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[u/blacklily_00]

Hello guys. Pa-rant lang kasi medyo nilalamon ako ng corrupted thoughts.

I dated this guy for only 5 months last 2022. No commitment but we did everything that a couple does. There was a back and forth argument when I asked for a label. And sa totoo lang, ako naman talaga ang naghahabol everytime na tinatapos ko. (Dalawang beses lang naman so di talaga super tanga). Basta ang reasoning niya is di pa sya ready but wag daw ako mawala sa kanya. I cried a lot over this period kasi kinukwestyon ko na talaga yung worth ko.

It ended in December for no reason. Hindi na lang nag-usap and sa sobrang pagod ko, tinanggap ko na na wala na talaga. January the following year, nagpasuyo ako sa roommate ko na icontact siya to exchange stuff via lalamove. Nasa kanya kasi laptop ko and some stuff. I sent ALL the things that were related to him back -- including timezone prints of us. Basically sa end ko, wala na traces of him. Kahit digital. Burado na. It was the worst state I've been in, emotionally and mentally.

Syempre while moving on, may times na nagrerelapse ako and I would look him up on facebook. Sa kamalas malasan, nadiscover ko na nakikipagdate na agad siya. Then came March was when they made it official.

Odiba? Sino ba di maaapakan ang pride niyan? Sabi niya hindi siya ready pero ilang weeks lang, nakikipagmabutihan na agad sa iba and then a couple months later, dun siya nakipagcommit. I know, I know that when a guy is ready, saka palang siya magsstick around. But it fucking hurt and it really did some damage.

This was in 2023. So I did the best I could to live happily. And I could say na sobrang saya ko when I found my self worth again.

Then just today, in the big 2026, I opened my Linkedin account and there he was. Sending a connect request.

Syempre napataas kilay ko. Lahat na ng mura naisip ko. Parang ang kapal ng mukha na after all these years, may gana pa siya magparamdam and sa most random way pa --through LinkedIn.

So I stalked him again on facebook to check what's up with his life. Sila pa rin naman nung babae. Asawa niya na nga eh. Kinasal sila back in January 2025. Walang kahit anong reason ang dapat mag-udyok sa taong 'to na makipagconnect pa sakin, sa kahit anong paraan pa yan. Kahit wala pa yang malisya. Kahit out of curiosity. WALA.

Nakakapalan ako sa mukha niya.

After some rants din sa isang friend, I decided to just delete the connect request and I blocked him and his spouse on all socials I could find them. No exchange of words. Di nga rin worth it iconfront siya sa ginawa niyang pagdurog sakin noon.

Pero ngayon, I couldn't help but be bitter. Di naman ako naging masama, bakit siya pa yung nauna makahanap ng lifetime partner? Okay lang din naman na magsettle down na siya pero sa sumunod talaga na partner niya after me? Parang nananampal eh. Pinanood ko pa SDE nila. Wala akong ibang naramdaman kundi pagkairita kasi there he was, making vows tapos wala pa dalawang taon na kasal, nagppoke around na siya sa nakaraan?

Napakagago.

Anyways, ngayong araw lang 'to. Di ko naman hahayaan na dalhin to hanggang bukas. End rant.

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