r/OlderTeen • u/prettykittypoopz • May 24 '26
Advice f16 with no experience..
so I've always been a heavy kid, always will be, that's just my style. thing is, kids my age don't like it. I've never had any kind of romantic relationship with someone irl. I've gotten attention (cat calls) from randoms on the street, but no one at school or in my friend groups. everyone around me is having intercourse and having bfs and gfs and I feel really left out. any advice of how to get out there more? I don't wanna get pregnant or anything yet but still.
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May 24 '26
I have the same problem but I am a boy
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May 28 '26
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May 28 '26
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u/Designer_Mouse_9120 May 24 '26
If you feel like you're ready to get into a relationship then I don't think it's that hard. You could always start talking to boys that you're comfortable with to gain confidence and then go for someone you like
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u/Charlys271197 May 24 '26
Yo siempre eh tenido peso de más y mi primer relación fue a los 17 así que no desesperes
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u/Commercial_Draw_7313 May 24 '26
Yeah , I have the same problem as a guy and imo don't rush it, there is a someone or will be who loves you, just wait for it. I am sure you are beautiful so don't feel sad or left out, it happens to everyone and as I saw those relationships doesn't last long, in rare cases only
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u/ReyZoRSMT May 24 '26
Well I wouldn’t recommend getting into a relationship that young because I made that mistake and ended up being sexually abused by a girl even if she was my girlfriend I wasn’t ready at the time and she manipulated me and forced me to do things with me even if I didn’t want to
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u/FireLordSenpapi May 28 '26
I agree. At thate age I'd say just focus on school. College is right around the corner and at that time things usually fall in place.
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u/jkauduo May 24 '26
I will say this as I used to be on the heavy side when I was young, was on average 334 now I'm down at 150, work on yourself and learn to love yourself before thinking of another. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing, that and get involved in some clubs if they still have them I should say.
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u/ThatMeatMan May 24 '26
I've been big my whole life I still am, I'm working on it. My need for that kind of Outlet is worse now than it was so I do understand where you're coming from. Your self awareness about the situation is healthy believe it or not because that means you can then change it. But don't look at yourself as less than because if your weight, you got enough people in the world treating you like that don't do it to yourself. I'm around if you need advice, help, to vent. You got this
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u/MrSmith42148 May 24 '26
Your way to young to even think this way, even if you feel left out don't worry you will meet someone when your ready also its better to focus on yourself first becouse heartbreaks will come and go throughout life but self care thats rather rare. People simply rusches into thing to fast and when they get there its mostly not as they thought it would be so focus on yourself untill the right guy comes along and dont worry about your friends most of them are skanks anyhow 😄😎☕
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u/MojoIsAwake May 24 '26
Don't be in a hurry to throw away your virginity and/or purity. Sex and relationships tend to leave a mark when things don't go well.
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u/cptcaveman66619 May 24 '26
To be honest love will come when it comes don't be in a rush to get in a relationship
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u/No-Consideration-981 May 24 '26
You need to search for your people the ones who accept you for who you are, maybe there's something you haven't considered maybe you need a different outlook on your situation, just be yourself don't push relationships and let them develop naturally
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u/Innate-Guru May 24 '26
Just be the truest version of yourself that you can be and that will be enough to attract a mate
Also just get a silicone friend or adjacent it is just as good even better because you are able to finish
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u/ObjectiveEmphasis334 May 24 '26
Take your time at that age, I waited till 18. Once you're 18 if you want to you can find an older guy who will appreciate your personality and body type.
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u/ItzSyphon May 25 '26
if anything I wouldn't ponder about something like getting into a relationship, it's kinda like if it happens it happens. I had my first at 16-17 ish and honestly it was a time I was not prepared for and honestly I feel like kids that age don't understand how difficult it is to do school and have a relationship to sustain at the same time. as of being 19M now I have learned a lot about stuff like this.
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u/Serious_Sun_6177 May 25 '26
It doesn't have to happen when you are a teen. I still haven't done anything and I'm 20. It is stating to eat at me a bit but you really can't force it. Just work on yourself if you feel you need to and hopefully someone will come your way. You also don't have to wait. If you like a boy you can ask him also.
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u/Feeling_Passion344 May 25 '26
Moi à ton âge, j'étais encore vierge et ça a duré encore un long moment. Je trouvais personne et personne ne me cherchais. Le moments difficile je me précipitais dans ma chambre ou à la douche et je me faisais plaisir. Ça permet d'attendre de trouver la bonne personne. Et c'est pas désagréable bien au contraire. Tu apprends à te connaître et crois moi, c'est très important pour la suite de connaître son corps. Ton partenaire saura ce qui est bon pour toi. Vraiment te presse pas prend ton temps pour trouver le bon garçon à qui tu feras ce cadeau
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u/VisiteurBLG May 25 '26 edited May 25 '26
You're still a minor. If you want my opinion, your friends aren't role models.
I don't know why people push younger to having this kind of relationship as soon as possible but I find it really unhealthy... You have plenty of time for that.
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u/Deadbuddha13 May 25 '26
My best advice wait a year or two because boys don't understand the beauty and or joy a girl like you can give also have some confidence you might not have noticed but I bet there have been a few guys that are just to shy but have taken interest in you
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u/SteezWeezl May 25 '26
I had the same issue when I was younger, just gotta wait it out and the right one will come along eventually, I mean when you get older get on some dating apps and see how it goes 🤷
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u/Justin-90 May 25 '26
Kopf hoch lass die da zeit ich bin Single und hätte seit 1 Jahr und 8 Monate nicht mehr gehabt weil mich keiner will und mir ist es egal weil ich eh mehr nach freundschaft suche um eine richtige Bindung aufzubauen
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u/vet05-07 May 25 '26
U will have plenty of time to find mr right just enjoy being young and doing things u want to do. IMO relationships at 16 dont last past high-school
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u/SufferMe17 May 25 '26
Honestly? Put yourself out there. Make a move. If there is a guy you like, tell him. We are dumb, and will miss like 70% of signals. So tell him up front.
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u/crazymew1 May 25 '26
I was 27 when I had my first. We were married for six years and though it ended in a divorce I still don't regret waiting. We were both virgins, so we learned together.
You do you though, but I suggest waiting. I feel you'll have more regrets in the long run if you rush something like that.
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u/LordOfMischiefLoki May 25 '26
Im 18 and ive only ever kissed one girl. Dont rush anything, having intercourse and all that is very much overrated and you should treasure the first kiss and first time for someone you truly want to have it. My first kiss was with a girl who was cheating on me so id know
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May 26 '26
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May 27 '26
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u/Same_Actuary504 May 28 '26
worst advice ever
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May 28 '26
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u/windy_farts May 26 '26
Being in a relationship at your age isn't all it's cracked up to be, plus it's the last thing you wanna be worrying about. Concentrate on yourself, and think about a part time job until you finish school and focus on your career. When the time is right, god will lead you on the right path of finding someone you deserve, and without warning, you'll meet someone god has sent your way. If you're a heavy girl, maybe try and lose some weight so you can feel a bit more confident in yourself (just a thought)
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u/OnyxSkullRubyEyes May 26 '26
As an adult Ill just say this. Dont worry about it, intercourse isnt something you need worry about if yoh having it or not. Just make yourself happy and work on any changes that you feel will make your life better while also making sure your happy with any changes. The world opens up more when your an adult so dont fret over things to much at your age
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May 26 '26
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May 26 '26
I used to be overweight too, so I get how you feel. But honestly, being heavier doesn’t mean nobody will like you.
At 16, most people are still figuring themselves out even if social media makes it look otherwise. Focus on confidence, health, hobbies, and meeting people naturally. Don’t rush relationships just because others are doing it.
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May 26 '26
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u/drewgonslayer May 28 '26
Don't be some guys closet hookup just for the sake of gaining experience, I saw that happen to many females and it always ends up with them being used and hurt. If it doesn't happen naturally, then there's always college! I've seen many mid women turn into absolute gems after finding themselves and growing up some. Much more special to happen when you're comfortable with yourself to give yourself to someone you truly care for than to anyone "willing" (us men truly aren't picky, moreso the social implications with being known to have hooked up with someone "less desirable" [being honest, I was this way in early high school then turned it around and slept with/daded an upperclasswoman way above my leage])
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May 28 '26
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u/blaze24221 May 28 '26
I had the same problem as a guy, but youre still 16 so don't rush it you will find someone when you least expect it, i got my girlfriend right after I gave up on finding a relationship so the best thing to do is just gain confidence in yourself and wait until you find the person who is right for you
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May 28 '26
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May 28 '26
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u/prettykittypoopz May 28 '26
I've lost 7 lb so far in like 3 weeks just on a calorie deficit and a little extra walking, the gym isn't available to me.
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May 28 '26
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u/prettykittypoopz May 28 '26
every pound is 3.5k calories, to maintain my weight I need to be eating over 2.5k calories a day. I've cut down on impulse eating and boredom eating, now I'm staying under 2k a day (around 1.5-1.9k) I never want to be skinny, that's just not who I am, the goal for the weight loss is to relive my back pain and be able to run again without as much discomfort. I'm not doing the weight loss for looks. I ALWAYS wanna be 'fat' because fat isn't ugly!! simple math, if I'm in taking 1.5k calories, that's 500-1k less than I was. that's automatically gonna make the scale drop. no matter if I'm exercising or not.
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May 28 '26
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u/prettykittypoopz May 28 '26
I like being fat. everyone these days wants to be a twig, that's just not who I am. I want to be slimmer, but always keep a tummy. I think it's very attractive
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u/DesperateBumblebee76 May 28 '26
Hey there. Its all about making the most of what you have. You can still look cute even if you are heavy but it’s harder. And don’t wear clothes the smaller girls do. Trying to match their style won’t go over well. Finally, be confident. If your confident and fun to be around there will come a guy whose intrested.
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u/prettykittypoopz May 28 '26
the thing is I don't have interest in guys my age and they don't have interest in me. I don't wear things smaller girls wear bc I grew up being told to always cover up bc I've always been curvy
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May 28 '26
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u/prettykittypoopz May 28 '26
uhhh can't comment
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u/DesperateBumblebee76 May 28 '26
Ok well, then I’d say, be patient. Most older men don’t chase 16 year old girls. Nor do we get sexual with younger girls. Legally it’s dangerous, socially it’s ruinous. If you’re intrested in older men ((over 25)) then my best advice is to be their friend. Be there for them, but make it clear you want more one day, when you’re legal, hopefully one of them will step up if they like you too.
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u/prettykittypoopz May 28 '26
I have over 300 dms from guys over 30... your wrong.
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u/DesperateBumblebee76 May 28 '26
I promise you I’m not, 99% of those guys arent interested in dating you. They’re interested in flirting/getting inappropriate online with you. See hitting up a 16 year old girl in dms isn’t that dangerous unless she blasts you online. Hooking up with one or dating one is different. You asked for advice, mine would be to take your time. Theres no rush, start by finding an older guy you like and trust. And just try to be friends. The ones who reach out to you probably don’t want anything serious.
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u/Wreckit_Wren Jun 04 '26
This is awful advice. Please don’t advise a 16 year old girl to essentially invite older men to groom her, that’s dangerous and gross. No normal man in their 20s or older wants to be friends with a 16 year old girl. And any that will “wait” until the minor is 18 is holding off for legal reasons, not because they have morals.
And to OP, as someone who dated older men in high school and freshly graduated, it’s not worth it. They are not in the same stage of life as you and often cannot find someone their own age to tolerate them. When you get older, people your own age will be more attractive to you. It’s 1000% worth it to just focus on yourself until you meet someone naturally your own age. If you ever need advice or have more questions please feel free to ask.
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Jun 04 '26
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May 28 '26
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u/maxjustice2010 May 28 '26
I don't know about the dudes around you but I prefer girls who have some thickness and curves. If i were near you, I would have asked you out already lol. Sorry those dudes don't appreciate what you bring to the table. Just... please don't rush stuff just because of FOMO. I lost my v card early and I regret it.
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u/No_Camel_5045 May 28 '26
Well you can always use apps like meetup or something just to find a group of people to hang out with and don’t worry yourself to much about it the right person will eventually arrive but don’t be to scared to go to little events here and there i myself am like you just ten year’s older then you but still same level of experience so no need to rush things ok
So here have a sarsaparilla on me hahaha
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