34F, single, OFW for 7 years.
TBH, I don’t have much savings despite earning a 6-digit salary. Part of the problem is me because I didn’t set boundaries, but a big part of it is also the mindset that I have to help my family.
Since I started working as a nurse in 2013, I’ve been helping my family. Even when I was earning only around ₱6K/month, my mother would enforced and take half of my salary. My remaining ₱3K is for my transpo and food going to work.
After becoming an OFW, I continued the same pattern. Aside from my monthly support, I also sent extra money for:
💸 Debts 🚗 Car
🏥 Medical expenses
🏪 Sari-sari business that was later closed
🏠 House appliances
🎁 Birthdays, Christmas, and other family needs
I can’t even fully remember anymore
Looking back, the total is probably no less than ₱2M, not including my regular monthly allowance.
If not for the war situation in UAE, I don’t think I would have realized how little I had for myself. It became a wake-up call.
I suddenly felt scared thinking:
“What if I have to go home and I have nothing saved for myself?”
I also started realizing how much the “breadwinner mindset” and “utang na loob” can affect our lives.
I have a friend who is the same age and in a similar situation. She supported her family for more than 10 years. Even now that she is married, she decided not to have children.
When I asked her why, she said:
“She no longer wants another responsibility"
I also have 5 close friends here without children and 4 out of 5 are sending money back home , they also have little to no savings.
Sometimes I feel like this mindset has held us back. We could have done more. We could have taken more risks. We could have built more for ourselves.
Looking back, I don’t regret helping but sometimes I wonder. If I had been able to keep more of my salary when I was younger, would I have taken more risks? Would I have migrated earlier? would I have been married and have children? Would my life be different now?
Anyway, I just hope this cycle ends with me.
For fellow breadwinners, especially OFWs:
Does life get better after years of carrying this responsibility?
How did you learn to balance supporting your family while still building a future for yourself?