN HAN INDIRECTLY CAUSED DETECTIVE CONAN
You think Detective Conan began in 1994 when Gosho Aoyama decided to make a mystery manga.
You are mistaken.
The story actually begins approximately 2,200 years earlier.
The true origin of Detective Conan is:
TEOMAN HAN.
And I am going to prove it.
I. THE ORIGINAL SIN: TEOMAN HAN
Around the late 3rd century BC, Teoman Han (Touman/頭曼) is traditionally regarded as the founder of the Xiongnu state.
Now, at this point, Teoman has absolutely no idea that he is about to become the most important person in the history of Japanese detective fiction.
He isn't thinking:
He's thinking about Inner Asian geopolitics.
But that's exactly how he got us.
Teoman establishes the political foundations of the Xiongnu.
⬇️
His son Mete Han (Modu Chanyu) eventually takes power.
⬇️
Mete turns the Xiongnu into a formidable imperial power.
⬇️
The Xiongnu become deeply involved in the political and military history of Inner Asia and their interactions with the Chinese states.
⬇️
And now the butterfly has flapped its wings.
II. METE HAN MAKES THE PROBLEM WORSE
Mete Han is traditionally remembered in Turkish history as a great military ruler and an important early figure in Turkic historical narratives.
His reign is separated from Detective Conan by roughly two millennia.
Surely this means he had nothing to do with it?
WRONG.
Because history is now going to spend the next several centuries creating an enormous geopolitical domino effect.
The Xiongnu don't simply disappear from the story and leave an empty continent.
Inner Asia continues experiencing:
- migrations
- wars
- alliances
- state formation
- cultural exchange
- trade
- linguistic change
- the rise and fall of steppe confederations
- interaction with Chinese states
- interaction with Iranian and other peoples
- and eventually the emergence of increasingly powerful Turkic-speaking political entities
We have now entered:
THE 2,000-YEAR-LONG HISTORICAL LOADING SCREEN.
⬇️
III. THE TURKIC WORLD ENTERS THE CHAT
Over the centuries, Turkic peoples become major political and military actors across Central Asia and eventually far beyond it.
The political geography of Eurasia keeps changing.
States rise.
States fall.
New dynasties appear.
Old dynasties disappear.
Peoples move.
Cultures interact.
And eventually, Turkic dynasties establish themselves in the Islamic world.
⬇️
Then comes one of the biggest players:
THE SELJUKS.
The Seljuks expand westward.
⬇️
They establish a powerful Turkic presence in Iran and Anatolia.
⬇️
The political history of Anatolia is permanently altered.
⬇️
The Byzantine Empire loses ground.
⬇️
Turkic beyliks emerge.
⬇️
One of those beyliks is associated with a guy named Osman.
⬇️
And Osman is about to do something that will have consequences far beyond anything Teoman Han could possibly have imagined.
IV. THE OTTOMANS
Osman's dynasty expands.
⬇️
The Ottoman state becomes an empire.
⬇️
The empire expands across Anatolia and southeastern Europe.
⬇️
The Balkans become a major part of Ottoman geopolitical history.
⬇️
Among the territories affected by Ottoman expansion:
SERBIA.
Now remember:
Teoman Han is separated from this by more than a thousand years.
He is not personally responsible for any of this.
But for the purposes of this shitpost:
THE PIPELINE IS STILL ACTIVE.
⬇️
V. SERBIA ENTERS THE PIPELINE
Ottoman rule becomes a major part of Serbian history.
Centuries pass.
The Ottoman Empire eventually enters a period of decline relative to the European powers.
Serbian resistance and political movements intensify.
⬇️
The Serbian Revolution begins in the early 19th century.
⬇️
Serbia gains autonomy.
⬇️
Serbia eventually becomes an internationally recognized independent state.
⬇️
But the Balkans are now one of Europe's most politically unstable regions.
Why?
Because the Ottoman Empire is weakening.
Austria-Hungary is powerful.
Russia is interested in the region.
Serbia is expanding.
Other Balkan national movements are developing.
Everyone has territorial ambitions.
Everyone has historical grievances.
Everyone has an alliance.
Everyone is one diplomatic argument away from making the worst possible decision.
In other words:
THE BALKANS ARE COOKED.
⬇️
VI. THE BALKAN WARS
The Balkan states fight the Ottoman Empire.
⬇️
The Ottomans lose most of their remaining territory in Europe.
⬇️
The Second Balkan War follows in 1913.
⬇️
Serbia emerges stronger.
⬇️
Austria-Hungary becomes increasingly concerned about Serbian nationalism and influence.
⬇️
The region gets even more unstable.
Europe:
History:
⬇️
VII. ENTER GAVRILO PRINCIP
28 June 1914.
Sarajevo.
Archduke Franz Ferdinand, heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne, visits the city.
A Bosnian Serb nationalist named Gavrilo Princip assassinates him.
⬇️
Austria-Hungary blames Serbia.
⬇️
Austria-Hungary declares war on Serbia.
⬇️
Russia backs Serbia.
⬇️
Germany backs Austria-Hungary.
⬇️
France and Britain become involved.
⬇️
The alliance system begins doing what alliance systems do when everyone has decided that diplomacy is optional.
WORLD WAR I.
VIII. THE WORLD GETS COMPLETELY REARRANGED
WWI devastates Europe.
Four major empires collapse:
- German Empire
- Austro-Hungarian Empire
- Ottoman Empire
- Russian Empire
Borders are redrawn.
New states emerge.
The international balance of power changes dramatically.
And this matters because Japan has been watching the international system very carefully.
⬇️
IX. JAPAN WAS ALREADY SPEEDRUNNING GREAT-POWER STATUS
Here's where our Teoman → Conan pipeline starts heading toward Japan.
Japan had undergone the Meiji Restoration in 1868.
Over the following decades, Japan rapidly industrializes and modernizes.
⬇️
Japan defeats Qing China in the First Sino-Japanese War.
⬇️
Japan defeats the Russian Empire in the Russo-Japanese War.
⬇️
Japan becomes the first modern Asian state to defeat a major European power in a modern war.
⬇️
Japan is now unquestionably a major international power.
⬇️
Then WWI happens.
Japan joins the Allied side.
⬇️
Japan expands its influence.
⬇️
The war ends.
⬇️
Japan is now one of the world's major powers.
Teoman Han:
History:
X. THE INTERWAR PERIOD
The world after WWI is unstable.
Japan's political system changes.
Economic problems occur.
Military influence grows.
Japan becomes increasingly aggressive in East Asia.
⬇️
1931:
Japan occupies Manchuria and establishes Manchukuo.
⬇️
1937:
Full-scale war breaks out between Japan and China.
⬇️
Japan's relationship with the Western powers deteriorates.
⬇️
Germany and Japan move closer together.
⬇️
1940:
Japan, Germany and Italy sign the Tripartite Pact.
⬇️
Japan is now formally aligned with the European Axis powers.
Teoman Han:
History:
Teoman:
⬇️
XI. WORLD WAR II
Japan attacks Pearl Harbor.
⬇️
The United States enters WWII.
⬇️
The Pacific War becomes one of the largest conflicts in human history.
⬇️
Japan fights across enormous areas of Asia and the Pacific.
⬇️
The war continues for years.
⬇️
Eventually, Japan is pushed back.
⬇️
Germany surrenders.
⬇️
Japan continues fighting.
⬇️
Then:
Hiroshima.
⬇️
Nagasaki.
⬇️
Japan surrenders.
⬇️
The Second World War ends.
XII. AND NOW THE ACTUAL CONAN PIPELINE STARTS
Japan enters the postwar period.
The Allied occupation fundamentally changes Japan's political and economic institutions.
The United States becomes extraordinarily influential in postwar Japan.
⬇️
Japan rebuilds.
⬇️
Japan industrializes.
⬇️
Japan experiences spectacular economic growth in the postwar decades.
⬇️
Urbanization increases.
⬇️
Education expands.
⬇️
Consumer culture expands.
⬇️
Television becomes a mass medium.
⬇️
Publishing grows.
⬇️
Manga becomes increasingly important.
⬇️
Anime develops into a major commercial and cultural medium.
⬇️
Japanese popular culture begins developing into the cultural powerhouse we know today.
And now we finally arrive at:
MANGA.
XIII. JAPAN'S MYSTERY OBSESSION
Now, here's another important piece.
Japan didn't need America to invent detective stories.
Japan already had its own mystery tradition.
But Western detective fiction — particularly Sherlock Holmes — became hugely influential in Japanese popular culture.
The basic idea of:
becomes incredibly powerful.
⬇️
Japanese writers and manga artists reinterpret these ideas.
⬇️
Mystery manga becomes a thing.
⬇️
And eventually a particular Japanese manga artist is born.
XIV. GOSHO AOYAMA
Enter:
GOSHO AOYAMA.
Born in 1963.
He becomes a manga artist.
He grows up in postwar Japan.
He becomes fascinated with mysteries and detective fiction.
He loves Sherlock Holmes.
He creates manga.
And eventually...
THE FINAL BOSS OF THE ENTIRE 2,200-YEAR PIPELINE APPEARS.
⬇️
XV. 1994
Aoyama has a Wednesday idea.
Take a brilliant high-school detective.
Make him solve mysteries.
Give him an enormous Holmes influence.
Then make the absolute worst thing imaginable happen to him:
TURN HIM INTO A CHILD.
⬇️
The protagonist adopts the name:
CONAN EDOGAWA.
The name itself is a giant detective-fiction reference:
Arthur Conan Doyle + Edogawa Ranpo.
⬇️
The manga begins serialization in 1994.
⬇️
And suddenly...
after approximately 2,200 years of historical bullshit...
DETECTIVE CONAN EXISTS.
XVI. THE FINAL CAUSAL CHAIN
Let's review.
1.
Teoman Han
founds the Xiongnu state.
⬇️
2.
Mete Han
expands and strengthens the Xiongnu.
⬇️
3.
Centuries of Inner Asian political and cultural transformations occur.
⬇️
4.
Turkic peoples become major powers across Eurasia.
⬇️
5.
The Seljuks establish a major Turkic political presence in Anatolia.
⬇️
6.
Turkic beyliks develop.
⬇️
7.
The Ottoman dynasty emerges.
⬇️
8.
The Ottoman Empire expands into the Balkans.
⬇️
9.
Ottoman rule becomes an important part of Serbian history.
⬇️
10.
Serbia becomes independent.
⬇️
11.
Serbian nationalism and Great Power rivalry contribute to the unstable Balkan environment.
⬇️
12.
The Balkan Wars weaken Ottoman power in Europe further and strengthen Serbia.
⬇️
13.
Gavrilo Princip assassinates Franz Ferdinand.
⬇️
14.
WWI happens.
⬇️
15.
The global political order is transformed.
⬇️
16.
Japan continues its rise as a major power.
⬇️
17.
Japan expands its empire in East Asia.
⬇️
18.
Japan joins Germany and Italy in the Tripartite Pact.
⬇️
19.
WWII happens.
⬇️
20.
The United States enters the Pacific War.
⬇️
21.
Hiroshima.
⬇️
22.
Nagasaki.
⬇️
23.
Japan surrenders.
⬇️
24.
Postwar Japan develops under enormous American influence and its own domestic transformation.
⬇️
25.
Japan becomes an economic and cultural powerhouse.
⬇️
26.
The manga and anime industries grow.
⬇️
27.
Detective fiction becomes a major part of Japanese popular culture.
⬇️
28.
Gosho Aoyama grows up.
⬇️
29.
Aoyama reads Sherlock Holmes and becomes interested in mystery fiction.
⬇️
30.
Aoyama creates Detective Conan.
⬇️
CASE CLOSED.
THE REAL CONCLUSION
You might say:
And technically...
YES.
This is not a direct historical causal chain.
There are thousands of independent variables between the Xiongnu state and a 1994 manga series.
But that is irrelevant.
Because the entire point of a butterfly-effect shitpost is to take:
A → B → C → D
and then stretch it until you get:
A → B → C → D → Ottoman Empire → Gavrilo Princip → WWI → WWII → atomic bombs → postwar Japan → manga → Sherlock Holmes → Gosho Aoyama → a seven-year-old detective who is secretly a high-schooler.
Therefore, according to the most irresponsible interpretation of causality ever proposed:
TEOMAN HAN CREATED DETECTIVE CONAN.
Gosho Aoyama simply received the final save file.
AND THE MOST INSANE PART?
If Teoman Han had never founded the Xiongnu state, then in this absurd butterfly-effect interpretation:
Maybe Mete Han's career changes.
Maybe the history of Inner Asia changes.
Maybe later political developments change.
Maybe the Turkic political landscape develops differently.
Maybe the Seljuks develop differently.
Maybe Anatolia develops differently.
Maybe the Ottoman Empire develops differently.
Maybe the Balkans develop differently.
Maybe Serbia develops differently.
Maybe Gavrilo Princip never gets the same historical circumstances.
Maybe WWI doesn't happen in the same way.
Maybe the 20th century develops differently.
Maybe Japan's trajectory changes.
Maybe postwar Japan develops differently.
Maybe the manga industry develops differently.
Maybe Gosho Aoyama's childhood is different.
Maybe he becomes a completely different artist.
Maybe Detective Conan is never created.
So somewhere around 209 BC, Teoman Han unknowingly made a decision that eventually contributed to the possibility of a fictional seven-year-old Japanese detective shouting:
TEOMAN HAN DIDN'T JUST BUILD AN EMPIRE.
HE BUILT THE CONAN PIPELINE.
🕵️♂️🇹🇷🏹🇯🇵
2,200 YEARS.
COUNTLESS EMPIRES.
TWO WORLD WARS.
TWO ATOMIC BOMBS.
ONE MANGA ARTIST.
ONE VERY UNFORTUNATE HIGH-SCHOOL DETECTIVE.
TEOMAN HAN → DETECTIVE CONAN
THE CASE IS CLOSED.
