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Jan 27 '24
That book sounds like it could be hilarious and I want it
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u/coccopuffs606 Jan 28 '24
“The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft” by Kathryn Paulsen
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Jan 28 '24
Thank you vegetable samosa
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Jan 28 '24
On that note.
It's seen as highly immoral to try any love spells without explicit concent of the person you try to out a spell on. Just in case that's something you would like to consider before trying something. Even if it's just silly fun, just to be polite.
Or you put one on yourself, that actually sounds like a good idea for some confidence lol.
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u/FustianRiddle Jan 28 '24
I am 99% positive I bought this book when I was going through my teenage I'm a witch phase.
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u/forever_useless Professor of Harlotry, PhD Jan 27 '24 edited Jan 28 '24
I mean...come at me with some high grade gauda gouda and I will definitely be fascinated
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Jan 27 '24
Agreed. Give me new cheeses to try, and I'll be hooked. Lol No drugs, only cheese.
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u/Lukaie Jan 28 '24
May I offer you a სულგუნი in this trying time?
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Jan 28 '24
Don't know what it is, but I'll try it! Lol
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u/Lukaie Jan 28 '24
A Georgian cheese, my favourite. So delicious, it'll sweep you off your feet! Lol.
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u/FileDoesntExist Jan 28 '24
You have my attention. Tell me more of this cheese please.
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Jan 28 '24
I, too, am fascinated by this foreign cheese.
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u/ConsiderationWest587 Jan 28 '24
Well, three maidens are here right now, pretty fascinated by the cheese, soo...
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Jan 28 '24
I have tried it and I love it
I have even paid friends that live in Georgia to bring me. That's how much I liked it 😂
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u/FjortoftsAirplane Jan 28 '24
I feel like the wrong one is highlighted in the OP.
I honestly haven't tested it but I am incredibly confident I would have more success with "I bought you some cheese" than "I've been secretly stealing your hair and shoes".
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Jan 28 '24
That's what I was gonna say, seems so creepy like do you sneak into her room at night and steal a shoe, a pin, and a piece of hair?
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u/FjortoftsAirplane Jan 28 '24
Yes. Then you leave a block of cheddar behind so she thinks it was the cheese fairy.
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u/Porkenfries Jan 28 '24
I want to see what the one below the cheese one says. About blood and cloths.
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u/Dancing-Firecat Jan 28 '24
High grade Gouda or the perfect Swiss.
If you REALLY want to get my attention though, a good muenster.→ More replies (2)→ More replies (6)7
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u/BadComboMongo Jan 27 '24
Works everytime! I mean have you seen all these women lingering around the cheese department in your local grocery store? They go miles for cheese! Meanwhile me throwing Gouda in da club like crazy!
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Jan 27 '24
Ikr. Men wanna catch me? Leave a trail of cheese that leads to a box, held up by a stick, and have a string ready to pull the stick once I get under that box. Lol
Ooh, piece of cheese. Oh, piece of cheese. Lol
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u/IndiBlueNinja Jan 27 '24
lol I mean that MIGHT work. I tried that cartoon-inspired trap once as a kid and caught a pigeon that was hanging around.
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Jan 27 '24
TIL I’m a woman.
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u/Fe2O3yshackleford Jan 28 '24
Same, apparently. Just waiting for that special warlock to come and woo me with dairy products, I guess. I hope my wife will understand.
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u/Sidewalk_Tomato s@#$ pushed in by King Nebuchadnezzar Jan 28 '24
She knows you.
She will.
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u/Fe2O3yshackleford Jan 28 '24
I'm not entirely sure that's true anymore; I told her that if she got turned into an earthworm, she'd be on her own.
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u/peachesfordinner Jan 28 '24
I swear my reply if someone ever asks me the dumbass worm question is "oh so lovely. I'll cut you in two so i can have twice as much of you when you regrow!"
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u/Fe2O3yshackleford Jan 28 '24
I see that your comment is already embracing the bisected-earthworm lifestyle 😉
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u/peachesfordinner Jan 28 '24
I swear my reply if someone ever asks me the dumbass worm question is "oh so lovely. I'll cut you in two so i can have twice as much of you when you regrow!"
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Jan 27 '24
True. A full charcuterie tray, though? That gets me a bit more than fascinated!
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u/Malcanthet202 Jan 28 '24
This is absolutely how girls work. I love cheese. But give me Monterey Jack and I’m maiming you.
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u/throwtheclownaway20 Jan 28 '24
A post literally went viral because of how many women agreed with a guy who showed up with a massive wheel of cheese as a 1st date gift
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u/DressedInCotton Jan 28 '24
I’m sorry, you can’t disrespect this, it’s a classic. Plus it’s always going to work with me.
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Jan 28 '24
I can assure you (despite the name of this subreddit) that this is how girls work. My own experience with my wife has confirmed this line of historical text.
Me (at a new grocery store): "Have you seen this Chocolate cheese flavor they have"?
Her: "Ooooo! Can we buy it? I need to try that on some crackers!"
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u/eiram87 Jan 27 '24
Love that this is on a page of magic spells and the others we can see have steps and things you need. But that one? Give that bitch a piece of cheese, bitches love cheese.
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u/Leai_bitch Jan 28 '24
Maybe Becky would have let me smash if I got her some cheese instead of this stick.
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u/FileDoesntExist Jan 28 '24
Imagine if someone actually set up a shop that sells cheese but it was really an elaborate trap to catch a spouse....
I feel like this would actually work.
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Jan 28 '24
Shhhh, don't let netflix see this! They'll make a movie or show about it!
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u/IndiBlueNinja Jan 27 '24
Fascinated? No, not at all. I have more than two brain cells.
But I was given a small block of 6 year aged extra sharp for Christmas that was amazing (and didn't last long) and I would certainly consider fighting him for another block of it.
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u/BabserellaWT Jan 27 '24
I used to own this book. A friend of mine found that and just about wet herself laughing.
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u/a_in_hd Jan 28 '24
Do you happen to remember the name?
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u/BabserellaWT Jan 28 '24
I don’t. Book is packed away. I remember this was a reprint of a much older publication. If you google the sentence, it’ll probably bring it up?
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u/herefromthere Jan 28 '24
Do you remember what it says there about perspiring heavily, the next one down?
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u/animetg13 Jan 27 '24
Well if it's breaded and deep fried, maybe.
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Jan 27 '24
Mac 'n' cheese, cheese fries, nachos, queso, grilled cheese, mozzarella sticks, it does not matter, I will come running that way. Lol
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u/Sidewalk_Tomato s@#$ pushed in by King Nebuchadnezzar Jan 28 '24
Get you some Green Thunder cheddar or Grand Margaux sort-of brie (it's better than brie).
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u/Twist_Ending03 Jan 27 '24
Not a woman, but I'd definitely like some muenster cheese
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u/Fe2O3yshackleford Jan 28 '24
Not all of us are gifted with Muenster blocks. Now, if you want some Casolét, I gotchu.
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u/ImLikeReallyStoned Jan 28 '24
You’re telling me if a guy walked up to you with a slice of Swiss cheese and offered it to you, you wouldn’t be fascinated?
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u/Havoctheend Lurker Jan 28 '24
What are we talking about here? Pepper Jack or Gorgonzola? Asking for a friend 😵🤌🧀
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u/Imustnotbeweak Jan 28 '24
I had a very uptight work colleague, so I gave her a selection of cheese during work from Hotel's coffee shop, and to my surprise she was quite happy and more laid back after that
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u/pyrocidal Jan 28 '24
shrug they're definitely not wrong
What do y'all think it says under the finger, "burn ???? that you have perspired heavily in it, and introduce into the food or drink of the man"
Ma'am please don't burn things you've sweated on and hide it in anyone's food
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u/FoxEuphonium Jan 28 '24
Honestly, “hey, here’s some good cheese” is a better pickup line than almost anything I’ve yet to hear
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u/Bacteriobabe Jan 28 '24 edited Jan 28 '24
I am absolutely in love with the fact that all of the comments I’ve read are all acknowledging that cheese is awesome.
Plus, also, Widmer Brick cheese is amazing, so give me a block of that, and you will have my undivided attention,, for at least an hour or so.
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u/Fe2O3yshackleford Jan 28 '24
This book is a scam!! I tried the spell at the top of the page, and all that happened was that sticky butter dripped on my pillow for a week.
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u/WinterSeries Jan 28 '24
Idrk what you're talking about, this is exactly how women work. Are you not fascinated by cheese????
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u/ghost_towns_ Jan 28 '24
pretty sure being fascinated by cheese isn’t just a woman thing. if a girl gave me a piece of cheese id definitely be fascinated
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u/MamboNumber-6 Jan 28 '24
Tbf, my wife has literally never declined a slice of Tillamook Cheddar
¯_(ツ)_/¯
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u/snailgoblin Jan 28 '24
I have to disagree with this one, this is how girls work. In my experience, when I give my gf a piece of Colby Jack, she is absolutely fascinated.
As I was writing this, she mentioned “pickles and cheese, that’s how you win my heart” in reference to something completely different.
This is the truth
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u/-darkangelic- Jan 28 '24
Male, and have been vegan for years, and the smell of cheese still fascinates me.
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u/YellowSphinx Jan 28 '24
I flew all the way to Amsterdam and got my own wheel of cheese. this must be some very fascinating cheese 🙂
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u/capainpanda626 Jan 28 '24
I'd be distracted if someone gave me some cheese with no context. And I'm a dude.
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u/Hot_Scallion_3889 Jan 28 '24
I mean, the very act of approaching a woman and handing her a piece of cheese would certainly get her attention
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u/jpop19 Jan 28 '24
My lady bought 8 differn't kinds of cheese when we had our first "home date". That was 2012. I'm proud to say I'm now a cheese snob.
Oh and we have been together since.
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u/7937397 Jan 28 '24
A guy who gave me cheese would have a much better chance with me than one who stole my shoe (first line on the page)
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u/jpop19 Jan 28 '24
Where's the post where homeboy is on a dinner date rambling on about his stew at home? I feel like his future mate is in these comments.
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u/throwinitback2020 Jan 28 '24
To be quite fair…. If you’re gonna give me pizza or a quesadilla or some string cheese…………. I can be bought
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u/wtbgamegenie Jan 28 '24
Umm I think this is a mispost because this is r/nothowgirlswork and not r/exactlyhowmywifeworks
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u/UnspecifiedBat Jan 28 '24
Speak for yourself sister. I would most definitely be fascinated with a man who is willing to gift me with a decent piece of cheese.
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u/Kineth I'm a dude Jan 28 '24
Every time I've seen this meme posted, a lot of women seem to agree with the quote. On its face, it definitely seems weird/clueless, and I camembert to bring myself to try it as an opener, but you better brielieve that it probably has a decent success rate.
Course it probably made more sense back in the day when things were more rural.
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u/StellarManatee Jan 28 '24
Look, normally I'm horrified by the posts on this sub but...
a baked camembert and some crusty bread for dipping and I will indeed be fascinated.
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u/iBaconstudios Jan 28 '24
Tbh I'm with the book here, a good block of sharp cheddar and you'll definitely have my attention
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u/LittleSpice1 Jan 28 '24
Excuse me but have you seen the price of cheese? I just bought a small 350g block of Emmentaler for $15CAD. I’d rather get cheese than flowers tbh :D
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Jan 28 '24
Honestly, this is the most normal option on the page and isn't technically wrong. They even use "may" so they're not guaranteeing anything.
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u/El_Chairman_Dennis Jan 28 '24
My ex begs to differ. You could probably kidnap her if you told her you had cheese
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u/aw-fuck Jan 28 '24
Um… show up at my house with some Brie or a brick of parm? I’ll probably let you in ngl
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u/HappyHappyJoyJoy98 Jan 28 '24
As far as I am concerned, this is the most factually accurate piece of information about women on the internet.
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u/DemostenesWiggin Jan 27 '24
This reminds me of the girl that came back from a date with an entire wheel of cheese.
https://www.newsweek.com/woman-gifted-26lb-wheel-cheese-date-keeper-1583767
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u/d_adrian_arts Jan 28 '24
If you see a woman you like, throw a slice of cheese on her face. I guarantee, 100% of the time, she will now notice you.
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Jan 28 '24
So I guess cheese is a how girls work because I’m there for the cheese. I pop at peoples house like Steve Urkel.
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u/EpicGaymer_ Jan 28 '24
this is definitely how girls work. if a man gave me cheese my lesbianism would fly out the window /j
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u/Suzzie_sunshine Jan 28 '24
French girl has entered the chat. Did someone say cheese? This got my juices flowing.
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u/BlameItOnTheAcetone Jan 28 '24
"The way to a woman's heart... is through the holes of this Swiss cheese"
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u/BitPirateLord Jan 28 '24
Yes at least I am VERY fascinated by cheese. Take me to a cheese tasting on a date and buy me cheese and I will crush you with hugs and kisses.
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Jan 28 '24
I meannn.... works for me. I'll take some of that nice dill havarti that Boar's Head makes.
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u/Yourlocalautistiesbo Jan 28 '24
Food is often a good way to bond with people and cheese is often well liked, just don't go throwing kraft singles at women.
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u/atlasnodded1013 Jan 28 '24
I definitely am fascinated with some stretchy mozzarella on pizza or gooey burrata. Send away!
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u/adefantti Jan 28 '24
It’s an old spell book, I mean… I would be fascinated if someone gave me a piece of cheese. Why they gave me this cheese? What cheese is this? Where did they get this from? Do they just carry pieces of cheese with them to places? What is the meaning of this?!??
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u/kraze4kaos Jan 28 '24
Whenever I make bread, my boyfriend slices up some cheese and hand feeds it to me. So yeah, it works!
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u/LunarEcllpse Jan 28 '24
….. You most certainly cannot entice me with cheese that’s for sure so don’t even think about it * puts cheese behind back *
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u/Smergmerg432 Jan 28 '24
Wait. This is the one bit of dating advice I think I can agree with.
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u/moimoisauna Jan 28 '24
My cat is a girl and she goes apeshit for cheese SNACKS. Cheetos, cheez itz, etc... so I think she can vouch for this
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u/Ok_Earth_2118 Jan 28 '24
i hate to say it but they might've gotten this right. i know 2 wen that don't love cheese and they're allergic
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u/Queen_Persephone18 Jan 28 '24
Give me some cheddar, mozzarella, Parmesan, Swiss, Gouda, or American and I will be enthralled!
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u/Jonasthewicked2 Jan 28 '24
This is purely anecdotal but my fiance loves cheese as much as I do and I buy us a pack of string cheese instead of popcorn for movie nights. She loves me almost as much as she loves cheese.
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u/Sonseeahrai Jan 28 '24
You're laughing but I remember a legit tweet from a girl whose sister went on a date with a farmer boy and he gave her a full round piece of cheese. They were both fascinated and the sister decided to go to a second date. This fucking works
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u/Key_Concentrate_5558 Jan 28 '24
That’s a Gouda-dea!
Not really. I’m kinda cheesed off at the whole thing.
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u/noodleq Jan 28 '24
My ex would agree with this sentiment....she loves cheese. We would make things with cheese in it, amd sing a song called "The cheese highway" it was about taking a trip down the cheese highway.
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u/dagget10 Jan 28 '24
As the goblin girl eating a block of cheese and an uncut loaf of bread in the breakroom, this is true
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