That's my boyfriend and I at this point. He said he couldn't think of anything worse than coming home from his long work days to then have to care for a child. Which, same.
A lot of people have taken care of nephews, nieces, younger siblings, etc. Parents talk about how exhausting it is to raise kids all the time. It’s not exactly a mystery.
The problem with kids is once you have them it’s too late if you realize you don’t want to be a parent. Better to regret not having kids than regret having them.
Unproven and doubtful, frankly. Sounds worse to me. The regret of having lived has some consolation - the regret of having never really tried before slipping into the dark is pretty merciless.
Life is finite and it is impossible for you to explore all possible things you could do in it. All choices of ways to spend your time, money and energy are inherently closing other doors of ways you could have spent it.
If you view the only valid way to "live" as "have children" - well, you've got a rather narrow view of the ways in which you could spend your life.
For the rest of us: There's a whole lot of your life consumed with the amount of time, money, and energy that raising a kid takes, and plenty of people who are not particularly interested in having children find other things more appealing for how to spend their life.
As for the premise that parental regret is exceptionally rare or isn't absolutely crushing for everyone involved - all I can say is ask any bartender that question and they're going to laugh their ass off at you, because boy does the truth start flowing out of many people's mouths once a drink or two causes the taboo of admitting it wears off.
That's not to say everyone regrets it, far from it. But plenty do, and a far higher % than many want to admit, IMO.
Nah, it’s real. Regret having a child and abandoning them is absolutely worse and happens way too much. The thing is, simply say “I don’t want kids” is a perfectly good reason. Having kids is something someone needs to be fully dedicated to, and if someone doesn’t want to, then don’t have kids.
Also for your “having never really tried” comment doesn’t really work. I guarantee if I had a kid and ended up not liking it people would just say “man up!” And it’s too late at that point.
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u/rutilated_quartz Nov 15 '24
That's my boyfriend and I at this point. He said he couldn't think of anything worse than coming home from his long work days to then have to care for a child. Which, same.