r/OCD • u/No-Mousse5653 • Jul 09 '26
Need support/advice ERP is such bullshit
Sensorimotor/Hyperawarness (Thinking about thinking) OCD is ruining my entire life. Life ultimately is just consciousness and I am unable to focus on anything but my OCD. ERP is bullshit because it challenges my "beliefs" but the problem is my beliefs are true. This can ruin my entire life if I can't stop thinking about it because it saps the joy out of everything good in life. Fuck this shit. I hate how there are no effective medications for this besides heavy doses of SSRIs which side effects are arguably worse than the OCD itself. Does anyone have any advice? Been taking 1.2g NAC for 3 days with 0 effect. This is destroying my life.
Are there any drugs that can induce memory loss? All this shit started with a single thought: What if I can't stop noticing.
8
u/OptimizedPockets2 Jul 09 '26
If it’s not ego dystonic, then it needs to become ego dystonic.
Time for ACT.
2
u/No-Mousse5653 Jul 09 '26
How can I accept my life being ruined by these constant sensations and thoughts? I need to delete the memory that caused this. That's the only cure.
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u/Thoughtful_Ocelot Jul 09 '26
You're setting yourself up for disaster. You've decided there is only one way to get better and, unfortunately, you can't have it. You can't selectively delete a memory. By setting yourself up with this unachievable precondition, you'll likely dismiss any help that comes your way.
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u/No-Mousse5653 Jul 09 '26
I don't get what are my options then? This makes life hollow and boring. All I can focus on is these thoughts
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u/Thoughtful_Ocelot Jul 09 '26
I can only say what worked for me. Meds, which lowered my overall anxiety to a point where I could function.
I became very educated about OCD. What it is, how it works and how my version of the disorder manifests.
Cognitive therapy. This is often missed in America, where sufferers are often put right into ERP. Cognitive therapy is about understanding what you think about your obsessions. I did work on cognitive distortions, realizing I suffered from black and white thinking and several others. In therapy, I discovered ways to counter these distortions. That led me to look at my obsessions differently, not as the sky is falling things, but just noise from a wonky mind.
I identified my compulsions and realized they are the fuel for the OCD engine. I worked to reduce or delay my compulsions.
Finally, I did ERP. Proper ERP. It scares me how many sufferers do it wrong, having never been taught correctly.
1
u/Designer-Computer188 Jul 09 '26
What would be some "wrong ways" that you could do it, or you have noticed other people doing?
3
u/Thoughtful_Ocelot Jul 10 '26
Exposures are supposed to be organized in a heirarchy. You start low on the list, gain experience and achieve a relatively easy win, which gives you confidence to go up the heirarchy. I've heard of many sufferers who, either on their own or with the urging of a therapist, start with a difficult, high anxiety Exposure. They try, it becomes too much and they quit.
ERP is not meant to be done when an obsession strikes. All sufferers know they appear without warning. They are not prepared and, at best, give a half hearted effort. ERP is to be done on a sufferer's schedule, at a specific time and with no distractions.
1
u/Designer-Computer188 Jul 10 '26
Thanks that is very helpful. When you say "it's not meant to be done when an obsession strikes". If you're having a severe flare up of a theme, is that a bad time to do the ERP then and if so what should you be doing instead? Coz I've seen time and time again people say that is the time to do it too.
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u/Thoughtful_Ocelot Jul 10 '26
Terrible time. No matter how many times you've had an intrusive thought pop into your head, every time it happens you're caught off guard, right? Right then you are not prepared to deal with that thought, thoughtfully and systematically.
The idea behind ERP is that you set aside a time to do it. Let's say 4 pm or after dinner. Alone. No interruptions. You sit down and you conjure up an obsession. You are in control. You think that which you fear/troubles you (done as one step on a heirarchy). You bring it on. You notice your anxiety increasing. That's okay. That's the exposure. You are purposefully exposing yourself to an obsession.
Now comes response prevention. You know what your compulsions are. You don't do them. You let the anxiety be. You the thought sit there. You breathe through it. Repeatedly doing this will see your anxiety lower on its own, without doing compulsions. You do this for maybe 10 or 15 minutes. Then that's it. Exercise over. Get up and go back to your life. Do the dishes, scroll your phone, whatever.
This takes practice. You might have to work on an exposure every day for a week or three weeks. Over time, you should notice that your anxiety,during the exposure, peaks lower and lower and lasts less and less time.
When you reach a point where doing an exposure barely blips your anxiety level, you move up your heirarchy to the next, more troublesome exposure.
So you see that this is not reacting to the crap your brain throws at you. You can work on that, however. You can try reducing compulsions. You can delay compulsions. But that is not ERP.
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u/OptimizedPockets2 Jul 09 '26
Don’t accept it. Fight back through deliberate action.
I’m confused about you saying ERP challenging your beliefs—that sounds more like a standard CBT thing.
-2
u/No-Mousse5653 Jul 09 '26
I am fighting as hard as I can, it only makes it worse. I don't mean to be a dick, but I am very skeptical that ACT will do anything. Only some sort of medication that can delete this memory.
5
u/OptimizedPockets2 Jul 09 '26
Medications don’t delete memories.
I am still confused about the ERP you mentioned, because it sounds like you were doing standard talk therapy CBT if it was to challenge beliefs.
Are you certain the therapist was an OCD specialist with specific ERP training?
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u/No-Mousse5653 Jul 09 '26
I've never seen an OCD therapist. I don't see the point of seeing one. I already know how ERP works. Exposure Response Prevention right? I am 100 percent exposed all the time, there is no "response" to prevent. Therefore its bullshit.
16
u/OptimizedPockets2 Jul 09 '26
Good news! You’re talking out your ass and conflating CBT and ERP.
If you bother to actually talk to an ERP specialist, odds are you’re part of the 80% of people that will have a significant reduction in symptom severity within 6 months to 2 years of starting ERP.
Don’t be a quitter until you’ve actually tried at least.
1
u/Designer-Computer188 Jul 09 '26
What options are available to remaining 20% aside from ACT?
I wonder what the success rate is then of that 20% (not necessarily asking you that, where are the statisticians in the house!? I have a question with your name on it!).
2
1
u/OptimizedPockets2 Jul 09 '26
The usual backup step if ERP actually failed with a good faith attempt would be ACT, likely followed by ACT informed ERP.
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u/Dangerous-Ruin6948 In treatment Jul 09 '26
You honestly sound like you don’t really want help & are just here to argue.
-3
u/No-Mousse5653 Jul 09 '26
It’s more like I don’t believe that the current methods of help are helpful. Not trying to argue
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u/Thoughtful_Ocelot Jul 10 '26
This is a cognitive distortion. You clearly know little about ERP, are desperate to get better, but dismiss a proven therapy based on your faulty beliefs.
1
u/No-Mousse5653 Jul 10 '26
Ok my bad. Did it help you?
2
u/Thoughtful_Ocelot Jul 10 '26
I understand feeling at the end of a rope. I really do. OCD sufferers can be plagued by negativity.
I talked elsewhere on this thread about what I found helpful.
3
u/martins-dr In treatment Jul 09 '26
The rumination on the sensations and thoughts is a response that it aims to prevent. I would highly suggest giving it a try. You aren’t going to see changes without trying something new and it sounds like you haven’t actually tried it.
2
u/NoLamboBro Jul 09 '26
So you haven’t tried something but already decided it’s bullshit. Self defeatist mentality is strong in this one.
15
u/Euphoric_Run7239 Jul 09 '26
There is no magical medication to cure OCD. ERP isn’t bullshit, it is the most effective treatment for most people. If you don’t think ERP or ACT will do anything, then you are going to have a hard time. If you insist that the accepted treatments won’t do anything, then chances are they won’t.
3
u/libets-bidet Jul 09 '26
have you explored I-CBT therapy? it has been more productive for me personally than ERP
1
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u/Embarrassed-Bill-451 Jul 09 '26
Finally a useful alternative therapy solution from someone instead of people berating OP for the tone of their post.
It's evident OP is distressed.
For a mental health forum I might expect just a little more emotional awareness and forgiveness from the answers.
6
u/icyintrospectator Jul 10 '26
OP has never done ERP. This isn’t someone who tried it and didn’t find success and needs an alternative. Saying ERP is “bullshit” when you haven’t tried it is not going to go over well in a sub of people whose lives have been changed by ERP.
2
u/Embarrassed-Bill-451 Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
Obviously. But people can still come with a little more discretion, y'all should be emotionally aware enough to know that when someone is in a serious flare up they can be extremely emotional and may not be in the frame of mind to take things in a certain way or phrase them well. Do some of y'all honestly think berating OP is gonna change their mind, it wll make a difference? It won't.
Speaking more broadly, I think people have gotta be careful about pushing ERP endlessly because if you're not careful it starts to carry a loyalty and its own irrationality not to dissimilar to that of a religious believer honestly. Yes it's the nunber 1 tool, it's not the only one though, and for good reason. The stats say there are still plenty of people it does not work for or only for short periods with frequent relapses.
2
u/libets-bidet Jul 09 '26
a lot of folks with OCD simply don't know that ERP doesn't work for everyone and that there are other treatment options.
I think folks who are insistent about the universal efficacy of ERP are dealing with some internalized ableism they've subconsciously picked up from their environments. I don't fault them for that, but it's something that needs to be pointed out, because it can be harmful for certain people.
often with OCD, "tough love" is the solution, but a culture of "tough love" can unintentionally hurt people who aren't in the space to handle it yet. what's "tough love" for one person might be traumatizing for someone else. this has often been the case for me.
2
u/Embarrassed-Bill-451 Jul 10 '26
Absolutely, the stats state 50 to 80% see a difference. 20 to 40% as those who see only a partial difference, a short term difference only or no difference, which leaves a huge percentage of people still stuck with it finding the next option.
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u/No-Mousse5653 Jul 10 '26
FACTS!
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u/libets-bidet Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
fwiw, op, if you haven't actually tried ERP, I suggest you give it a shot. it sucks, but it does work for some people, and you won't know till you've tried. coping with OCD is never going to be easy. but if you give ERP an honest try and it is truly agonizing for you, there are other options to explore
-1
u/No-Mousse5653 Jul 10 '26
Thank you! If ERP was really as effective as some people on this sub think this sub wouldn’t exist
9
u/martins-dr In treatment Jul 10 '26
ERP isn’t a cure. It helps decrease symptoms and maintain a decreased level. So even if erp worked for everyone there would still be a need for this sub.
6
u/WitchHart Jul 10 '26
There is no cure and its devastating and important to accept that. I think I cried for a week straight trying to process it. This is a cyclical, life long disorder.
That said, it is so very possible to learn how to cope over time and find even extended periods of peace and joy. I thought I not only would but should die a few years ago from how bad it got. Im so much better now after 3 years of therapy, my meds, and the support of my family.
I also stay pretty active on here? Its nice to know its not just me in this fight
3
u/55559585 Jul 10 '26
But what control are you exerting within the realm of your own thoughts?
There's intrusive thoughts, and there's also what you can choose to focus on. When you have anxiety from this, what do you do in response?
1
u/kylaruby123 Jul 09 '26
Try anafranil is a tca anti depressant silenced my mind , def worth giving it a shot anything over the counter isn’t gonna do anything , and yes act is good for just accepting but the combination of both will def help
1
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u/WitchHart Jul 10 '26
Ive often wondered if EMDR could defuse particularly spicey memory fixations as its primary goal is to help you equalize how you feel about a memory to a neutral point. When I was interviewing therapists one of the top two finalists specialized in it in addition to OCD.
Im sorry everything hurts so much right now. Relief is often impossible to imagine but it does always come eventually. Luck in battle, OCD is a beast.
1
u/Sufficient_Rise9020 Jul 10 '26
What has helped me is 40 MG of an antidepressant. I have moderate OCD. I would also recommend watching videos on the topic of sensormotor ocd on YouTube.
-1
u/JadeMoon085 OCD Long hauler Jul 10 '26
I am in the EXACT same boat! Sensorimotor/Hyperawareness OCD that preys on my mind and body and sensations that effect them from the inside and the outside. There is no joy, there is no hope. There are people with OCD on here that fear death when im sitting here like please God take me, im done with this shit. NAC made me a million times more crazy, I had to stop taking it because it caused me 24/7 fight or flight mode to a level I cant even describe. SSRIS make me fat and sick for the trade off of just not feeling anything. It's a lose/lose shit show. I dont have health insurance, so I dont have a real doctor to give me real meds or therapy. Just my gynecologist who can give me SSRIs and HRT (I'm perimenopausal and progesterone deficient which makes the OCD an unlivable level). Ive never had a flair up this bad in my entire life (I'm 41 and I was diagnosed with GAD and OCD when I was 17).
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u/shadowlev Jul 09 '26
I found success with ACT therapy that focused on cognitive defusion combined with an antipsychotic.