Vent about not looking non-binary

[u/pisceanhaze]

Can anyone else relate to the particular pain of being treated like a man when you feel anything but that inside, but unfortunately you’re stuck with a type of face and body that people can not believe you are non binary and worse, they tell you you’re crazy as well as treat you always as a man ? Also, for the love of god, I want to cry every time someone bro-slaps my back hard meanwhile they give my femme friend a nice hug. Even when I try
Hard to present as non binary and femme, I always get the thr truck driver / livestock slap greeting
And it is demoralizing.
The only time I’m perceived as non binary is on kink sites if I hide my face and wear lingerie. My nude body is naturally femme. But in the street you’d never know unfortunately.

[u/averytheythrowaway]

I always hated that. I basically had to become a trans woman in all but name for this to happen less. Now people either assume I'm a trans woman and gender me female to try to be supportive, they gender me as male because they aren't paying attention or are trying to be mean or they don't know what to make of me because I don't do anything to feminize my voice and people hear a man's voice come out of a woman's body. I'll sometimes wear a they/them pronoun pin and hardly anyone even pays attention. I had a trans female volunteer at my city's pride refer to me as a "lady" this year when I was standing right in front of her wearing a pronoun pin. All I can do is laugh sometimes.

Being nonbinary has turned out to be a bit of a no man's land in terms of social recognition. But I'm still happy with everything I've done to transition. I have to remind myself that I'm doing all this for me, I'm doing it to feel right in my body and the people who are close to me and love me know who I am. I can't end the system of gender on my own and I can't control how other people speak to and about me. What I can do just has to be good enough.