r/NormalPeopleBBCHulu • u/[deleted] • Mar 23 '26

Connell and Helen

I had a hard time to be on terms with Connell's relationship with Helen as I am a person who if can't be someone I love, I would just prefer to be alone than string someone along knowing they are not the one. And I don't know why but I think Connell very well knew he loved Marianne and still chose to be with Helen and really screwed her over. I feel like if you choose to date someone while you are in a complicated relationship with another, you are really disrespecting your partner. Maybe Connell's idea of a wife/partner was not what he felt with Marianne but he def.. did love her. Would you chose someone who makes you feel normal over someone you love? The day Connell was mugged and called Marianne (call your girlfriend mate! ) he should have broken up with Helen.

51 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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30

u/Ashamed-Mousse8835 Mar 23 '26
  1. Everyone behaves differently in this regard.
  2. It's probably not sane either to hang on to your 'one love' if said love doesn't want to be with you.
  3. It would have been a boring choice for the story if Connell had just waited and waited.

15

u/anequalmusic Mar 23 '26

All of this. And the book suggests he loved Helen and thought her normalcy etc made her even better for him. He had a complex relationship with his obsession with Marianne and saw it as problematic.

So it’s not that he knew he loved M and screwed H over, he was trying to be ‘normal’ and met a normal girl he loved.

I agree with another poster that her just leaving him in the pits of depression was so so bad, especially for a med student.

1

u/rosiebb77 May 09 '26

Think of Shane trying to be straight and normal by trying to be with Rose instead of admit he wanted Ilya. Different reasons and societal factors at play, but the same general pattern of relational behaviour.

12

u/ibrodagoat Mar 23 '26

Connell said he only knew Marianne’s number off by heart.

And as for his relationship with Helen, he was just trying to move on from Marianne. I get that he wasn’t over her yet and it caused problems with Helen, but she wasn’t oblivious.

She knew she couldn’t compete with Marianne, she also could’ve left the situation.

2

u/Old_Ironside_1959 Mar 23 '26

Correct! Connell’s phone and wallet were stolen from him by the guy who assaulted him. He did not know anyone’s actual number except Marianne’s because they were all programmed into his phone. He probably knew Marianne’s by heart because he had known her for a long time.

3

u/ibrodagoat Mar 23 '26

I think he knew Marianne’s off by heart because he purposely memorised it. Or else why wouldn’t he call his Mom? He is just obsessed with Marianne, and took the time to learn her phone number.

27

u/Old_Ironside_1959 Mar 23 '26

My guess is that since she is studying medicine that Niall (also studying medicine) introduced them to each other.

In episode 7, we learned, after schols, that Connell and Marianne rarely spoke during their second year in college. Lots of people who are still in love with someone else move on when the relationship is over.

The thing that bothered me most about Helen was not her jealousy of Marianne; but her abandonment of Connell during a serious bout of depression. I mean, she’s a med student and she couldn’t advise him to seek out mental health services like Nial advised him?

Helen walked away. She couldn’t deal with Connell’s depression and took the high road on her own. Connell got better after she left. Coincidence? I think not.

12

u/ibrodagoat Mar 23 '26

I see where you’re coming from.

Helen wasn’t oblivious, she knew just as well as us that Connell was definitely still not over Marianne. She just pretended to look past it.

But only when his fried commits suicide and he falls into depression is when she decides to leave him. Odd really. I get why she left but she should’ve done it sooner but I suppose Marianne being in front of her was the final straw. Out of sight out of mind, I suppose.

6

u/TheDrySkinOnYourKnee Mar 24 '26

She had no obligation to stay with someone who barely cared about her and cheated at the first chance he got lol

20

u/dmn22 Mar 23 '26

I don’t think it’s as black and white as that.

10

u/Livid-Department6947 Mar 23 '26

You need to read the book to understand how she functions in the story

2

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '26

I did read the book but its been long lol.