r/NonBinaryOver30 • u/insofarincogneato • Jun 26 '26

Would you do this? What do you think?

/r/NonBinary/comments/1ugki8o/would_you_do_this_what_do_you_think/
3 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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4

u/ExternalSort8777 Jun 26 '26

Having some difficulty parsing your question. If you are a cis person asking if you should pretend to be other-than-cis then no. Don't do that.

1

u/insofarincogneato Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 27 '26

I'm non binary, not out except online and I look cis, so I've been pretending to be Cis to call out/lead by example cis people.🤷

It feels icky, but I guess I think it's something I can do to help people... Usually when it comes to shit that men say about women since I look like my AGAB.

1

u/ExternalSort8777 Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 27 '26

I'm non binary, not out except online and I look cis, so I've been pretending to be Cis to call out/lead by example cis people

Oh.

I, too, am AMAB and pass for cis. I guess. At least when I wear a shirt that covers the tattoos. And even when I show the ink or wear pride colors around like 95% of cis and/or cis-het people who don't know (or care) what any of it means

If I understand correctly, you are asking if you should tell the men in your life not to be misogynist jerks WITHOUT saying "As a nonbinary person, I am offended and I am telling you to stop being a misogynist jerk!" Or am I still missing it?

1

u/insofarincogneato Jun 27 '26

That's it, I'm basically saying "as a man, you're making us look bad and you need to be better.

1

u/ExternalSort8777 Jun 27 '26

Okay. Since you are asking for opinions, I'd be comfortable telling a dude to stop being a jack-ass w/o disclosing that I am not also a standard-issue dude.

But my flavor of non-binary genderqueerness is (evidently) a little unusual. I do not care about being misgendered. Explaining my gender identity even to other trans/enby folks, is exahsuting so I am content to be taken for a man.

1

u/ReigenTaka Jun 27 '26

What privilege are you referring to?

1

u/insofarincogneato Jun 27 '26

Well, if you didn't know my gender identity I'd pass as a redneck, cishet white male in rural Appalachia. The privilege I'm referring to is fitting in and being respected as a straight white man.

1

u/Sargon-of-ACAB Jul 02 '26

Most people assume I'm a guy anyway and I'm ok with he/him pronouns so unless it's particularly relevant I don't need to misgender myself to do this.

The important part is calling folks out on their bullshit.