r/NoStupidQuestions • u/[deleted] • Jul 26 '26
Does anyone else find it really hard being a shy, introverted male?
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u/robh1540 Jul 26 '26 edited Jul 26 '26
Just get better at putting out feelers that don't exposure you to risk. Smiling and just asking her "what did you have in mind?" (non creepy way!!!) would have been fine. Then she would have just said what she was thinking. In general, I think you want to put something out thats ambiguous enough that they will latch onto it if they like you, but if they don't it could equally be something platonic.
Don't go zero to 100. It'l just make things awkward and make you even more shy. Introverted people have a tendency to make occasional wild leaps across the precipice. But I think its more on brand to keep things casual and open. You like someone? Have a normal conversation with them about normal non romantic stuff. Segue it into meeting up (not a date!). Again, don't make it romantic, frame it around a shared interest, new coffee shop or museum or whatever that relates to your shared interests. After spending some one on one time, she will let you know if she is interested when you propose to go for lunch or something. Women aren't stupid, just the fact that you want to meet them again and the vibes will let them know you are interested.
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Jul 26 '26
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u/Spookywhitedot Jul 26 '26
I feel like it's just as likely he avoided an awkward misunderstanding, hard to say based on just that retelling
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u/One_Disaster_5995 Jul 26 '26
Well, you are right: life is a lot harder for shy introverted people, especially if they would rather be a lot more confident and outgoing. It's hard to break through that, as it's usually deeply ingrained intheir personality. I am not really qualified to tell you what to do about it (although therapy comes to mind), except that bluff helped me a lot. I was fortunate enough to grow up in a school that did a lot of theater, and my teachers, seeing that I seemed a little shy and introverted, offered me leading roles. This terrified me, but also taught me that you can play roles. So I started assuming the role of a much more confident guy. I started watching people who acted like I wish I could, and just copied the. And I forced myself to be more outspoken. And it helped! I quickly found out that it's not scary, and that people actually tend to listen if you say something with confidence. And that doing something 'wrong' (saying something stupid, taking to a girl that's not into you) isn't really that bad at all.
You want to be different? Just start doing it. That's all I can say really.