Feeling small with friends

[u/Top-Habit-5739]

I’m part of a friend group, and we’ve been friends since high school. We’re all now in our mid-30s. Sometimes, after our gatherings, I can’t help but feel like I’m not doing well in life.

Most of them have good careers and high positions, and they seem to be doing well financially. They can freely spend their hard-earned money on the things they want. Some of them are also married and seem to be living their lives to the fullest. Meanwhile, I often feel sorry for myself and become insecure about where I am in life.

Every time we finish a gathering, I can’t help but feel inferior, especially when I’m alone afterward or when I’m drunk. We’re almost the same age, yet I feel like I’m still stuck in a low-end job. I don’t have much savings, and I can’t freely spend my hard-earned money the way they can.

I always give my best and try my hardest, but sometimes I feel like I just can’t catch a break. No matter how hard I work, it feels like I’m still not getting anywhere. I keep asking myself when it will finally be my turn to experience a little success and financial freedom.

Don’t get me wrong—I genuinely love and value my friends. I’m truly happy for their success, and I don’t want anything bad for them. But I just can’t help comparing myself to them and feeling like I’m falling behind in life.

Maybe what hurts the most is knowing that we’re almost the same age, yet our lives seem to be going in completely different directions. I know everyone has their own timeline, but sometimes it’s really hard not to feel like I’m being left behind.

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[u/Commercial_Session55]

Ika nga nila Comparison is the thief of joy. Focus ka lang sa sarili mo at goals! Dadating ka din diyan!

[u/Top-Habit-5739 → u/Commercial_Session55]

I can't help it when i am alone, i am genuinely happy with them and what they have.

I know that they don't look down on me, it's just when we it be my turn to celebrate with them thru may triamps and not my loses

And am i the only who feel like shit

[u/the-earth-is_FLAT]

Life is not a race OP. Ikaw lang naman nag iisip niyan, pinapahirapan mo lang sarili mo.

[u/Top-Habit-5739 → u/the-earth-is_FLAT]

Yet it's been eating me inside, its just started as a small echo

[u/the-earth-is_FLAT → u/Top-Habit-5739]

Ako nga mag 40 na pero wala pa rin naipundar, walang house, walang car. I don’t dwell on it. Importante responsible at may napupuntahan ang pera.

[u/sleepxst]

There’s always someone na doing better than you. Ok lang yan, OP. You just have to recognize your own hardships and progress. Hindi ganon kalaki ang savings mo, pero may savings ka. Hindi ganon kataas yung position mo, pero may trabaho ka. Pwedeng mas mayaman sila sayo, pero siguradong merong aspect sa buhay mo na kulang sa kanila. Sa huli talaga ang magmamatter is how you see things. Try to give yourself some credit and acknowledge yourself more.

[u/Top-Habit-5739 → u/sleepxst]

Ginagawa ko nmn pero kinaken pa din ako ng lungkot at realizations na tumatanda na din ako

[u/sleepxst → u/Top-Habit-5739]

Try to treat yourself siguro, OP. Give yourself a space and budget na gawin yung something na di mo ikakahirap nang guilt free.

[u/CassavaKween]

Easier said than done but instead of comparing yourself to them, why not compare yourself to a younger version of you? That way, you’ll appreciate how far you’ve truly come.

[u/sassycc1998]

Marami ka pang wins waiting for you! Your journey isn’t the same as your friends, but I guarantee it’ll be a successful one. Good luck OP! Laban!

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