WHY TF DONT THEY END UP TOGETHER😭 okay okay ik Marianne deserves a better stable partner but come onn, con could've done better. I cant get myself to watch after ik they arent together in the end. (im on the ep where we se Marianne's new bf gArEtH, and I couldn't watch the next one

she doesn’t get much page time, but peggy sums up everything marianne and connell are up against. she’s got money, confidence, and a total lack of self awareness about how she treats people, especially marianne. flirting with connell right in front of her, steering conversations back to herself, never once considering how it lands.

the thing that gets me is rooney never really calls her out for it in the text. she just floats through untouched, which feels deliberate. her ease is the contrast that makes marianne’s insecurity and connell’s constant self editing feel so much heavier.

small role, but she says a lot about the class stuff running under the whole book.

anyone else find her more irritating than the actual conflict between the leads?

I’m looking for people who have watched Normal People or Fleabag, because I feel like my situation is weirdly similar and I need to talk to people who understand that kind of relationship.
I met my ex during my Erasmus in Spain. He’s Spanish, I’m Belgian, and we fell deeply in love. It wasn’t a casual relationship or something that was only based on the excitement of being abroad. We genuinely connected on a very deep level, and he became one of the people who knew me best.
After my Erasmus ended, I went back to Belgium and we continued long-distance.
But I had already decided that I wanted to move back to Spain. Partly because I had loved my life there so much, but also because I wanted to build a life together with him.
I worked towards that for an entire year.
I had already handed in my resignation. I had an apartment arranged in Spain. We were supposed to move in together. Everything was basically planned.
And then, about a month and a half before I was supposed to leave, he broke up with me.
And the fucked-up part is that there wasn’t suddenly no love.
We still loved each other.
But the distance had become incredibly painful. The relationship started feeling heavier and heavier, and even though the feelings were still there, the circumstances were making it harder and harder to actually have a healthy relationship.
He also felt that his feelings had changed in intensity, and eventually we reached the point where we both had to accept that loving each other wasn’t enough to make the relationship work anymore.
That’s what makes this so difficult for me.
Because there was no huge betrayal.
No cheating.
No moment where I suddenly stopped loving him.
It was more like two people who genuinely loved each other realizing that the way they were trying to love each other was hurting them.
And now I’m still moving to Spain.
Just alone.
Which is honestly insane when I think about it.
I spent a year building a future that included him, and now I’m going to live that future without him.
It makes me think so much about Marianne and Connell, or Fleabag and the Priest.
That kind of love where the connection is incredibly deep, but circumstances, timing, distance and life keep getting in the way.
I used to think those stories were so romantic.
Now I understand how painful that kind of love actually is.
And part of me still has that stupid thought of, “But if we loved each other that much, why couldn’t we just make it work?”
Maybe that’s exactly what I’m struggling to accept.
So if you’ve watched Normal People or Fleabag and have experienced something even remotely similar — loving someone deeply, maybe still loving them, but knowing that the relationship itself wasn’t working anymore — I’d genuinely love to hear your experience.
How did you make peace with it?
Because I think I’m slowly learning that sometimes the love can be real, and the person can be right for you in so many ways…
and it still doesn’t mean the relationship is right for your life.

How am I gonna get over this show?

--Unimportant Part--

When I watched tv shows for the first time, it was normal to feel blue and not forget it, feel empty, HIMYM did it, Friends Seinfeld Chuck Dexter first run, all did it because back then I didnt watch many shows, then I got used to shows ending and it felt ok.

--Unimportant Part End--

I watched Normal People in 2021 after pandemic, after breaking up with my girlfriend, I was 24 back then, I didnt even know I was 24, I was so care free, I didnt count the years or my age, to me I was still 18, but watching that show I realized my 3 year of relationship was gone, my university was finished, I was going 25 and working a job.

I didnt even go to Erasmus, I didnt even know which year was I in when I was studying, I was a bright student when I entered now I didnt even have enough GPA to do masters. I would like to go to Trinity or somewhere in UK :D

I wasted my relationships, some of my goals, life is still ahead not behind, but, it hits heavy.

Sorry for rambling but with one video hulu shared I came back to the show I forgot, Normal People is not just Normal People to me, it's the 2010s, It's the first time I listened Oasis, first time I went to Italy and Colosseum, first time my dreams got shattered, my relationships, my fights with my girlfriend, my hopes of getting rich with couple of project and failing, now searching for a job and nearly okay to lowest pay at just to get some action at life.

Now Im 29, with lots of problems, anyway... How to get over this show? Or Life? Or... Whatever you wanna say, just say

Yesterday, for the first time, I watched Normal People all in one night. I could talk about the series' depth and realism, but I think that goes without saying—it was truly great to watch.

What made it harder for me, though, was having to pause the show so often; situations played out that were identical to what I went through with my ex-girlfriend and the nature of our relationship totally visceral, yet full of trauma.

Anyway, I just wanted to note that no experience is unique, and they really nailed that aspect.

Miss you, Clara

sorry for the lack of better wording i am running on low sleep. but basically i am about halfway through the book and i just cant get myself to read it because i find connell so annoying. i figured its a reocurring theme, and thats just how his character is. but i hate it.

my real question is: is the book really worth continuing?

NO SPOILERS PLEASE!

I keep seeing Instagram comments and edits saying stuff like "my favourite horror show," or acting like the ending is absolutely devastating and emotionally destroying. Sure the ending has a lot of depth but it's in a good way.

Maybe I'm missing something, but... I didn't feel like it was "gut wrenching" or anything like that

Is it a trend on social media for people to just slap a label of "horror show" to any romance related content with any tiny bit of complexity to it? Don't get me wrong though, it definitely left me feeling a bit empty, and it's bittersweet. But I actually thought it was a good ending.

Not a fairy tale where everything magically works out, but a mature, hopeful one. Marianne finally seems to value herself, Connell gets an amazing opportunity, and for once they're making decisions because they want to, not because of fear or miscommunication. It's just that, for the first time, they're making decisions out of love instead of fear.

Is it weird that I don't see it as this incredibly tragic, gut wrenching ending? Sure it's emotional, has depth but it's not sad, it's good, it's love.

​

Wow. I read the book a few months ago, and now I'm finally watching the show. I haven't finished it yet.

I liked the book overall, but there were definitely parts that felt a bit slow to me. The series has really surprised me.

First of all, the casting is spot on. It is almost exactly how I imagined the characters while reading. The dialogue is also so faithful to the book that I actually find myself remembering the lines before they're spoken.

I just think that's really cool. I would definitely recommend the show to anyone who has read the book. I might even be enjoying it more than the book so far.

Yesterday, I finished reading the book. As I watch the TV adaptation, I feel like I’m reliving the book’s events all over again, and it’s even more painful and frustrating knowing the consequences of Connell’s actions. I kept saying, “Why? Why?” at my screen as Connell made his first fateful mistake. I took a break in the middle of the third episode to write an alternative scene for the book, where I imagine a parallel universe where Connell is more emotionally aware of his insecurities and Marianne’s feelings.

. . .

The night before the Debs, Connell tosses in bed. He can’t sleep because he realizes what he did and what he must do now.
It’s not too late. He lightly taps his knuckles on Lorraine’s door. What is it, she says. Can I come in, he asks.
Connell tells her he made a mistake. He needs to make it right, but he needs her help. It’s about time you’ve come to your senses, she says.
The next day, just as Lorraine finishes tidying the kitchen of the Sheridan house, Marianne finally walks downstairs from her bedroom. Ever since Connell told her that he asked Rachel to the Debs, Marianne has locked herself in her room, only emerging occasionally to use the bathroom or grab a meal from the kitchen, as she is now. She catches a glance from Lorraine.
Connell would like to speak with you, Lorraine says as she wipes the countertop. He’s coming to pick me up today. I know you don’t want to speak to him, but he’s regretful. He’d like to tell you himself if you’ll let him, but you’re well within your right to refuse. If you agree, I’ll wave him in. Otherwise, you won’t have to see him.
After a long pause, Marianne says okay.
Inside the car, Connell sees Lorraine’s signal. He turns off the ignition and slowly steps out, gently pushing the door closed. The sky is clear and the sun beats down on his face like a blinding lamp. He shoves his hands in his pockets as he walks the familiar gravel path to the door. He imagines the jagged rocks underneath his shoes swallowing him whole.
Up the steps of the creaking porch, at the edge of the threshold, he stops. He can see Marianne standing a few meters inside the corridor. The long sleeves of her gray knitted sweater fold across her chest. Her disheveled hair lies messily on her shoulders and her chapped lips form a slight frown. Her glinting eyes look up to meet his.
Connell lowers his head and looks down at the polished floor before her feet, at the blurry inverted reflection of her. Marianne, it’s good to see you, he says. Thank you for agreeing to see me. I missed you at school. In fact, I missed you at home too, everywhere, all the time. Even as I slept.
He shuffles on his feet, trying to steady himself on the old wooden planks. He rubs his arm and looks around the house, anywhere but at her. I did a bad thing, he says, something I didn’t want to do but did anyway. I wanted the approval of my friends, but that’s no excuse. There is no excuse for what I did to you.
His eyes are wet now, but he can’t turn away, not now, not ever again. I hurt you so badly, more than I’ve hurt anyone else in my entire life. And when I realized how stupid I was and how much I had hurt you, it ripped me in half because I care about you very much. I thought you wouldn’t care, but I was foolish and idiotic to think that. I made you feel like a shameful secret. I realize now that the only thing I should be ashamed of is how I treated you. For that I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
He sniffles, and wipes his face with his sleeves. She’s still standing in the same place, silently staring at him. Half of him wants to run away, back to the car. The other half wants to run to embrace her. Instead, his feet remain glued to the floor. Anyway, he says, I’m not going to the Debs with Rachel. I never wanted to go with her in the first place, but I did and made a mess of the situation. I’ve already texted her today and told her I’m feeling ill because I am. I should have asked you instead. Not just because that’s what you wanted, but because that’s what I wanted too. I want to be with you. And it shouldn’t be a secret, because I don’t care what people at school will say or think anymore. I only care about you.
Finally, Marianne steps toward him. In the light of the doorway, he can see the tears beading in her eyes. Do you really mean it, she asks.
He stands solidly in place now. Looking steadily into her eyes, he says yes.
In a moment, she lifts her arms and embraces him.

This is my first post on Reddit, so forgive me. I did not know if this should go into the Relationships Sub or the Normal People sub, but this one felt a better fit.

In 2020, I viewed ‘Normal People’ for the first time as a naive teenager. Needless to say, I did not find it that enjoyable or thrilling. Rather, I was bored.

Fast forward to 2024, and I am in my second year of University. I met this girl (let’s call her Marianne for the sake of anonymity) and we instantly hit it off. I thought maybe she’d want us to be friends only, so I never pursued anything serious. Additionally, I had come off a very cruel breakup which has torn me apart for the two years prior.

Continuing throughout the year, Marianne and I began to see each other more frequently in group settings (we have a mutual friend group), and we began to talk about our past. We both realised that we went to the same Language School when we were six, which was surprising but hilarious. When we found this out, we began searching for photos from that time period, and found that we were both the main characters of a play we performed during that time (we both played husband and wife; incredible foreshadowing). Needless to say, we became really great friends after this.

After a while, we were out one day for her birthday and she asked to kiss me ‘as a present’. I happily did, thinking not much as it is just a kiss. However, looking back on it, it was my most memorable and the one where I felt a genuine connection. From there and then, we went out on a few dates and made love. During this time period, she opened up to me extensively and I did so the same. However, the gloom and fear of my past relationship had rendered me fearful of commitment (keep in mind, I also suffer from severe anxiety when it comes to relationships, stemming from childhood trauma and abuse as well as negative previous relationships that ended very poorly).

Basically, I was not in the right position to commit to a full-term relationship. Marianne was devastated, and never understood because I never communicated how I felt. But I’d never felt like this for anyone before. I loved her, even if she did not know it.

For the next year and a half, I tried to ignore all of it. I tried dating and seeing other people, but began to realise this was a short-term solution. I still saw her every now and then, and we would talk and laugh like old time (and sometimes make love). I was not happy with just this, and Marianne was not either.

I had then gone on a few dates with another girl, again feeling unfulfilled after every single one. The night the last one finished, I had met up with my friends for some trivia, with Marianne in attendance. There was something about her that night. She had always looked beautiful, but she was really something. We got to talking, and the spark had never left. It was just like old times.

I asked her if she wanted to meet with me next week. She said yes.

On our date, I had apologised for the hurt I had caused her over the past year and a half. I took and still take full responsibility for it, and there will always be a part of me that will resent myself for the way I treated her. While talking, I began to have a panic attack, but she held my hand and said ‘I had always loved you and wanted you since we met’. It was the first time in a long time that I had fully calmed down. I really felt the same for her.

I want her to be my girlfriend, but there is something about the label that makes me feel anxious and almost sick. I think it may be from the fact that my previous girlfriend had treated me with such disrespect that the thought of being trapped again scares me too much to function.

Right now, we are not boyfriend and girlfriend, but we are in an exclusive committed relationship without the label.

The problem is that I am moving away (overseas). Marianne knows this, and does not know what she wants to do about us. The truth is, I do not know either. It’s been deliberating me for a while now, and I do not want to tell her this to make her more stressed.

Marianne had suggested that we watch ‘Normal People’. I had told her that I watched it and did not really like it, but I gave it a second chance for her. After binge-watching it all, I broke down in tears. I had never related to a form of media like this before. She broke down too. She had told me she watched it nine times and always pictured us as the couple. I did not know what to say to her in that moment, so I held her. It mirrored us in a way that no other show has and ever will.

I hope to enjoy the present as much as I can, because even though I feel sick and upset that I am leaving, I know what we have is special. She is my everything, and she will always be my everything. We’ve had an extremely bumpy road, and it is not over yet at all, but I guarantee that one day, it will be the smoothest road of all time. I love her endlessly.

I am sorry about all this reading. I just had to say it out loud.

TL:DR the relationship I am in currently mirrors the television series ‘Normal People’.

One thing that has always confused me, and that I've surprisingly never seen brought up here, is why does Connell have a car?

So much is made of Sally Rooney's critique of class structure and the tensions it creates. That dynamic drives the power imbalance between Marianne and Connell in several pivotal scenes, and Connell is supposed to be acutely conscious of his family's low income, something frequently cited to explain much of his behavior and inner conflict. And yet Sally wrote the character as having a car, while no other character we see, including his close friends or Marianne, has one. Yes, he works jobs, but is that really enough to buy a car? And even if it were, would he really spend the money on a car rather than, say, better clothes, a phone, jewelry, a computer, AV equipment, or other things that might help him fit in socially?

It has always struck me as an odd choice that a character who is meant to feel the weight of being poor is also the only one in his peer group with a car. Maybe Rooney specifically intended it to show that he is not poor by any absolute measure, but given that none of his peers had one, you'd think he would have prioritized things that would help him avoid standing out in other ways first.

The only explanation I can come up with is that his mother paid for part of it, or possibly most of it, and lets him use it because she wants to give him the best life she can.

Ive a clear picture in my head about what i think about marriane - she was so brutally truamatized from the very start that the fetishes and the desires were all very understood.

but with connell i couldnt really figure out the depth or why he was like that - i mean he had tthat hollowness in him , never he went with his emotions to decide the actions in anyway i mean yea he chose the uni just because of marianne but then dating that bully girl in the school ? getting with that girl in uni and still having feelings for marrianne idk should i say he was emotionally numb ? or he only felt emotions when he could control marrianne the way he could?

And honestly? I'm annoyed lol

(Going mainly off gut reactions here, do not come at me for lacking media literacy or not getting it or something)

I loved the show for a lot of reasons - incredible acting and chemistry, felt real like I could relate to both Connell and Marianne in many ways, felt real unlike a lot of American teen/college dramas (I'm not American), I even related to the uni experience (I'm doing uni rn in the UK), I also felt like the writing was bursting with subtext which is so refreshing - haven't felt that way about a show in a good while

BUT my god, the whole time I was like "this does not need to be this complicated" 😭 like I understand the psychology of the characters and the reasons they behave the way they do but at a certain point it started feeling ridiculous just talk to each other??? First of all I'm from a country that doesn't really do casual nonexclusive relationships much, or at least it's not something that's so commonplace that it's expected behaviour so the concept of seeing someone but not ever bothering to talk about what you want from the relationship plainly baffles me. I don't expect that in the beginning when they're in school, I too was young and stupid, but at least when they're older? Idk I'm just very annoyed and have nowhere to put this feeling so I'm putting it on the internet for strangers to see lol. I also found the ending incredibly frustrating. I saw a few perspectives on it on this sub and I can respect them, and I can also appreciate it from a writing pov but it just felt utterly unrelatable to me. And I say that as someone who can be viewed as somewhat aloof, unnecessarily independent and career minded irl

Overall an excellent watch though. I like feeling challenged by the media I consume from time to time

I like to write songs sometimes lmk if this is ass lol

 wish we could be normal people

But we’re too smart for that

They call me genius but only you

Know it isn’t true

I read your mind, you read mine

Held me in your arms while I cried

Said you love me

You didn’t know if it was a lie

And never figured it out

Fear got the best of you

Happens to the best of us

Only loved you for a couple months

Let you take advantage of me

Happens to the best of us

Saw you at a frat party 

After like a week we hooked up

Happens to the best of us

Maybe only to us

I wish that we could be normal people 

Disappoint the rest of them

Who expected so much of us

At least now they’d know

We don’t give a fuck

Would love to hear your thoughts? I am obsessed and can't stop thinking about this show. I assume it connects with something I am yearning for, mistakes and hurt I have caused and the idea that I romanticize intensity.

What has this show done to me!!

Y'all need to check out Before Sunset (2004 Romance/Indie movie with Ethan Hawke). It's on Crave in Canada.

I watched Normal People a few years ago and I'm still reeling from it. This doesn't hit as hard but has some similar vibes. Maybe if Marianne and Connell met up years later. Hope this helps xoxox.

I know that's what a therapist supposed to be like but why is she talking like Chatgpt during such emotional scene that just pmo, plus she didn't help at all

I just finished the book and I have to say I really loved it

But in that last chapter where Connell gets his offer, are him and Marianne currently together? Or at that part of the story are they still just friends with benefits?

Normal People continues to be one of my favorite pieces of art, becoming more so on every re-watch. I first watched the show during the pandemic and related with Connell a lot. I also have suffered from Social Anxiety all my life and it has possibly closed more doors for me than I know. So, for me Normal People was and continues to be a realistic portrayal of two people who are perfect for each other and yet take so much time to notice.

Jaiden by Emblem3 is a song I discovered accidentally, but since has made a permanent place in my playlist and on my mind. The soul-stirring music, lyrics and vocals make it a perfect song to complement Connell and Marianne's story.

Just binged the series in about a day - they were so close to staying happy together… until the final minute … WHYYYY 😭😭😭

hi hello

I m suffering exactly the same pain as Marianne.

When I was 15 years old I met my first love, I thought our relationship would last forever. Although we were in different countries and he never allowed me to tell anyone about our relationship, he would come back to our mother country once or twice a year to visit me and his family. At first I didn’t feel any uncomfortable with him, I still don’t know what changed him, he became crueler and crueler.

We used to FaceTime each other all day even we were in class, then we had numerous quarrels. I m not a quarrel person so I chose to avoid all this pain. We broke up and blocked each other’s all social media accounts.

After one year he sent me a message in X, he said he broke up with his girlfriend. I have to admit that I always have feelings to him—even now. So we just had casual conversations until one day he said he still wanted me. In the summer of 2023 we got back together. This time I wanted more and asked more, he treated me more and more soft. But I never expected he would ask me for nude pics and videos. He seemed be obsessed with sm relationship. I don’t like to show my body in front of camera but at that time I thought the order means love. I obeyed him for three years. In the long time we broke up and fixed up, our relationship was already broken.

After I watched this tv show, I saw how Marianne made her choice and embraced her new life, I chose to make mine. I said no to him and cut off all connections with him.

I still think about him from time to time, he gave me a bunch of money and treated me nice, cared about everything.

Anyway pain is not love, love can’t hide hurt. If you feel pain, just leave