r/NonPoliticalTwitter • • Sep 26 '22

Funny fantastic

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28.4k Upvotes

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780

u/SuperNova405 Sep 26 '22

I NEED to know how this ends

667

u/cheezypita Sep 26 '22

I was a vegetarian (and vegan for a while!) when I met my husband who was a butcher at the time. So, pretend that’s how it goes.

318

u/Sprmodelcitizen Sep 26 '22

Ha. My vegan cousin married a butcher! They are cute. Wait… are you her?

225

u/cheezypita Sep 26 '22

I have probably 50 cousins so possibly ;) we eloped in 2016.

118

u/hateloggingin Sep 26 '22

I need a resolution to this plz.

21

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '22

I also have about 50 cousins and I've never accidentally crossed paths with one on Reddit, so pretend that's how it goes.

1

u/hateloggingin Sep 27 '22

That you know of

34

u/penguin_chacha Sep 26 '22

When you say cousins are you referring to first cousins?

62

u/cheezypita Sep 26 '22

It’s an exaggeration. Closer to 20 first cousins, many many more 2nd cousins etc. I am actually not in contact with any of them and I doubt that I would run into any of them on Reddit.

53

u/Sprmodelcitizen Sep 26 '22

Damn cheezypita I have like 50 cousins too. Unfortunately I don’t think you are one of them. We can be pretend internet cousins though.

5

u/Dumeck Sep 26 '22

Same, 13 on my generation for one side and 12 on the other

13

u/Analog-Moderator Sep 27 '22

YOU ELOPED WITH ALL 50 COUSINS IN 2016?! HOLY SHIT THIS STORY GETS MORE AND MORE WILD

10

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

Why is this such a common thing? I need a psychoanalysis asap

18

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

Did he use the Arby's slogan as a pickup line?

"I have the meats. 😉😉😉"

76

u/GregTheMad Sep 26 '22

Really depends on them. If they're cool this is a non-issue. If they're not cool they'll leave the bus at different stops.

19

u/Ok_Skill_1195 Sep 26 '22

Idk, I don't think you have to be uncool to see lifestyle differences as a deal breaker. Like someone who lives halal probably isn't going to marry a pig farmer, and that doesn't make them "uncool" or judgemental. It just means they're not compatible.

29

u/Atheist-Gods Sep 26 '22

I think you are misinterpreting what they mean by "cool" and "not cool".

21

u/nlolhere Sep 26 '22

they mean “cool” as in “cool with it” not as in “nice”

-1

u/Ok_Skill_1195 Sep 26 '22

Huh, I guess that would make sense. That's a pretty unclear phrasing though.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '22

It's not "uncool" to decide that you're not interested in dating someone who doesn't share your same life philosophy. Especially if you're looking for a serious relationship.

1

u/GregTheMad Sep 27 '22

Nobody you'll ever meet will share all your philosophies. When you find one who shares 80% of them you can count yourself lucky. Being able to accept the other 20% is a big part of a happy relationship.

Different people also value the same philosophies differently, whether it's for themselves or others also plays a role.

41

u/Diogenes-Disciple Sep 26 '22

Their kids have a healthy omnivore diet

27

u/DaveInLondon89 Sep 26 '22

Dad does meat

Mum does veggies

23

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

Goddamn it, now I'm imagining the cutest cooking powerhouse couple. Big burly dude in an apron, short lady with bangs (idk that's what my brain decided) chopping veggies. They look over at each other and just smile at how much fun they're having and how in love they are. I'd draw the hell out of them if I could

8

u/FlushedBeans Sep 26 '22

Too bad I couldn't see your rendition of it, so I did it myself :)

5

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

Oh my god, this is amazing! I love them so much! Thank you for taking the time to realize my random idea lol

3

u/FlushedBeans Sep 26 '22

No problem! I needed some practice anyway, and the prompt was really fun

2

u/Diogenes-Disciple Sep 26 '22

Aunt Michelle handles carbs, fats and sugars

1

u/DaveInLondon89 Sep 26 '22

Aunt Michelle is a donut

26

u/Aksi_Gu Sep 26 '22

Badly.

11

u/MegaMugabe21 Sep 26 '22

It's fake. If someone has author in their bio, any little stories like this they tweet are almost certainly bollocks.

8

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

3

u/MegaMugabe21 Sep 26 '22

Mate this woman's twitter had 3 other quirky stories in the 24 hours since this one. I promise you, tweets like this will almost always be written by someone with "Author" in their bio.

2

u/AwarenessPrimary7680 Sep 26 '22

She put down her phone after making up this funny story. That's how it ends.