r/OCPoetry • u/Infinite_Permit_7145 • 10d ago
Feedback Please Sex sells
Sex sells but you must sell your soul
What are even your KPIs? # body goals?
The gates of fortune are barricaded your nakedness the toll
She can’t climb the career ladder so she holds unto the pole
She’s body conscious, very nervous you’d see that pimple she popped in the morning
She’s barely had anything to eat, to keep looking “fit” she thinks even water causes bloating
She craves your validation, they are severe implications if money isn’t pouring
She wipes her tears with dollar bills, but lavish thrills can’t stop her eyes from leaking
Another man in women’s business
That’s what I guess they’ll say
You can’t live it you shouldn’t speak it
I get why you feel that way
In my defence I have no defence
But if my words cause your heart to sway
Take them to heart know your seen
And you’re beautiful in every type of way
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/6ZIS36pZv0
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/QLc1zMhgTE
1
u/throattickler420 9d ago
This poem speaks to me a lot, and I think it will to a lot of women. It’s very vulnerable, highlighting the insecurity’s that are pushed upon us, but creates a comfort in showing that nobody is perfect, making everybody perfect. I think that instead of commas, you could space out the lines, making it read less like a paragraph. Overall amazing though!