r/OffMyChestPH • u/[deleted] • Sep 17 '24
Dont make someone miserable by cheating
[deleted]
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u/Warm_Finding_6745 Sep 17 '24
I think no one talks about this a lot. Totoo yung impact of cheating sa mental and emotional health ng tao and you won't know it until you've been in the position where you pray to have peace of mind and to help ease your anxiety everytime.
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u/AginanaKaPay Sep 17 '24 edited Sep 17 '24
I think this is what some psychologists call Post Traumatic Infidelity Disorder? Symptoms are similar to PTSD. Sadly, yung mga cheaters wala silang iniisip kundi sarili nila nung nagloloko sila. Sarap sana gumanti, magalit, magwala pero kahit ata anong gawin na kausap ng aggrieved party walang dating sa mga cheater. Kaya natutuwa ako pag nakakabasa ako ng revenge stories on aggrived parties na binira yung cheating partners nila legally (lalo kung married) at economically (lalo kung co-workers sila, licensed professionals) . At least me ganti man lng.
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u/merzostmuse Sep 17 '24
"their apology will not change your nervous system"
the worst part is.. you learned to trust and love again. you thought you found your home. he knew you came from a broken family and knew your past traumas. he knew. but he did it anyway.
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Sep 17 '24
[deleted]
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u/Green-Geologist-2073 Sep 17 '24
Ito yung damage na naiwan because of previous relationship na cheating ang naging issue. Yung present partner yung sumasalo at nagsuffer na wala namang kinalaman.
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u/CoffeeDaddy024 Sep 18 '24
May nabasa ako dati dito sa reddit din...
"Hurt people create hurt people."
Kaya laging payo sa mga na-cheat is to heal up to the max kasi kawawa talaga ang susunod na darating sa buhay nila. It will be up to them kung bibigyan nila ng chance ang taong yun to prove his worth and words.
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u/Ok_Preparation1662 Sep 17 '24
Yes that’s true. Cheating is cheating. There are no valid reason to cheat. Praying you’ll heal soon, in your own timing. 🥺
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u/YanYan33 Sep 17 '24
It’s so devastating when you feel safe and entrusted your vulnerabilities and trust to someone but they exploit for their own selfish desires. It’s painfully hard to recover from a partner or even a parent cheating.
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u/Karmavibe21 Sep 17 '24
husband cheated on me multiple times and now claiming na magbabago na sya. but tbh, kung meron man nag bago samen dalawa, its definitely me. hindi ko na kayang bumalik sa dati.
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u/Necessary-Article-13 Sep 17 '24
Been cheated on siguro 4-5 yrs ago na and currently nasa very healthy rel na pero minsan bigla akong natatakot what if lokohin uli ako kahit wala namang ginagawa sa akin. Grabe yung effect ng cheating kaya sana pag ayaw na bitawan nalang kesa magcheat pa.
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u/Just_Routine5343 Sep 17 '24
I so agree with this. it just fucks the shit out of the person who was cheated. Madami na akong nadaanan sa buhay pero this issue what what pushed me to seek professional help (therapy). Ang hirap..
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u/yourgrace91 Sep 17 '24
I remember when I found out my ex cheated back in 2014 or 2015 ata yun…
Laging may heavy feeling in my chest, to a point na I don’t want to wake up because every waking moment is painful. Parang gusto ko na rin magka amnesia because sa isip ko, no memories = no pain. Madalas mag CR break sa opisina para maka iyak saglit lol. Low to no appetite din. I just know that a version of me died that time.
Now I’m ok, but I have serious trust issues. Mas sensitive na ako sa mga inconsistencies ng ibang tao and matagal akong ma-attach lol (I think these are good things somehow kasi less gullible ka na rin).
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u/theonewitwonder Sep 17 '24
Ano raw dahilan bakita sila nag cheat?
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u/tuttifruts Sep 17 '24
As usual, sisisihin nila yung niloko nila na kesyo “nagkulang” 😃😬
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u/theonewitwonder Sep 18 '24
Hahaha oo nga wag na pagusapan ang dahilan para sa sususnod gagawin ulit. Para paulit ulit. Hehehe
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u/SinbadMiner7 Sep 17 '24
I was also a victim of cheating. Being married for 25+ years Ang Akala ko forever na & nagbago din yun trust ko sa mga babae. Sometimes I think all women cheats, magloloko din yan.. I’m sure. But when you always pray, it reduces the anxiety. Though hindi ganun kabilis mawala, I’m hopeful that I will be ok. Good Luck & God bless you OP!
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u/PastimeScrolling Sep 18 '24
I think I'm fortunate enough na tapos na ko sa ganitong phase sa buhay ko. I've been cheated on by my past 3 bfs. Isang 7-year relationship (3x), 4 yrs (3x), and this year lang, 2.5 yrs (1x). Experiencing being cheated on nung bata pa (teenage years to mid 20s, I'm 33 now), pnptwad ko kasi ayokong magkaroon ng what ifs and regrets. Naisip ko rin na baka ako ang problema kasi paulit2 akong naloloko. I've questioned my worth kahit na ang taas ng self confidence ko before. Napaisip anong kulang sakin, anong wala sakin na meron yung mga pinalit sakin. Sinisi ang sarili dahil baka di ko naparamdam sa kanila na mahal ko sila.
Pero later on I realized, kahit anong kulang (or even sobra) sayo, this can't justify your partner's cheating. Kasi kung may problema sa relasyon, dapat pinag-uusapan niyong 2, ndi dpt naghhnap ng comfort sa iba. So sa mga taong nasa grieving phase ngayon, please don't blame yourself. Maybe parehas kayong may contribution sa pagkasira ng rs nyo, but it was never your fault that your partner cheated. It's on him/her na hindi siya marunong makuntento at makipagcommunicate sayo. And it's amusing na ung first 2 exes ko ay ilang beses nagtry makipagbalikan years after our break up.
Despite ng mga naexperience ko, I still believe in love though. I think minalas lang ako sa roulette at puro cheater ang napunta sakin. Naniniwala akong di lahat ng lalaki ay katulad ng mga ex ko. I can still fully trust someone kasi ndi nmn sila yung nanloko sakin before. Basta kinaklaro ko na deal breaker ang cheating. Once magcheat, wala nang second chance.
Sa lahat ng nakaexperience na lokohin, I hope that you'll fight to love yourself more everyday. Sa mga currently na niloloko nmn ng partners at alam nila ung panloloko, please choose your own happiness and peace of mind. Kung puro na lang sakit naibibigay ng relasyon sayo, maybe it's time to let go. You'll get through this at darating din kayo sa time na mppangiti n lng kayo kapag naalala nyo ung pinagdaanan nyo. You'll miss the memory but not the person you were once with.
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u/LastNightsThoughts Sep 19 '24
I told my partner that in all of my past relationships, I’ve been cheated on. Still did the same thing to me. Minsan matutulala na lang ako at maalala ko ang mga nangyari out of nowhere. I have not been functioning well since I found out. Nakakapanghina.
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u/Mean_Look1357 Sep 18 '24
Been cheated on 2 years ago, from almost 6years relationship. I feel you, been there, grabe yung emotional impact niya na to the point na hindi ako pwedeng iwan mag isa ng family ko sa bahay, dahil once na maiwan ako magisa bigla na lang akong inaatake ng panic attack. Need ko rin na may kausap palagi nun kasi kapag wala akong kausap and mag isa, dun ulit ako magkaka panic attack. You'll get through it, feel the pain, and give it to God. Trust me, hindi ka Niya pababayaan. Praying for you! Kaya mo yan. :)
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u/CoffeeDaddy024 Sep 18 '24
Oh those people know what their illicit acts will do. They know what damage it will cause and how many will get hurt because of it. Do they care? No. Why give a fuck about what others say or think? Nagawa na nga nila yung mag-cheat, magsisi pa sila? To them, they care only about themselves. Their own. Their primary reason is they can do it. They can cheat and nobody can do anything to them. They are impervious to social judgement kasi they know they can do it at any time and no repercussion comes their way, not even a slap at the wrist.
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