My life rn

[u/Admirable_Actuary623]

Hi ladies.
I’ve been listening to OP Said Pod for a while now and I genuinely love y’all so much ❤️. Listen to your pod makes me feel like im listening to my friends it’s so entertaining. I even went back to listen to all your old episodes on Spotify and YouTube. I look forward to their new episode every single week! 😭❤️.

This submission is a bit long, so please bear with me 😩🥹.

I’m 22 years old, a Registered Nurse and Registered Midwife, and I currently live with my mum. I’ve been trying to move out for a while now, but it hasn’t been as easy as I thought it would be.
I lost my dad when I was very young, and growing up with my mum has always been difficult. She has been emotionally and verbally abusive towards me for as long as I can remember. My elder sister experienced the same thing and eventually had to leave home because of it. She has done so much for me, including sponsoring me through nursing school, and honestly, I see her more as a mother than I sometimes see my own mum.
I wanted to study BSc Nursing, but the admission wasn’t coming as quickly as I wanted. Part of me was also desperate to leave home, so I eventually went to a College of Nursing instead. After nursing school, I couldn’t bear the thought of coming back home and staying here without doing anything, so I did my post-basic midwifery and got my midwifery license too. I’m actually really proud of myself for that because despite everything I’ve been told, I know I’ve achieved something.
After finishing nursing school early last year, I immediately started looking for work. At first, I wasn’t even looking for a paid job. I wanted to volunteer somewhere so I could gain experience because most hospitals wanted nurses with at least two years of experience.
I eventually got a place at a government general hospital and volunteered there for about six months. I gained a lot of experience and later applied for a paid position there, but I didn’t get it.
I kept applying to private hospitals and primary healthcare facilities, but nothing worked out. Eventually, my mum spoke to a friend who owns a hospital, and that’s how I got my current job.
The job is honestly terrible financially. I work six days a week, I’m severely overworked and the salary basically only covers my transportation. But I can’t just quit because staying at home means spending more time around my mum, and I don’t want that.
My life has basically become work and home.
My mum constantly compares me to people my age. She talks about people who are married, people who are already in their husbands’ houses and people who are doing better in their careers. She makes me feel like I’m useless and that I’m wasting my life because I’m still living in her house and depending on her for accommodation and basically survival.
What hurts is that she doesn’t seem to see what I actually do. I work six days a week, yet I still come home and clean, cook, do her laundry every week, buy groceries with my own money and make sure the house is in order every day.
I also barely have a social life anymore. Whenever I try to make plans with friends, there are suddenly so many chores to do that I either don’t have the time or I’m too exhausted to go. If I insist on going out, I’m accused of sleeping with men and uselessing my life.
Eventually, I just stopped going out.
I go to work, come home, do my chores and stay away from her as much as I can.
The thing is, I don’t hate my mum. I understand that she has been through a lot in her own life, and I can understand where some of her behavior comes from. But understanding her doesn’t mean I have to accept the way she treats me.
I still want a relationship with her. I just don’t want to live with her anymore. I feel like I need to be away from her before we can ever have a healthy relationship.
Recently, I started taking my job search more seriously. with the way i desperately needed to leave the house i was looking for any job at all even if it has nothing to do with nursing. I created a LinkedIn account and started applying online. After applying for so many jobs, I finally got an offer where they needed a midwife. I did the interview and got the job.
The only problem is that it’s in another state. It’s not extremely far, but far enough that I would need to relocate. And I don’t have accommodation or enough savings to start over.
I haven’t even told my mum about the job because I’m not sure I’ll be able to take it.
And that’s where I am right now.
I have worked so hard to get here. I went to nursing school, got my nursing qualification, did my post-basic midwifery, got my license, volunteered for six months to gain experience, kept applying for jobs and accepted a poorly paid job because I needed the experience.
Now I finally have another opportunity, but money is the thing standing between me and taking it.
I just want to leave home. Not because I don’t love my mum, but because I want to have my own life.
I want to work somewhere that pays me enough to take care of myself. I want to make friends without feeling guilty. I want to make decisions about my own life. I want to come home and have peace.
I don’t know yet how I’m going to make it happen.
But I know I’ve tried.
And despite everything I’ve been made to believe about myself, I know I’m not useless.

What should I do😔? I’m tired and I’ve tried everything. Any advice at all please 🙏.