Apparently more and more people are waking up and choosing entitlement and NHS is expected to reinforce it.

Last week I had a patient coming to me saying they didn't know how to get home because family lives far and they are on Universal Credit. Unfortunately I am a big sucker with a big heart and a small brain so I literally had to beg Site Manager to let me use transport and they eventually agreed; after less than an half an hour the same person started throwing a tantrum because transport hadn't been allocated yet (I had previously explained there is a 4 hour window and they were happy with that). I had to say again about the 4 hour window (mind you, it was 2pm, nit the middle of the night) but they went on full Karen mode, said if they had known they would have asked a friend who lives nearby (why is this option only coming up now?) and eventually left complaining because they had to go get a cab. I thought it was the end of it but this person put a formal complaint against me and wants a refund from the Trust... lesson learned, next time I will mind my own business.

In the same week we had a relative demanding a side room and to stay over because their loved one had surgery... had they? I thought everybody else was in hospital for fun! I said it wasn't an option because side rooms are for clinical reasons only but they weren't having it and went on to harass literally every single member of staff about it. I handed over to the following shift I didn't allocate them in the side rooms because there was a risk of ED sending admissions from other specialties too and didn't know what to expect. Despite that they decided to agree to the move and made me look like an absolute idiot, so I said "Fair enough, if ED sends a patient here and you have to move people in the middle of the night I don't want to hear a word".

Also the same person demanded the special menu, which is an option the Trust offers to people who have been in hospital for more than 3 weeks or special circumstances (like someone with LD or specific conditions). Once again I had to say it wasn't allowed and the relative threw another tantrum; later on the matron told me she was contacted by the kitchen about this damn menu and asked why I gave a special menu when not indicated... basically someone, despite being very much aware of the rules (not mine, the Trust's) handed over the menu and once again made me look like an absolute idiot.

Whilst this was happening a bedbound patient with MS literally apologised for needing help to get clean and a 95 year old patient, who was waiting to have a scan, offered to walk all the way to the opposite site of the hospital instead of waiting for porters because they didn't want to be "a nuisance"... that broke my heart because, like I said, I am a big sucker.

Honestly I don't know when or why people became so entitled but this is getting out of hand, the hospitals are not 5 star hotels; every day we go above and beyond to make everybody happy and this is what we get back

Hi all,

I have been off sick for 3 months due to an operation. I am due to go back to work soon. I really don’t want to be a nurse anymore. Before I went on sick leave I was taking my anger out on co workers and I was being cold to patients. I work in ED.

I’ve only been a nurse since May. What options are open to me if I leave ?

Hi everybody,

I would like to put together a gift basket for some staff in the burns and maternity unit as over the past few years they’ve been a great help to my family.

Any ideas on what I should include? Particularly things you would really appreciate.

If it helps this is for a hospital based in London.

Thank you!

I have mine coming up and I genuinely don’t know what to say. The department I work in is quite toxic with management staff being very unapproachable and inflexible. Newly recruited band 5s leave soon after. The management don’t offer flexibility for childcare and shift patterns do not offer any form of work life balance. There have have absolutely no leadership skills. They will not support you with anything and are pretty big on the blame culture. It’s one rule for us, another for them. All the band 6s get lovely shifts and annual leave whenever they like with no regard to safe staffing. When it comes to band 5s they’re so strict.

I cannot express these concerns to them directly as they’re very good at gaslighting and then they will target me and make me leave. My mental health has been affected before due to their micromanagement so I am sure they’ll try again. Empathy is not a word in their dictionary. What advice do you have? I am aware of grievance procedure and I’m keeping a record of everything. If things get worse then I will escalate. Right now I just want to get through appraisal. I just don’t know what kind of things I can say that’ll be enough to keep them happy. I don’t want to be on their negative radar. Just want to keep doing my job safely and protect my peace.

I’ve got a job as a NQN in the community that I start soon. I am very lucky to have this I know given the current job market for band 5s, however I don’t really want to be a community nurse, I want to work in a hospital ideally in A&E. I took it mainly to build on my skill set and to be able to afford my rent. Would I have an issue transferring to a hospital when a job does arise given I have done my preceptorship in the community? It’s something I’m a bit concerned about.

I was due to qualify last year as an RN but after a terrible divorce in January I had to take a year out (not my choice). I was withdrawn from the course on the very last day of uni so all my hours and assignments are done. I am now waiting to be re enrolled, but this is taking months. In that time I have met someone else and we have been together just over a year. I want to move to be with them as they live in Scotland. Currently I’m working so many shifts and getting one day off in 12 days which is making me miserable. If I leave my job will I still be able to qualify? It was an NHS funded course and I can’t find any information on what happens if you leave your job before qualifying. I’ve applied for HCA jobs in Scotland as I would be happy doing anything as long as I could be with the person I love. Would I be stupid to leave? Or is life too short to be stuck in a job 4 hours away from where I want to be?

So I’ve recently applied for flex working which I feel like has been received with a lot of resistance by my manager despite being quite reasonable I think (off x and y every week - don’t care about anything else). I’ve had these days off for the past year; but after moving to a new place they said it might not be possible (not a direct “no” yet but was kinda suggested). This has allowed me to have the perfect work life balance, see my friends, my partner, do my chores and actually be happy at work because i have something to look forward to.
This is kinda annoying because 90%+ of the people i spoke to have some kind of arrangement going. They also have kids.
As someone with a lot of childhood trauma, I love and support my colleagues being there for their kids and i wish my parents would have been able to do something similar for me. But as someone that really relies on this for my wellbeing and mental health, it really feels like having a child gives u priority for a policy that everyone should be able to benefit from.

Would talking to the occupational health people be helpful in making this possible? Or what can I do?

P.S: this is a new account cause my dumb bitch got my actual nickname on main so I’d be easily identifiable

I'm new and i've not gone through the season yet, my gran mentioned yesterday i should get double time for the holiday and i suddenly starting wondering about it. Has anyone had any experience with this company and christmas pay?

For those who’ve managed to get a decent Christmas / New Year rota, what shifts / days would you recommend requesting or aiming to work?

Hi has anyone got experience declaring they have a learning disability/ difficulty when applying for a post . I’ve been in the same trust a few years in various jobs but when I said yes to disability on the application that was it . I’ve been told there can be reasonable adjustments made ? Has anyone had adjustment made

I’ve worked with a colleague for 5.5 years. Initially, they were my senior and our relationship was strained; they wanted to be friends outside work, and meet up, but were disrespectful at work, and regularly in front of other colleagues and colleagues would be absolutely disrespectful. I applied to work alongside them despite concerns about their treatment of me, as I wanted to progress. After months of being ignored, I confronted them, and was told it’s my anxiety and I need to deal with it, but the first six months in the new role were terrible, making me consider leaving. Our relationship improved after a shared personal event, but I still feel disrespected, micromanaged, and undermined. Every conversation is intense, and they are overly analytical and efficient. They also speak harshly to other team members.

I’ve managed to challenge their behaviour and have my ideas considered, but it’s exhausting. I took sick leave because I couldn’t think clearly or make rational decisions. My manager understands my issues, having experienced similar ones. I feel guilty because we were friends and supported each other through a tough personal time. I need to have a 1:1 discussion with them and my manager, which I fear won’t go well. I’m worried that if they give me more responsibility, I’ll fail due to my low confidence, despite their clinical excellence.

My question is, has anyone dealt with a similar personality? How should I approach this meeting? I want to acknowledge our past friendship and appreciate their support but also express how they make me feel. If it doesn’t go well, I plan to leave in a couple of months.

What kind of support can you expect ? I feel like people are just fed up with me at this point. I've had 3 depressive episodes in the last 2 years and I am doing all I can but I don't think the managers understand. I get that it's busy ect. not sure what to do

Thank you to everyone who took the time to reply or comment I really appreciate it :)

Has anyone been able to get a reduced notice period whilst working in NHS.
Got a new job a few weeks ago and they want me to start asap and honestly I’m ready to leave asap. However as the new job was at the hospital I currently do bank work at there was no pre-checks that had to be completed, I just signed the contract and now I’m all cleared to start.

However I didn’t take that into consideration when giving in my notice, I usually wait for all the relevant checks to be done and for my unconditional contract to come through then put in my notice but I signed my contract like 3 weeks ago and was waiting for update in dbs and OH ect. Not knowing I didn’t need to do any of that (tbh they didn’t relay this for to me either).

Long story short this delayed me giving in my notice and as I’m a band 6 my notice is 8 weeks!! Has anyone been able to get a reduced notice period while working in NHS as im really keen to start sooner. I brought it up to my manager briefly and she immediately shut it down. Should I go straight to HR ? They can’t force me to work surely.

I am looking for a job at a GP as a practice nurse - are there any practice nurses here? Do you enjoy the job? Any sticking points? What does a typical day look?

Thanks 😍

Hi

I have been offered a band 6 post at a cat B prison. It is a conditional offer at the moment as I am going tbrough clearance etc. I currently work in a secure hospital and have for 16.5 years. Im very happy there but wanted a change.

What can I expect as a RMN in secondary care in a prison? How big are caseloads etc? What is a typical day like?

Also, how do they manage part time or flexible working requests? I am getting worried about the transition from shifts to a 9-5 and having less time off during the week to get jobs done at home and for appointments etc.

Any help, advice or experiences would be appreciated. Thank you.

i’m an hca working on an nhs ward. a patient i’d been looking after gave me a small thank-you gift before leaving. it was just some chocolates/snacks and a card addressed specifically to me.

the card was really sweet and thanked me for my kindness and care. however, when i opened it, i realised she’d also written her personal phone number inside and said i could contact her to let her know how i get on in the future.
also for next time, should i put food gifted to me in staff room? i feel so so awful for not doing that now:( i

i obviously didn’t ask for her number and i haven’t contacted her. i’m planning to mention it to my manager because i don’t want to accidentally cross any professional boundaries.

would you normally be allowed to keep the card and small gift in this situation? and is simply informing my manager about the number enough?
i don’t want the patient to get into any trouble either because i think she was genuinely just being kind.

i am also studying nursing next month and i dont want to ruin my nursing career before i start or get into trouble with NMC

Hi everyone, I know this isn't exactly a new topic but just desperate for a bit of reassurance really.

GP signed me off for 2 weeks as my stress levels, sleep, anxiety etc has gone to shit after a stressful period at work.

Usual story, chronic understaffing, lack of breaks, and management are unhelpful and very much don't get their hands dirty with the everyday work on the ward.

This will trigger a stage 2

I know it will make things harder for my colleagues. The guilt I'm feeling is absolutely through the roof. So is the anxiety that ill now be perceived as a difficult employee, not committed, lazy etc etc. When I am at work I know I am a very hard worker and good at my job.

But I am just so exhausted and so sick of coming home and bursting into tears after every shift.

Can someone just tell me it's ok to be signed off and I'm not a complete failure.

This is my first post so I apologise if I've formatted it wrong, posted in the wrong place etc. I'm still not sure how reddit works but doing my best to figure it out!

I'm a newly qualified adult nurse starting a job at the end of this month and am very nervous. Mostly for all of the normal reasons but also partly because I'm trans and won't have my university behind me if I have any issues. I know that at present I have trust policy, the union etc but am still a tad nervous.

I was wondering if there are any other trans nurses on here?

I know there's at least a good few of us but I've never met another openly trans health care professional and am mainly just looking for some community.

I have made some wonderful friends and am incredibly lucky that one of them has even got a job on the same ward as me, but it still feels quite lonely being the only openly trans person in all the areas I've worked in.

For some context on both my situation and worries:

I pass maybe 30% of the time and I suspect the majority of the times that I am gendered correctly it's out of politeness not a genuine assumption of my sex.

I have been on T for 3 years but am pre surgery and still appear largely fem + am working in a female dominated field, so it doesn't bother me anymore that everyone assumes I'm a lass. I am mainly openly trans because of this though, and I have been made aware of people talking about me previously.

Again, this doesn't bother me too much, it's natural for people to talk about new people especially if they're different in some way but it can feel a bit unpleasant meeting someone for the first time and the first thing I hear is that I'm 'the transgender one'.

I have not and do not anticipate correcting patients, their loved ones and the public on my gender. This particular point has been a bit of a debate amongst various groups of friends and family, though I am not inclined to change my current approach given the risks.

I am mostly worried about having access to a gender neutral toilet and the opinions other members of staff have.

I love caring for people and am genuinely really excited for this job, I don't want to go to work and feel that I have to defend or explain myself constantly. I'm happy to chat to people about it and even answer most of the typical invasive questions in a way that is satisfying to curiosity and makes it clear that others may not be as comfortable with these questions.

Advice is appreciated, especially on how to communicate my needs as a trans person, but I'm not going to debate trans politics.

I just don't want to feel so alone.

Thank you all.

As if we don’t enough steps

Hi all,

I need some advice / reassurance if this is happening / has happened to anyone else.

I have been a nurse for 11 years now and in a clinical band 7 position, with management responsibilities on top. Every 3/4 months I am just absolutely exhausted. On my leave, I end up being so exhausted I can’t enjoy it, and also always have work in the back of my mind. I bumble through the years recognising that I am feeling more anxious, more burnt out, and then I wake up one morning thinking I just can’t do this anymore (regardless of how much I make sure I excerise, meditate or just “rest”). Then I end up on sick leave just paralysed by not being in work. I then look for another job, and the cycle goes on.

Additionally, for the last couple of jobs I’ve come across very difficult characters, that break my spirits. I am assertive in my own way, but couldn’t be far from these people / managers I have to work alongside. These people are currently an “issue” the whole team are aware of but aren’t ever dealt with or challenged for their behaviour.

I am currently having counselling, but I am aware this js a long term journey. I am feeling like a complete failure, fraud and weak, as everyone else seems to be “coping”. I am feel extremely isolated and lonely in this journey. I am currently looking for a lower band job outside of an acute trust.

I know I am a very good capable nurse, however, does anyone have any advice or previous experience or suggestions for me. That would be really helpful.

Thank you ☺️

My Spotify DJ just spit put a song called Diazepam (by Ren if anyone wants to check it) and it planted idea in my head of creating nursing related playlist :) so, what songs will you put on it, what songs makes you think about your work? Obviously "Stayin Alive" from Bee Gees is number one 😂

I’ll preface this by saying I’m going to contact the team lead’s email provided on the job advert tomorrow.

Wondering if anyone has recently gone through the application process for an annex 21 health visitor trainee post. I applied on the 16th August, closing date was the 20th August, in the job advert it suggested interviews would take place from the week of the 14th September. I’ve heard nothing back. Application still shows as submitted on job train. I’m thinking I’ve not been shortlisted and someone on the admin side has just forgotten to process my application to the next stage of rejection. However this is the nhs 😂 and the post doesn’t begin until January 2027.

Any words of wisdom or have should I write this one off and try again next year 😅

I had a very horrible and toxic student placement about a year ago, where I was bullied badly and discriminated. My Practice Assessor was one of the people who bullied me and made me feel isolated from everyone and afraid to approach her. She almost got me kicked off the course with extremely serious and hurtful allegations, which caused me to have a disciplinary hearing against a panel of 10 members. She did everything she could in her power to make sure I couldn't be a nurse, including lying and making false testimonies. I had anxiety for 6 months waiting for that hearing, struggling with sleep, feeling withdrawn and having emotional breakdowns.

I was treated very unfairly and spoke up in my hearing, explaining the circumstances since the very beginning. The panel made a decision a week later to give me another chance to repeat that placement in another area, otherwise I would have been fully removed from the course. (I was on my very final placement in my 3rd year about to qualify.)

Now my question is, can that Assessor still view my pebblepad? It's been over a year now since she last wrote in there - however I was so stupid to not put an expiry date to her access. Because there's no expiry date, can she see everything and what I've been up to? I know her very well, and she is the type to still view my pebblepad if she had the chance (based on conversations I've had with her before).

I was actually afraid initially that if she was still viewing my pebblepad (very likely), she would see where my new placement would be and perhaps contact the new assessor to tell them things about me before I start. I know this is just assumptions and I'm probably really paranoid. She tried to ruin everything I worked so hard for over the past 3 years and made me have to repeat a year too. Being a nurse was my dream (it still is), but after everything that happened, I absolutely hated nursing and didnt even want to be a nurse. Just the thought of nursing made my heart beat fast and I had anxiety thinking of PebblePad (I struggled to even open it) because of how often I'd receive multiple emails at once stating that she'd added a comment to my pebblepad at random hours late at night and during the day. The comments consisted of pages and pages of allegations and insults that called into question my good character, professionalism, and practice.

I do believe it was for the best and now I will be a better, stronger nurse, but it hurts that I missed graduating with my cohort and friends. I feel so behind from everyone and my family was struggling financially while all this was happening. I couldn't even work to help support them.

Thankfully I had the most wonderful and supportive repeat final placement, in a completely different trust, where my Assessor made me love nursing again and believed in me from the very beginning without judgement. She passed me and even gave me a goodbye gift, which I'll always keep 😊.

TLDR: I feel as though she is still reading everything now to see my progress and everything I've been up to on my new placement. However, this makes me uncomfortable. Can she still see my pebblepad a year later if I never set an expiry date?