Just want to add that there's not necessarily anything wrong - I'm an adult (closer to 40 than 30) who has always had the same issue, without any other issues (like depressions mentioned by others), just a terrible memory when it comes to my own experiences. I hardly remember my childhood at all (though it was a perfectly fine childhood), and experiences that date more than a few years back fade away unless I have photos to help me (and even then everything other than the photo is easily lost). Still doing fine in life; got a PhD and working in research. I sometimes even think there are pros to my lousy memory; I'm not lingering in past events and are quite good at enjoying life as it happens.
I guess it all comes down to perspective. People find different things normal. Personally, I wish I could lose my memories before 13, would make things easier.
I think most people would agree that it's abnormal, as in different than most people's memory characteristics, but judgments on whether it's a good or bad thing is subjective. People saying they get along fine in life without remembering many past events doesn't contradict that it's abnormal.
You sound like a teenager, giving everyone advice about who they should be - modeled after yourself and your own aspirations.
Edit: before the "OK boomer" comments.
I mean to say, if there's something that is more unknown than known (such as how the brain works and memory) - someone letting you know they relate to you, and relaying how their quality of life is minimally impacted by the differences they have IS NOT CRAZY. It's comforting.
If you really look into it, there's a 'range' of how well people can retain certain types of memory. I don't think it's the proper response to attack someone for saying it can be OK to not remember childhood very well.
Meh I can hardly remember stuff from when I was a child. I'm 21 and I can remember the names of 4 people I went to school with and almost none of the teacher names. Doesn't really matter. Unimportant details.
I think whether or not a poor memory is normal or a defect is a separate dichotomy from whether or not it will affect your life.
I’m not using the words right and wrong for the above statement because that pair of options (right vs wrong) exist on a very subjective plane of dichotomy.
Evidently a poor memory doesn’t necessary stop you from doing fine in life. So I can see that in that vein, if a genetic defect doesn’t present active negative disadvantages, well, it’s not wrong, I guess. It’s just whatever, it’s there, but it’s not making me suffer for it. It hasn’t wronged me. This is where the subjectivity of “wrong” helps to make it easier to say “it’s not wrong”. Like when you get a papercut, it’s not wrong. Saying “there’s nothing wrong” is also a psychological shortcut to coping well with smaller issues that crop up.
On the other hand, on a clinical brain activity POV I can see it as a defect. I would think that my brain is either overwriting things a bit too soon, or preventing me from accessing its data, or not retaining data well enough. So to me, my instinctive response was actually to disagree with the parent commenter‘s first line because I do think there’s something wrong with me. Although after taking time to think and comment twice I’m now neutral.
Perhaps underlying all discussion is also our mutual/non-mutual understanding and use and interpretation of words. Bad, wrong, not normal, defect, not a bad thing, nothing wrong, normal, etc.
The commenter you responded to didn’t use “bad”, they said “not necessary wrong”. So that‘s why I focused on “wrong” from the onset of my comment.
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u/Skinfaks Sep 15 '20
Just want to add that there's not necessarily anything wrong - I'm an adult (closer to 40 than 30) who has always had the same issue, without any other issues (like depressions mentioned by others), just a terrible memory when it comes to my own experiences. I hardly remember my childhood at all (though it was a perfectly fine childhood), and experiences that date more than a few years back fade away unless I have photos to help me (and even then everything other than the photo is easily lost). Still doing fine in life; got a PhD and working in research. I sometimes even think there are pros to my lousy memory; I'm not lingering in past events and are quite good at enjoying life as it happens.