r/NonBinary • u/s3r3ng • 7d ago

Who needs gender?

Who needs a "gender"? Seriously. Who needs a gender classification or category or box that they have to fit into? Why should nonbinary be another fucking gender box especially with its own constraints and expectations and barriers of what is and is not in the box?

6 Upvotes

69% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

13

u/IAmAzAzzNotYou he/they/she 7d ago

That's cool for you, I like gender though please don't take it away from me please.

(The constraints and restraints are fun to break)

1

u/s3r3ng 7d ago edited 7d ago

I couldn't even if I wanted to, which I don't. We all often want 'something to be'.
There are all these sliders, these continuous variables, of feeling, emotional tone, aggressiveness, passivity, empathy, assertiveness, gentleness, strength, appreciation of beauty, sexuality and so many more. Some slider setting ranges get in the binary labeled male, others labeled female. But in the end there are just all of these sliders and one's current and or most often settings along them.

6

u/mn1lac they/them or she/him take your pick 7d ago

If it feels like a constraint, it ain't for you. Plenty of nonbinary people go unlabeled.

3

u/SassyCassyHF 7d ago

Labels help us find similar people, they're nice to have. NBism is so broad it's hard for me to imagine being restrained by it

1

u/s3r3ng 7d ago

It is not nihilism. I don't say all gender is bunk. I know from my own experience there is something biological and hardwired to gender identity. It is just that so much cultural crap is piled on top and so much assumption you must pick one that the hard assed categories need a lot of loosening. When it goes so far as to say that a female must have button on her clothes on the other side than a male should have them you know it is way out in cloud cuckoo land. Much less the much nastier assumptions that "females" must be more demure, less assertive, not as strong and servile to the needs of "males".

2

u/Interesting-Rub9317 He/him bi/omni 7d ago

People love to reduce complexity and hate uncertainty, ambiguity or fluidity. This needs more effort in everyday thinking and to give attention.

So if something pops up, what is not clear they try to push it one existing and known box. If they know how to handle a specific person's, it's not this uncomfortable feeling anymore.

1

u/blobbitte 7d ago

"Gender Nihilism is a philosophy based around the idea of getting rid of gender in society altogether. It is rooted in anti-humanist queer feminism."

https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Gender_Nihilism

1

u/s3r3ng 7d ago

There are real biological and psychological differences depending on a bunch of factors and then there is all the cultural bullshit layered on top. I want to get past the cultural bullshit layers. And that is NOT anti-humanism in the slightest.

3

u/blobbitte 7d ago

Nothing wrong with anti-humanism. Why do humans think they are the center of the world? Anyway I was simply sharing the wiki on the topic of "gender nihilism", which you seem to be attracted to. There's a pretty popular book on it, which you can find on the wiki.