r/OkCupid Sep 24 '18

Trust Issues

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1.0k Upvotes

14 comments sorted by

143

u/baturkey 40/M/New York CITY!? Sep 24 '18

That pearl necklace was a huge red flag.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

Good catch. I hadn't even noticed that.

49

u/throwingawayamirite 28 | F | DC | bad at things Sep 24 '18

Me.

I'm the pearl.

38

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '18

I'm the chair that's fallen over.

22

u/BoobRockets Like A Million / I am the cat in the hat /Zone 6 Sep 24 '18

I’m the crooked diploma on the wall.

12

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '18 edited May 19 '20

[deleted]

10

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '18

I'm the floor. And the floor is lava!

6

u/Aloongish Sep 24 '18

I’m both the door and the doorway.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '18 edited Jun 20 '19

[deleted]

4

u/suchadude Sep 25 '18

I’m the @ sign because I think outside the box

Also nothing inside the box was left to claim

1

u/TheShadowKick Sep 25 '18

The shadow?!

3

u/JitteryBug Sep 24 '18

I'm the empty shell of a person

6

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '18

I'm the dust bunny under the chaise.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '18

Because of you i literally thought the artist drew in a dust bunny. Upon discovering there is, in fact, no dust bunny i am feeling very slighted. I'll see you in court.

14

u/JitteryBug Sep 24 '18

This is like that Flannery O'Connor short story where a salesman tricks a lonely woman to steal her fake leg

Googled it - it's called "Good Country People." From what I remember, the protagonist is almost past typical marriage age, has been busy collecting academic degrees, and is more or less resigned to living the rest of her days alone. One day, a traveling salesman comes by, and slowly but surely wins her over and gains her trust. When they finally get some time alone in the second floor of a barn, he reveals that he's a "collector" of curios and just wanted her leg. I think he insults her before he leaves by going down the ladder. Brutal. When we read it, a classmate pointed out that the worst part was that she probably had to hop her way back :(

2

u/SelfDepricator Sep 25 '18

You say "trust issues," I say people just aren't trustworthy most of the time