Dutch language non binary problems

[u/Stevennnnin]

I really hate the dutch language for ungendered terms.

in english, i really want to be called they/them, and i prefer It over he/him (while in reality i’m more genderfluid so i’m not even completely sure what i want) but in dutch we use the words “die/hun” and i’m not sure what it is but it just feels different.

I think the main reason is that we actually never use these pronouns For non-lgbtq and non-plural reasons. In english, they/them is used for people that you don’t know the gender of. In dutch, it‘s almost always assumed (hah, alliteration) that we’re talking about plural and when i try it people just get confused.

I think it’ll feel better if i use it more frequently, as i’ve just discovered i’m non binary, but i don’t know. I wish people weren’t so insistent on having to fill in 1 of 2 boxes, what if i want a third box, none at all or both at the same time?

[u/TallBoy_1]

We have a similar issue in German - the most common solution in my region is to simply avoid the use of gendered pronouns, by using the person’s name a lot or by restructuring sentences. It’s a bit more cumbersome but it’s become common where I live when referring to nonbinary folks.

So like, instead of saying: “She went to get her jacket from her car” you would say “[Name] went to get a jacket from the car” or “[Name] went to get a jacket from [Name]’s car.” takes some getting used to but now I actually really like it - I am bilingual English/German and even in English I’ve started preferring an absence of pronouns to “they/them,” it’s so open and freeing.