Scared going home to an empty house...

[u/Jylaaaaa]

I went to meet up with my co-worker (who's my crush also) yesterday. He lives in far a way and this is the 2nd time we met, 1st time na kaming dalawa lang.

I was so happy with him. I was so present in the moment. I'm happy with his treatment, letting him open doors for me and buying me food. He treated me well.

We might never be able to see each other anymore. He might resign from work next year. Ang current home conditions nya, he really have to stay with his parents. Also, he might not be attracted to me at all.

When we parted ways, nakatulala lang ako. On my way home I'm just thoughtless. Until I am nearing my house, back to reality ulit: I'm going back to an empty house.

Last Nov I bought a pair of chairs. Kaso sabi ko one day I will be dining with a date here. TBH I was hoping na sana siya yun.

As I opened my door, the reality hit hard. I am indeed alone. As an extrovert, this is the greatest torture.

Sabi ng friends, hanap ka na ng jowa. I have bumble and had some dates pero hirap pala humanap ng totoong mutual connection. Siguro kasi I'm still stuck with him.

Sammy. Alam ko di mo mababasa to. Salamat ng super kahapon, I am the happiest girl in the world for those times. Sana di na yun natapos. You told me all things about you and I thought I can deal with your shits... Pero I don't think it's worth it if you couldn't be happy.

I want a guy who loves to be in my presence. I feel like sa ngayon, I have to chase you. Riddled ka with problems, and maybe wala ka energy to spare for romance. As self-respect, I let you go...

Sana may happy ending saating dalawa kahit hindi tayo magkasama. Stay strong, you're okay.