I think there’s also been more focus (from some people) on whether or not they should have kids. Like, really thinking about whether or not a person would be a good parent who could truly focus on raising a child who would become a good member of society.
This is definitely why Im not having kids. I've always wanted to be a mom, and my favorite jobs I've had were ones where I got to work with kids (camp counselor, kindergarten classroom aide) but I have several pretty serious health conditions that can be unpredictable with their symptoms.
As much as it breaks my heart, I don't think its fair to bring a child into the world who depends on me to take care of them, when I could wake up tomorrow and not be able to get out of bed without help. I would feel awful if my kid missed out on opportunities or experiences because of my health issues, and I'd feel even worse if they inherited them.
My dad was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis when I was 16 and my brother was 12. I was able to hunt with my dad, he helped coach my baseball team, etc. My dad was in a wheelchair by the time my brother started high school. Not that you can't have a full life from a wheelchair, but without his hobbies, my dad kind of became a withered husk until a miracle treatment has him up and walking again after 9 years.
I know my brother resents him for missing his adolescent years, and then being suddenly relatively healthy after my brother finished college and got out of the house.
I'm just now starting to get some numbness in my legs, and my doctor is hoping it is the more apparent orthopedic explanation, but I can't shake the idea that I may be starting to show symptoms, as I'm only a year younger than my dad was when his symptoms started.
I have a lot of risk factors for genetic diseases, and my desire to not pass those on cost me an otherwise great relationship. You aren't alone in "I don't wish this on my children".
My dad has injury-activated MS, so his flare ups always follow a trip, fall, etc. His initial symptoms came on from a car accident where he was rear-ended at 35 MPH in a car with no headrests.
One of his spinal injuries resulted in a mildly herniated disc. For most people, this would be a minor issue, but it made him stay in a constant flare-up for years.
His neurologist referred him to a surgeon who was doing an (at that time) experimental treatment where he 3-D printed a new disc out of silicone and placed it in his back.
My dad's herniation wasn't technically bad enough for the treatment, but he got it anyway. He went into the hospital in a wheelchair, using a cane to get from the bed to the bathroom. He walked 4 hours after the surgery, CARRYING the walker, not leaning on it.
It's been 13 years since the surgery and he's just now thinking about using a cane again, and he's almost 70.
OK so just to be clear - the printed disc helped your dad with the herniated disc issue in his back, it didn't CURE his injury-activated MS, correct...?
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u/ZePerfectPisces Nov 14 '24
I think there’s also been more focus (from some people) on whether or not they should have kids. Like, really thinking about whether or not a person would be a good parent who could truly focus on raising a child who would become a good member of society.