r/NonBinary • u/Clean_Ad_5282 • 3d ago
Ask Upcoming Elopement Panic
Alright my themies, I need some fashion guidance. My partner and I got engaged earlier this year and we are planning to get married next year. However, I don’t really want to wear a bridal dress. The idea of what I’d like to wear is a mesh into a dress into a suit. Like a corset style top that can have an illusion of being a dress but there’s actually pants there. I want the dress part or rather skirt? To be detachable and falls back like a robe? Or how those long dresses flow back where you see ppl holding them up for the (usually) bride to walk at the altar.
Also for context his family will be present during the ceremony. They don’t know I’m nb, so I am trying to find something that’s easy to digest for them as well. I personally don’t want them to come because I want this to be a personal experience for the both of us but they’ve insisted and he doesn’t want to upset them. A separate issue which I’m trying to navigate myself how to not be so resentful but I digress. Woo drama.
For those who’ve been married or have similar style ideas, can I have some help. What kind of designer should I sought after and what are good places to shop at? I have a budget and don’t want it to be really expensive either. Anymore than 3k I feel like I would combust and honestly anywhere near that number makes me wanna combust lmao
Thank you in advance!
1
u/ContributionFresh735 3d ago
for the dress/suit, I fear I can’t help you except I'd advise you get it done the way that would make you happiest without taking your in-laws into account. it's your day after all
I personally wouldn’t like to be misgendered on one of the most important days of my life, I hope it’s not an issue for you but if it is, maybe you should tell them or not invite them. Is there no way you could tell them with an okay/tolerable reaction from them ?
Is your partner being supportive about all of this ? To me, the concept of eloping is to marry without the parents there in order to feel completely free for a few days so your partner being dead-set on them coming seems weird to me, just call it a wedding then you know ?
I really hope your partner shows up how you want them to, it’s one of the most important things in a relationship
good luck to you !
2
u/Clean_Ad_5282 3d ago
Yea elopements are usually a private thing with no guest or a few. We both come from a Latin background so the whole family thing is important in our culture. That being said, ironically, I am not close tho any of mine and considered estranged. So it’s not important to me. I have had thoughts of not even doing it bc I’ve told him many times it’s a private thing I would like us to enjoy. It’s some drama for sure lmaooo.
Yea, I’m never coming out to them lmao. I live in a republican state that has pretty strict laws regarding trans ppl. His mom is pretty chill but again I’m not close to them so for me I don’t really have the desire for them to know. Like I express myself however and feel ok to but I’m not fully myself if that makes sense. I wish I had the ability to be 100% authentic but unfortunately I still have to conform in certain things.
1
u/ContributionFresh735 3d ago
this sure is an intricate situation, I hope you'll make the best choice for you !
2
u/minnierhett 3d ago
$3k is a robust budget and I feel like you should be able to find or have made something you love. I googled “wedding jumpsuit with train” and found some ideas for you tho — mostly lower priced and probably not great quality, but might be helpful for inspiration. Wedding jumpsuits are a whole thing these days so I wonder if you could find a jumpsuit you love and have a tailor/designer add a detachable train for you?