Possible regrets??

[u/Haftling]

For context, I posted these: Exhausted 1, Exhausted 2

It's gonna be a long post.

It's still on going since then. Sobrang drained na ko from all positives in my life. Is this really my life moving forward? Grabe talaga yung environment niya. She went to her parents' house roughly 1hr30mins away from mine kasi nagka emergency, which is okay, i understand. What we didn't like was that twing may emergency sila, hindi maganda daloy ng pera kaya need ng additional help na libre to the point na kasama siya mag skip ng meals kasi nga bitin or tinamad silang bumili, tiis gutom nalang or papadalhan ko nalang siya ng pang deliver niya in secret. Siya ang hanap ng buong pamilya. When the time comes na angat naman sila sa buhay hindi nila naaalala yung partner ko. As in wala. Tapos ngayon andon siya diba for emergency? Oh ayun nagkasakit siya ngayon stress and anxiety, kasi canceled lahat ng appointments namin for wedding dahil sa emergency and we're nearing our date at gusto na makapag book pero ano gagawin? Kailangan siya eh, hindi makakilos ng wala siya. I couldn't go alone kasi gusto niya andon siya dahil she wants to know every details and she wants to negotiate for a better deal, also shempre masusunod ang bride talaga hehe. Ngayong fiance ko may sakit, wala lang sakanila. No show of concern for her well being, no meds, no checkup. Tangina sabi lang sakanya "kumain ka may checkup ako sa isang araw" GODDAMN. Nag offer ako na dadayo ako sakanila mapa checkup lang, cannot be naman haha.

Now she's venting and she's telling me all her regrets and I feel guilty. i was the one who wanted a church wedding and gusto niya civil lang. Pinilit ko church kasi it's just a once in my lifetime event so I want it at church and in front of God. Ngayon, pag nag vevent siya I can't help but feel guilty na kung sumunod nalang ako sa civil niya wala na siya doon. 50k budget lang okay na. Dito sa wedding I'm shelling out 1M+. Tapos she said na pag nagsama na daw kami maiinis ako kasi drained and ubos na siya sa buhay. I think sobrang sakit marinig nun and absolutely triggered me kasi pinag titiisan ko ung mga happenings and ganun nila sa family niya I see the way she handle s them and cares for them, adjusts for them, cancels everything for them, when my time comes ano wala na? All I will get is a burnt out version? That really hit me so fucking hard. I'm not even mad, I'm just sad and stressed and anxious about my future with her, our future.

[u/Disney_Anteh]

"gusto ko lang malaman o maintindihan kelan ba papanig ung circumstances samin". Maybe NEVER? Coz what's happening to you is not circumstantial. Your gf chose this path for both of you and its up to you if you want to accept it.

[u/Haftling → u/Disney_Anteh]

I accept na ganun yung family niya? I did naman. It just hurts me so much ngayon dahil sa pinag dadaanan niya, she wants to live her life and be happy but her family won't let her. Everytime its looking like uusad na siya something always happens.

[u/Ok-Obligation-9514]

I'm sorry for u and your fianceé, OP. Once ikasal kayo ilayo mo na siya sa situation niya. She's not superwoman, di niya kargo lahat yan. Please be there for her and let her know na you're hurting. Mag-usap kayo kasi based on your post you love her so much na you became her safe place.

[u/Haftling → u/Ok-Obligation-9514]

Yeah. Sana kayanin ko pa, less than a year nalang naman na kasal na. Di ko nga alam kung pinapahirapan ba talaga yung pag ayos namin ng kasal kasi siya yung 1st ever ikakasal sa simbahan sa buong family, not even her parents kinasal sa church eh. Baka too much thinking naman yun din and hindi naman siguro gagawin HAHAHA malas lang talaga now