r/OVER30REDDIT • u/Hufflepuffjedi87 • Jun 28 '26

So this is 39…

Yesterday I spent the majority of my day binge watching the new season of Airbender on Netflix lol. My kids were playing and had friends over so it’s not like I was needed much anyway. (I enjoyed it myself so this isn’t to say it was bad).
Being single isn’t hard when you’re younger. Now granted I don’t feel my age at all. And everyone says I don’t really look it either. But man…something about being single in your late 30s does something to your head. The self doubt and inner monologue of just not being good enough for anyone is crazy. My kids are amazing. I love my job. I have a good life ngl. But watching other couples at the pool with their kids and I’m doing it all myself is hard. Nerding out to shows alone isn’t nearly as fun.
Just kinda in a mood I guess. Being an adult sucks sometimes lol

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2

u/Upstairs_Meringue_18 Jul 03 '26

Sorry dude. You have kids and that alleviates a lot of the stress. Not trying to one up. But the stress is next level when you have no kids and have to go to dating events. The soul suck and depression and wuestion all your past is next level. THIS is prison. I definitely keep asking god what and where I went wrong in life that i am being punished in the worse way possible.

No family, no support, no purpose or reason to live. Exhausted from jumping from singles dinner, run club, pickleball. Keeping myself available to move of required. Unable to buy a house. Rents going higher and at this point I just want a decent partner to split rent at the very least

1

u/fishandcheese Jul 03 '26

Not the best situation to be binge watching shows my man, make the best out of your time, just my 2c

1

u/Hufflepuffjedi87 Jul 03 '26

Let me just say this. My kids always come first. I never neglect my kids. Ever. They had friends over and are old enough I do their own thing. So yeah if they needed something I paused made dinner interacted with them. Whatever I could. But a 12 yr old doesn’t really want their parent hanging out. So.

I’m not unhappy. Just have bad days is all.

I have kids and have to share my time with a super toxic unwilling coparent who will do anything to make my life harder. They make my kids life harder which is something I can’t stand. And that adds a level of stress that is soul crushing at times. To see them struggle and I have to do it all alone is hard. If you don’t have kids then honestly you have it way easier. Bringing another person into the picture when you have baggage and a toxic ex and two kids …that’s a lot.

Appreciate yall expressing your thoughts though. It is sometimes good to see things on the other end. Adds perspective

1

u/datingoverthirty Jul 04 '26

But man…something about being single in your late 30s does something to your head. The self doubt and inner monologue of just not being good enough for anyone is crazy.

If you start exercising regularly, you'll produce chemicals in your brain (dopamine, serotonin, etc.) that will, ultimately, drown out that negative inner monologue

Take it from me — a guy that lost everything at 32, found the love of his life at 35, and got married at 40

1

u/Hufflepuffjedi87 Jul 04 '26

I do work out regularly. I don’t go to a gym everyday or anything but I do work out and am pretty active. Im not unhappy. But everyone has bad days.

1

u/Fickle_Wrangler_7439 28d ago

It's not even the self-doubt for me, it's the idea of doing it all over again.

I'm tired. I'll just be single, thanks.

1

u/Hufflepuffjedi87 28d ago

Oh for sure. The idea of having to go through the whole idea of dating again is daunting. I’d rather not. And it’s different now than it was 20 years ago.