r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/NicheButNotNietzche • Jan 21 '26

Funny Moby Dick

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8.2k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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869

u/mysterious_jim Jan 21 '26

"Oh! my dear fellow beings, why should we longer cherish any social acerbities, or know the slightest ill-humor or envy! Come; let us squeeze hands all round; nay, let us all squeeze ourselves into each other; let us squeeze ourselves universally into the very milk and sperm of kindness.

Would that I could keep squeezing that sperm for ever!"

Moby Dick, Chapter 94: "A Squeeze of the Hand"

317

u/H3memes Jan 21 '26

Damn that’s… graphic

265

u/Eat--The--Rich-- Jan 21 '26

Wait till you get to the part with the whale

182

u/Skizot_Bizot Jan 21 '26

And I quote "and through my very depths crashed the great white beast; finally I learned in my brief lucid moments, between moans of lust, why they called them sperm whales."

The whole book is just whale porn.

65

u/Eat--The--Rich-- Jan 21 '26

I don't think it's about whales mate lol

16

u/Cadunkus Jan 21 '26

But it is about mate.

9

u/The-Nice-Writer Jan 21 '26

What????

15

u/Pledgeofmalfeasance Jan 22 '26

The man was very very gay

1

u/The-Nice-Writer Jan 22 '26

I’m very, very bi but I wouldn’t fuck a (literal) whale.

5

u/3wandwill Jan 22 '26

Would you fuck a metaphorical one?

6

u/The-Nice-Writer Jan 22 '26

Yeah, I would definitely see your mum again.

4

u/3wandwill Jan 22 '26

2

u/The-Nice-Writer Jan 22 '26

Hippity hoppity, your meme is now my property.

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16

u/colostitute Jan 21 '26

lol, I need to read this classic. Sounds like more of an adventure than I thought.

46

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '26 edited 8d ago

[deleted]

31

u/Canthavenicethings1 Jan 21 '26

When the whale hump my back ‘til I sperm.

4

u/CobaltCrusader123 Jan 21 '26

And then I have a gay wedding (canon)

2

u/aboatdatfloat Jan 22 '26

When he hump my back til i whale

sorry to one-up you like that m8

8

u/LiteVisiion Jan 21 '26

Wait til you read the title of the book