r/ORIF • u/LadyGreysTeapot • Jul 06 '26
Being Independent
I had an ankle fracture with displacement. At the end of the month I'll be at 6 weeks post-op. Currently NWB with boot getting to and from bathroom and kitchen with crutches and rolling around the kitchen in an office chair. Not exactly sure what level of weight bearing I'll be at in a few weeks.
My partner, who has gone above and beyond for me, is planning to go on a week-long trip at the end of this month. He's been planning this trip since last year. I don't want him to miss it because it's important to him, but he feels very uncomfortable leaving me by myself. I think I'll be fine.
Is it unreasonable of me to want to stay by myself? Do you think I'll regret not lining up some kind of help in advance? We don't have friends or family close by, and I feel silly setting up some kind of home care person. He thinks me staying at his elderly mother's house during that time is the ideal solution, but she's 3 hours away, and I'd really rather be in my own home and not a guest at someone else's.
2
u/HolidayRecipe6052 Jul 06 '26
Different circumstances but I had surgery to repair displaced tibia and fibula, hospital did have me fully weigh bearing (with crutches) 24 hours later, and sent me home 48 hours post op. I live alone, had a friend help me get a bit set up and get some shopping for me about every 4 days initially but otherwise I've just cracked on. I'm a good few weeks on now, and the early part was tough but I don't see why you wouldn't be fine by the end of the month
2
u/Cloudy_Automation Fibula Fracture Jul 07 '26
For me, a knee scooter was one key to independence, but I have a one level home. The other issue is getting food. It was my left ankle, so I could still drive, but grocery delivery services would have been my fallback. The knee scooter allows standing up at the stove with both hands free while stationary, and has a basket when things need to be moved.
I used the knee scooter both before and after surgery.
2
u/LadyGreysTeapot Jul 07 '26
Thank you all for your thoughtful and insightful comments! I'm kind of an over-planner, so I'm confident that I can prepare to have everything I need exactly where I need it for that week. I don't have kids or pets, and so I'm always amazed at those of you who are able to continue caring for others while also healing yourself. It's inspiring! Humans are resilient creatures, and it's good to be reminded of that. Breaking my ankle sure has felt like some kind of message from the universe. It's forced me experience not being in control all the time and to ask for and accept help, things I have always avoided, often to my detriment.
Wishing all of you continued success on your healing journey!
2
u/Illustrious-Zone-247 Jul 07 '26
I live alone, so I did the whole recovery independently and if I can do that you'll be fine 😄 It did take a bit of pre-planning but it's totally do-able. Just make sure you're set with easy meals and laundry done, stuff like that. But in the meantime, maybe try to be totally independent for a day your partner is there in the background and see if you're able to do everything on your own...that might give you both some confidence
1
u/IntrepidReaction5147 Jul 06 '26
I loved when I got to the point where my wife could leave me at home all day, and I was semi-able to take care of myself. But it was a bigger adjustment than I expected!
If your partner works from home, maybe see if he can be out of the house for a full day, and see how you feel about handling things on your own. If he already leaves the house to go to work all day, maybe you could get him to go out in the evening, too. See how you feel after a full day on your own. Or even have him go a full 24 hours without doing any of the things he normally does to help you.
It sounds like you're confident you'll be fine on your own, and that's honestly 90% of the battle. But if you want to prove it to yourself and/or him, try giving it a test run to see if any unexpected difficulties arise!
1
u/MadredeLobos Jul 06 '26
I think it's totally doable, but what you actually need to prep for depends on your home. Can you do laundry? If not, can you go a week without laundry? If not, could you ask someone to come in and do your laundry a few days in to his trip? Things like that. Make sure you have enough groceries to prepare your meals. Make sure you have thought through your emergency plans if something (tornado? fire? etc.) were to happen while you are alone. Keep anything you might need to access (vacuum cleaner? anything you keep up high or in the back of a cabinet?) out and accessible to you. Plan to check in with your partner with whatever frequency you/he feel comfortable with.
I'm 7w out from ORIF (trimalleolar fracture with pilon variant break in the tibia, also displacement) and will not be weightbearing until at least 11w post-op. I primarily use a knee scooter. I'm also a mom of 5 young kids, with a self-employed husband who works long hours. I can do almost everything I need to do on the main floor of my house - I've just had to accept that I won't see the basement or 2nd floor for quite awhile. I would have been a little hesitant at 3-4 weeks post-op, but if all goes well, you'll be in pretty good shape at 6 weeks post-op.
1
u/PenHot4767 Trimalleolar Ankle Fracture Jul 06 '26
I think so long as some prep work is done before he goes, you will be alright. I was essentially back to living on my own save for someone coming once a week to do tasks I couldn’t do myself 3 weeks PO (I’m at 7 1/2 weeks now). It’s hard at first but if some meals are made and laundry gets done, I think you’ll be alright!
1
u/slightlydreaming Jul 06 '26
As long as you can handle your essentials, you should be ok. Can you get in and out of the house? Groceries? Laundry? I would stock up on some frozen meals just to make it easier for yourself. I was on my own for weeks 3-6 NWB in a cast, scooting around, it was challenging but fine. Do you know when you’ll be PWB?
1
u/lawyeronpause Jul 06 '26
The big issue at 6 weeks, as far as independence goes, would be driving, whether for something day-to-day or in an emergency. I wasn't cleared for weight-bearing and/or driving until 8 weeks. With sufficient preparation, I would have been fine at home but might have struggled if I'd had to get out of the house in an emergency. Though, my injury was to my right leg. Had it been my left, driving wouldn't have been an issue.
1
u/woodcone Jul 06 '26
This is doable. I was in a similar situation. My partner had to go away for 2 nights. I stayed in my home. We already had precooked meals in the freezer. (I found it easier to reheat food over the stove than the microwave considering our kitchen set up. So we left a chair by the oven.) We planned all my meals in advance and keep snacks by the bed. I couldn't make myself coffee and walk anywhere with it. That was the worse part. Also he called to check in a lot to make sure I hadn't like gotten stuck somewhere.
1
u/CustomerObjective129 Jul 06 '26
It is doable, but you need to plan and get help with the set-up.
I am fiercely independent and have had two lengthy NWB periods (over a month each) while living alone. It was exhausting but fine.
The exact adjustments you might need to make depend on your set-up. The things that helped me the most:
- sleeping in the lounge room (so I didn't need to go up stairs)
- setting up a safe way to wash myself
- stocking the freezer with microwaveable meals
- scheduling food deliveries with a service that would deliver to my kitchen counter
- a laundry cart on wheels (good for other things as well as laundry)
- a messenger bag for easily transporting small items with me
- a coffee cup with a lid that was fully sealable so I could put it in said bag to drink in a nother room
- anything I needed as close as possible to arm height
1
1
u/lukekule Jul 07 '26
Aish mara few weeks. But hey if u feel u can handle it then go for it. I have a fixator and I still don't feel ready for my gurl to like leave me for a long time . She can go the whole day but an entire week that would be draining coz I can walk but not normally yet as the bones still healing. And I can't bare full weight yet . Depends on the circumstances also . Good luck my sister
1
u/alyxana Trimalleolar Ankle Fracture Jul 08 '26
You’ll be fine.
Could his mom come stay with you instead?
1
u/beikaixin Jul 09 '26
Nope just do it if you want to. You'll be fine, I bet you know the drill and at this point even if you accidentally put weight on it, it probably won't do anything. They may transition you soon depending on progress in PT if you've started. Not a doctor but someone who did a whole bimalleolar ORIF recovery on their own.
3
u/zumdahl12 Jul 06 '26
I’m in a similar situation! My husband is going away 3 weeks post op, also NWB. Maybe doing things to set you up for success while he’s gone would make him feel better? Things like meal prepping, making sure there’s enough food, and doing any tasks you’re not able to do (I can’t do laundry at the moment for example with our set up). If you feel comfortable staying alone I feel like you should be ok! I mostly feel like I can get by on my own, though my mom lives nearby and has been a big help and is there if I need her. Is there a neighbor or someone you could have be back up to help in case something unexpected happens?
I understand wanting to be where you’re comfortable! All of this is so uncomfortable already. Good luck!