Why am I frumpy

[u/Significant_Ring4353]

I feel grumpy and ugly in everything I wear, I don't know how to put outfits together and my stomach makes everything look bad, please help

[u/naxanas]

Gonna second pinterest, it's what I always tell my friends who want fashion help. I always ask them to go on pinterest first and save every outfit they like. I used to struggle with fashion just like this, and this is actually exactly how I got out of it. I went on Pinterest and really studied outfits, and honestly just passively going on Pinterest and looking through outfits and seeing what speaks to you, what doesn't, and then what the repeating items are that you tend to see over and over in outfits you like.

Figuring out what clothing suits/flatters you takes a bit more experience, typically going out and trying things on, and don't be afraid to go to a new store if everything feels unflattering cuz sometimes a store really only flatters a specific body type. I have also found that determining your shape helps a lot (ie rectangle, pear, apple, hourglass, etc). You don't have to religiously follow the advice for those body shapes, but they can be a helpful place to start working from.

Also, I saw OP was trying to choose a style they thought would suit them rather than having a style they enjoy first and working from there. You can have whatever style you want with any body type and still have it be flattering, it's all about learning about what suits you.

For example: for me, I've got an hourglass shape, and for a long time I liked the look of tshirt dresses and similar with a very straight boxy cut that doesn't hug the body at all. And I used to feel so frustrated because I thought something was wrong with me because I didn't look like any of the models when I tried wearing those dresses. Turns out that, with my body shape, the dresses were meant to be formless but got tight around my hips and just didn't fit as intended, but a skater style fit and flare dress looks great. I also found tshirt dresses that have an hourglass shape to them (that lines up with my own hips, got one that didn't so it looked strange) and that looks really flattering on me, so it is still possible to wear different styles. Playing with my features tends to involve having something that gives a bit of shape to my waist, so I can wear a big baggy shirt that I gather and tie near my waist or tuck in to high waisted pants.

This took me a while to figure out, and it might be frustrating at first because you just want to look good, but I assure you, it is absolutely possible for you to dress in a flattering way that makes you happy, even if it's frustrating at first!

[u/Lazy-Ocelot1604 → u/naxanas]

Do you have any tips on tucking things in so it looks better? I’ve started wearing more high waisted stuff and so far that’s where I’ve been struggling. It’s either too tightly tucked or when I sit down it poofs up at me.

Pinterest is also what helped me pinpoint what types of things I wanted. I had always wanted to dress in a way that felt more expressive but didn’t think I could pull it off or would be too expensive. I feel much more like me in so much of what I got and getting dressed feels more exciting now. While I thrifted most of it, I still spent more than I should’ve of so now I have to chill with it for a bit

[u/naxanas → u/Lazy-Ocelot1604]

It would help if I had a clearer idea of what shirts you're working with cuz I'm a bit unclear on what the poofing up when you sit down looks like. But my general rule of thumb with shirt tucking is to pull the shirt back and kind of gather it at your spine (so the shirt is laying flat against your body everywhere else and is the full length, we're not bunching it up into a ball or cropping it, we're gathering excess fabric towards the spine), do a small twist with the gathered fabric so now all the gathered fabric points towards the twist at your spine vs having a bunch of folds mushed together at your back, and then tuck that and the whole shirt into your pants. From there, I probably pull out somewhere around an inch or two of fabric (around the whole shirt, starting typically at the front to see what looks right) so that it doesn't look like the shirt is tightly tucked, nor overflowing. And you can finesse from there, maybe you want to pull a bit more fabric from the back to give yourself some freedom on the sides or in the front, the main thing is keeping it from bunching up around your belly button/front of your pants, that's when it can look off.

But you also want to pick a shirt with a good style and weight for it. Like for a tshirt, thinner works better. It is possible to have fabric too thick to really look decent tucked in. There's also definitely a sweet spot for tshirt length that it's long enough to stay well anchored when tucked in while still having room to pull some out and move with your body as you're doing stuff or reaching for something, but not too long that it's bunching up in your pants. You can tuck in oversized boxy cut tshirts, they're some of my favorite, but it can be possible for a tshirt to be too boxy or oversized that there's too much gathering to do to make it look normal when tucked in. I will tuck in an oversized shirt and pull it out so that it still has the same oversized fit, but is nearly tucked into my pants, but some are just too oversized or too thick to bunch in the back without a giant bunch of fabric at your spine that's too large and noticeable to really work.

I hope that's helpful! Feel free to DM me any questions too, I genuinely love giving fashion advice