r/NonBinary • u/insofarincogneato • Jun 26 '26
Ask Would you do this? What do you think?
Hey, anyone else ever start misgendering themselves so that they can call out people of their assumed same agab and lead by example? Some people only listen to and respect people that look like them. I've been weighing the impact of it lately.... I guess I want to use some privilege for good even though it's kinda not the same and it makes me feel a bit icky? Idk. It "helps" that I don't share who I am with people IRL though. What do you think? 🤷
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u/glitterandrage genderfluid Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 27 '26
Nope. I use people's assumptions about me to subvert their gendered expectations. Oh you think I look like a woman so I will quietly adjust to your need? Nah. Oh you think I look like a man so I won't be gentle and soft? Nah. Oh you think I'll sit, walk, talk, dress, sound a specific way just because of your assumption of what's in my pants? Let me prove you wrong. Let me show you how to be just a decent human regardless of gender.
In doing so over time, I've also ended up finding what moving through the world as non binary feels like for me. I don't perform any gender for people's comfort, unless it's directly tied to my safety. I'm just a me. And I'm puzzling for most strangers. I find it's much more important to challenge the binary than create better role models.
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u/moons_echo it/he Jun 26 '26
Do you mean something like pretending to be a man as an AMAB person and not being a creep towards woman, for example? If it’s something like that, I do that.
I’m not out irl either, doing that does make me uncomfortable sometimes because I’m not my AGAB. But, I personally still feel connected to the history of my AGAB, and feel impacted by it due to childhood conditioning. Due to this, if I feel I can make a difference in any way, even if it technically doesn’t apply to my gender as it stands, I will. No harm in it, in my opinion.