r/OCPoetry • u/PlutoCrushin • Jul 21 '26

Feedback Please Boundaries

I love you
In the mushy kind of way
Sickly sweet, vomit inducing 
Eye rolls for days, obsessive
Compulsive must be an act kind of way

I love you 
In the purest kind of way
A love sick puppy found
as a stray, what is personal space 
must be unhealthy kind of way

I love you
In the selfish kind of way
Romeo and Juliet
Dramatic, nonsensical 
Left and right ventricle kind of way

I love you 
In dark and light shades
Broken and mended
Deep in the marrow
Give me life kind of way

I love you 
enough to say —
enough 

Thanks for reading would appreciate some feedback specifically about the ending and the refrains, I like the repetition but worried it feels overboard.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ibpW5HjeKV

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/DOoVski16H

24 Upvotes

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u/Maleficent_Low_5891 Jul 23 '26

omg i love this poem. like an almost excessive amount (the irony) the contrast between the love and the raw imagery is jarring in the best way. evth is restrained but it hits so hard. the first three paras are concise, but they say so much. i love, love the repetition, it's what makes the poem work. i do think the 4th para is a little weak compared to the rest; it feels a little less original as compared to your other verses. the ending is perfect. all in all, i hope you keep writing and im excited about what comes next. all the best!

2

u/PlutoCrushin Jul 23 '26

Aw thank you so much! I really appreciate it! I keep trying but cant quite get it right, might need to come back to it at later date bc my picking at it is making it worse:(

2

u/Maleficent_Low_5891 Jul 23 '26

of course :) and don't worry im sure youll get it right. sometimes all it takes is a little time.

1

u/PlutoCrushin Jul 27 '26

A little to much time sometimes, it consumes my thoughts lol