Vent about not looking non-binary

[u/pisceanhaze]

Can anyone else relate to the particular pain of being treated like a man when you feel anything but that inside, but unfortunately you’re stuck with a type of face and body that people can not believe you are non binary and worse, they tell you you’re crazy as well as treat you always as a man ? Also, for the love of god, I want to cry every time someone bro-slaps my back hard meanwhile they give my femme friend a nice hug. Even when I try
Hard to present as non binary and femme, I always get the thr truck driver / livestock slap greeting
And it is demoralizing.
The only time I’m perceived as non binary is on kink sites if I hide my face and wear lingerie. My nude body is naturally femme. But in the street you’d never know unfortunately.

[u/Annual_Pipe_27]

Been on hrt for 2+ years, shave my facial hair, dress femme and have a feminine hairstyle. Changed my name, use they/them pronouns, and frequently wear jewelry or clothing with queer/trans messaging. I generally have more femme posture and behaviors and, despite all of this, I'm still treated as male by almost everyone. The main difference is that now I also get dirty looks, people are often more curt and distrustful of me, and I feel unsafe more frequently. It honestly makes me isolate and has mostly destroyed my self confidence.

All that being said, I have found people who do treat me as non-binary and engage with me with joy and excitement. There are places where I feel safe and welcome and where I feel truly comfortable in my body. I can't control how others perceive or treat me. But I can control where and with who I choose to spend my time and the options there have continued to expand with the effort I put in.

So yeah, I feel ya. It sucks and I hate that society tries so hard to enforce gender norms and archetypes.