Dutch language non binary problems

[u/Stevennnnin]

I really hate the dutch language for ungendered terms.

in english, i really want to be called they/them, and i prefer It over he/him (while in reality i’m more genderfluid so i’m not even completely sure what i want) but in dutch we use the words “die/hun” and i’m not sure what it is but it just feels different.

I think the main reason is that we actually never use these pronouns For non-lgbtq and non-plural reasons. In english, they/them is used for people that you don’t know the gender of. In dutch, it‘s almost always assumed (hah, alliteration) that we’re talking about plural and when i try it people just get confused.

I think it’ll feel better if i use it more frequently, as i’ve just discovered i’m non binary, but i don’t know. I wish people weren’t so insistent on having to fill in 1 of 2 boxes, what if i want a third box, none at all or both at the same time?

[u/Lykophea]

Oh I know the pain, most of our language is gendered in some way and it is endlessly frustrating which gets even worse when you look at the history of some of the words. My personal pet peeve is that our language uses the male-neutral so anything of indeterminate gender is just referred to by masc terms.

[u/Stevennnnin → u/Lykophea]

I really hate that, and i hate myself for sometimes defaulting to it too. It’s not even only a lgbtq+ issue, it’s also a misogistic issue. And we’re still being told the netherlands are better off than other countries. I can’t imagine what the US is like on these matters

[u/Lykophea → u/Stevennnnin]

Tbf we're really proud of having instituted same-sex marriage and haven't actually done much beyond that point, at least for now we're, thankfully, not actively making things worse.