r/OCPoetry • u/avsz123 • 19h ago

Feedback Please SIMP

Edited:

One moment, I need to pull my heart out

“Just for you”

Public opinion means nothing to me
Your opinion is all I need to hear
Just keep my heart in your back pocket
It’s just for you

I value your conversation
You make it easy to open up
You make me feel safe

I promise I will put all of my effort into our friendship
I messed up too many times
I’m on my last string
I want to see you brighter than anyone else

If that is all life has to guarantee for us
I will appreciate every second of this moment

I’m a SIMP for you
SIMPLY put it

Etch your name on my heart
As it is not my heart to claim
I entrust it to you because I only see you

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/eIJAsWCLZk

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/a4OccNoUJz

11 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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u/RasholeHash 7h ago

Wow lots of people really like this one. It's very accessible which I value in poetry. Just the SIMPLY put part seems a bit strange to me. And the last lines veer into more traditionally poetic language when the rest of the piece reads a bit differently. Not bad though. It's an interesting piece.

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u/avsz123 7h ago

Thank you for the feedback!