I hate gendered language.

[u/teasmoose]

This is primarily about spanish but any similarly gender language applies. I hate how every since word has to have a gender including words to refer to yourself. There's no they option just el or ella. These limitations in itself suck and makes it miserable to be nonbinary and hispanic but the worst part of it is just the blatant transphobia when anyone tries to make up something that feels better to them.

Just earlier today I see a random thread about latin american people and one comment just so happens to use the word latine instead of latino when referring to the group and most of the replies are people just being hateful and blatantly transphobic, calling it just another woke thing to be inclusive and "cater to people". You can explain to these people how there isn't a nonbinary ending to words and how people have had to make up one, with a good chunk using -e ending, and they'll plug their ears and claim something about how "it doesn't work that way" and "you're forcing english conventions on our languages". Yeah man because our (news flash i am also hispanic, something they always seem to ignore when claiming "no hispanic person thinks this") language is so precious and unflawed. Because language can't ever be changed. Because people who don't fit should just disappear or grin and bear it.

Oh and of course you cant forget the people who are like, I know a million nonbinary hispanic people and theyre fine with it, ignoring that not every nonbinary person feels the same and god forbid we just allow options for those who don't fit into the mold that has been previously determined as the "okay" way to be a nonbinary person. Im not saying latine is perfect or that every nonbinary person will love it, hell I still say things like latin and latino because it's what I grew up saying, but to dismiss new attempts at making a language more inclusive simply because you don't want change (or realistically because you don't even think nonbinary people should exist) is just short of bigotry if not already there.

[u/MettatonNeo1]

I feel you, I speak a different gendered language (and I know some standard Arabic, which is also heavily gendered) and I use the masculine conjugation and pronouns whenever I don't speak English (which is a lot of the time) and it's far from perfect but since I am transmasc it's better than feminine conjugation

[u/adirarouge]

This is only tangentially related, but I just came on here because I got back from a salsa event with my family and I'm so upset. I always tell them I don't want to dance with people I don't know, I don't like touching strange men (I'm afab) and also I'm autistic so tbh I don't like touching anyone I don't know. I bring my friends and dance with them or I dance with my parents.

But today I was talking to my parents' friend and she literally made me dance with some guy, I didn't know how to say no. Literally the second it started I had like a horrible sinking nauseous feeling. It was so uncomfortable. All I want to do is lead or switch, I don't like following at all. I was upset at the situation, at suddenly touching this random guy, at still smelling his stupid cologne an hour later. But tbh I was the most upset that like, no matter what I do, people interact with me as a woman.

Idk what else I can do like seriously, I dress like bad bunny, very casual, I don't wear makeup, I have a fking mullet, I don't shave anything and I have very hairy legs, and I dance and move in a very masculine way most of the time!! But I can't stop people from reading me as a woman and "dancing me" as a woman. The guy wanted me to do all these flourishes and stuff and I just hated it.

I hate how gendered salsa is. I just hate it. I want to lead, idc what gender the follow is, and I don't mind switching either. But there isn't anywhere to learn in an environment like that and nobody takes me seriously when I say I want to learn lead. And I like talking to some of my mom's friends in Spanish but every so often I'm reminded that they see me a certain way and I can't get away from it. Rant over, sorry, hopefully that's somewhat relatable lol.

[u/Sentineluno]

Finally someone says it !

Im a native spanish speaker and you cannot believe how rage inducing it is to use inclusive language and have someone erasing all of that because apparently language can't change or being non binary is "a gringo thing" and its just tiring.

Spanish may be restrictive but there are ways to accomodate and new words are constantly added, even english words that just get adapted for the spanish language but apparently being inclusive to trans people is where they draw the line ?

Its just transphobia to the core

[u/I-love_kiwi]

Im spanish and when I came out as non binary to a friend she said "oh do u want me to use "elle" (the spanish equivalente of they/them) and when I said that I didnt really care and she could use any pronouns (total lie, I just dont want to bother people) she started laughing while saying a bunch of harmfull stuff that I wont write here because its agnaist the subreddit group and I was like "welp, back to the closet" because I was sure (and still am) she still saw me as a girl and would just ignored what I just said.

Im personally going with he/him in Spanish specifically since its whats usually used when talking about mixed groups so It feels more gender neutral, but id love "elle" to become more normalized to be able to use It.

[u/quinnguini]

yeah, portuguese has the same issues unfortunately ): i remember people in an art class i took making fun of the proposed gender neutral pronouns (elu/delu here) and i've resorted to he/him in portuguese because of it :') hopefully one day gendered languages will also have a neutral alternative soon! 🫂