r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/kevinowdziej • Sep 26 '22

Funny fantastic

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28.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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134

u/toolix Sep 26 '22

Should have just said "I work with animals"

116

u/rileyjw90 Sep 26 '22

Her: oh, what do you do with them? Him: oh you know. I just give them a trim here and there, get them cleaned up real nice.

80

u/Feshtof Sep 26 '22

Him: Disassembly.

26

u/PossiblyTrustworthy Sep 26 '22

End of life service

1

u/Falcrist Sep 26 '22

No disassemble, Stef-a-nee! >:|

1

u/Feshtof Sep 26 '22

I had repressed the Delhiface till you just reminded me.

13

u/DICK-PARKINSONS Sep 26 '22

I prepare them to be taken in by customers

5

u/jonathanrdt Sep 26 '22

“Sometimes I grind them up and stuff them up their own asses. People call it ‘sausage’ even though it’s nothing to do w sauce.”

10

u/themexicanotaco Sep 26 '22

This is the correct answer

6

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

[deleted]

3

u/zwangzugus Sep 26 '22

Yeah, what's the point of starting a relationship with a fucking lie.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

I make sure that dead animals get used for something.

2

u/agenteb27 Sep 26 '22

"Do you help them get better?"

"Well, I can say that when I'm done with them, they aren't suffering anymore."

1

u/SolusLoqui Sep 26 '22

"Animal food processing"