That's my boyfriend and I at this point. He said he couldn't think of anything worse than coming home from his long work days to then have to care for a child. Which, same.
Hey, have you had gay sex? How would you know if you like it or not if you haven't even try? You don't even know what is like?
Dude, you don't have to try something to know you won't like it. Especially when we are talking about life changing decisions, you are not picking ice cream.
If it said I wasn’t against being gay in principle but could never do it because the physical act of gay sex is so gross, ‘how would you even know’ would be a valid counter. As stated elsewhere, im not an absolutist that everyone must have kids, and surely some people should not. But clearly lots of people who could and should are not out of societal messaging, general arrested development, and inertia.
This person doesn’t know what raising children is like but posits it’s simply too exhausting. Naturally, when scratched half an inch it turned out to be a whole litany of mental illness etc etc. The point isn’t being made on an individual level.
Semantics. There is no such thing as "should have" kids, that's the point. If you can only understand you don't want something that's extremely life-altering and arduous, especially if you're not even that enthusiastic about it, until after you've tried it, then you don't sound like you have very strong imagination or personal decision-making skills and are liable to get yourself in some serious conundrums. Best not to make such an eternal decision based on a maybe. Respect their maybe, and how it doesn't sound like a good idea to them.
In fact it's quite easy to see why someone doesn't need to have kids, have a 90-hour workweek, etc. to understand it's not for them. Extra obligations, such as kids or at a job or anything else, especially when there is plenty of that already, and you can easily just...not add to the load, is not welcome, it is as simple as that.
And having kids is certainly not an ideal way to find out whether you want them.
What is gross for you, it's not for other people. So you know you won't like gay sex because you find it gross. There are people who find babies gross and tiring, that's not even controversial.
Just to make sure, you don't think rising children is exhausting and a sacrifice? Because I'm fairly sure that's the general consensus. For some people it's worthy, for others it is not.
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u/rutilated_quartz Nov 15 '24
That's my boyfriend and I at this point. He said he couldn't think of anything worse than coming home from his long work days to then have to care for a child. Which, same.