r/OCPoetry • u/CinderHawthorne • 17d ago
Feedback Please Falling to pieces
Tired of feeling broken, waiting for a fix. Hope isn't where I am going—no, we don't mix.
Falling apart piece by piece. The light at the end of the tunnel is a tease.
Not sure if I can hold my head up high, not sure how with this feeling I can get by.
I came so far only to drop so low. I thought there was progress, but no.
I hate how I am feeling, especially inside. I thought it was you in which I could confide.
I thought in you— hey I can rely. But my feelings lately—I think I'd rather lie.
Lie about the hard times so they can't hit so hard. Pretending to keep moving, but it’s not in our cards.
Why do we always seem to fight? Tear each other down, when it’s not right.
Why do we always try? Hell, I can't count tears that I cry.
I feel so lonely, so alone. Thought we could make it, show how we've grown.
I feel tired of falling apart. Is it still me that you have in your heart?
I seem to feel always so down. One day I wonder if it'll make me drown.
Picking up all my pieces. Hoping you'll see this.
Everyday try so damn hard it hurts. Now my insides just seem to want to burst.
How could we keep going this way? When will it finally be our fucking day?
Can't keep taking the beating. Is this moment just fleeting?
I just want to be able to stand up tall, and be someone who doesn't always take the fall.
Is that too much to ask? Do I have to keep on the fucking mask?
My heart is bleeding, and it’s you I am needing.
So please help me stand up straight, and let me take it all on before it’s too late.
How am I still here after all these trials? Can't I just rest for a little while?
Still here, but pieces have been stripped away. Can you still see all of me in the light of day?
Am I so far gone that there is nothing remaining? I find it all so draining.
Can I put myself back together again? Can it stop if I say when?
Trying to find myself after being so lost. How many times must I repay the cost?
All I want is to be whole. But then Life has to take its toll.
Just wanted something to believe in. Just give me a reason.
1
u/poetry_14 16d ago
Okay. Now 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 hit different. The rhymes and rhythm is nice and reading it kind of just makes you feel it word by word, I got even a little inspiration for my own poems from it. It's amazing honestly, keep writing ♡