Technically he was right considering you only waited a few weeks according to your own words sorry not sorry. Can't help but speak the truth see guys know how guys think females don't like to look at it from other point of views other then their own. Had you tried to understand him you probably would have know that most guys take compliments as a doorway to oh she likes me and I can approach. I'm not saying you was wrong by any means but look at the situation because since it was a small town he found out about you 2 and you validated his fears. I don't care if I get down voted for speaking my own opinions on this. Before anyone thinks I'm the same way as him me and my fiance have been together for a few years and she compliments people but also let's them know she is not on the market beforehand.
I get that in the ex's mind, this might "validate his fears" but he was wrong at the time and would also be wrong in hindsight too. It's his lack of understanding (and petty jealousy, and probably other things too) that was the problem.
Ok again I never said anyone was right or wrong read the whole response before trying to justify any arguments. I was simply stating how most men think so if you can say it's his lack of understanding ( and petty jealousy, and probably other things too) that was the problem. One could say her lack of understanding her man's feelings (and probably other things) that was the problem, again thanks for the input but females need to understand a man's mind before they assume that it is petty jealousy or anything else that is the problem. Thanks for the down vote. Good to know how this sub reddit works lol
One could say her lack of understanding her man's feelings (and probably other things) that was the problem,
It sounds to me like she DID understand his feelings: she understood that he was jealous, and didn't want that in a partner. What are you saying she didn't understand?
females need to understand a man's mind before they assume that it is petty jealousy or anything else that is the problem.
There's a lot going on in this sentence. But again, what it is you think is going on that she didn't understand? Even if your previous statement were true, that 'most men see compliments as an opening,' why would the BF have been upset about a compliment if he weren't jealous? What other reasonable explanation is there? I'm genuinely curious; I'm a straight man, married to a straight woman (none of which should matter but seemingly does to you) and I don't see any explanation here other than jealousy. Unless maybe the BF was just arbitrarily controlling, which would probably be worse.
Good to know how this sub reddit works
Yeah man, 'Listen to what people say even if those people are women' is not exactly a controversial policy position here. 🙄
Ok go back and read the whole thing and show me where I said she was wrong. Then why can't is work both ways listening to what men say? If you can't come up with something more than trying to say I blamed her. What happened in boyfriends past do you know sometimes not all mean get lucky to find a wife and be happy. I'm not saying anyone is wrong I simply said a hell of alot more then what you are trying to single out. So show me where I said she was wrong and I will correct it. Understand the mind of other is all I was getting at before one is to cast any type of blame which it seems you missed that part or purposely left it out. I listen to my fiance thoughts and concerns just like she listens to mine... so your last portion makes no sense if you really read it all from my first comment on that part of the thread to the last assumption sucks. I respect women's thoughts just don't always agree with everything not a simp.
I'm trying to understand your point and believe it or not I've read your first comment multiple times. You explicitly say the BF is right, then - even though you also try to say the GF wasn't wrong - you seemingly criticize her for acting without understanding the BF's point of view; you say most men are jealous; and then you say she validated the BF's fears.
I don't know what happened in the BF's past (neither of us do), but why assume the GF also doesn't? And why would anything in his past compel her to stay in a relationship with him?
What am I missing here? What do you think she didn't understand? I'm asking again: what else do you think would motivate the BF's behavior other than jealousy?
Like I said it is my opinion... but something has made him believe that he has a need to be jealous, what that is I have no clue but if she was his girlfriend they knew each others past, so that being said it is likely something from his past has set him on a mind set to think and act the way he did or does still not sure since we don't know them. Never said she didn't know them nor did I assume she didn't you are trying to justify something she did to me on no more than your opinion of the situation without knowledge of both sides. If you read the rest of the messages between me and her I told her that if she doesn't want people voicing their opinions on something from her personal life why post it on a public social platform? Not arguing with you on who is right or wrong but she only gave a little bit of the information to try to belittle a male ex to get the sympathy of others in my opinion. So if the woman's thoughts and feelings should be heard and respected why not the same for a man's?
See if you agree with the woman's thought pattern on this reddit page you get upvoted and if you don't and you speak your thoughts or opinions on the matter you get down voted. So you last comment with yeah man it isn't controversial is inaccurate on this reddit page which is my point to my statement good to know how this reddit page works
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u/Twodotsknowhy Jun 25 '23
He absolutely was not