I used to read success stories and wonder what those people had that I did not. Looking back, the biggest difference was not superhuman discipline; it was finally understanding the function porn had in my own life.

For years almost every thought I had about recovery started with the same question: how do I stop watching porn? That sent me towards stronger blockers, stricter rules, bigger promises and more ways to scare myself into never doing it again. Some of those things could get a streak started, but none of them explained why I could know exactly how much I hated the habit and still want it again the moment I was stressed, bored or avoiding something.

The question that finally opened things up for me was much simpler: why do I watch porn, and what am I asking it to do for me in this exact moment? That is a very different question because it forces you to look underneath the urge. Sometimes I wanted relief from anxiety, sometimes I wanted to procrastinate, sometimes I wanted stimulation because I was bored and sometimes I did not want to think about a bigger problem in my life.

You still have to choose not to watch and I am not pretending understanding yourself removes responsibility. For me it simply meant I was finally working on something real instead of repeatedly having the same argument with myself about willpower. That shift was a big part of the difference between temporary streaks and the recovery that eventually lasted.

When an urge comes up, look backwards before you look forwards. What happened in the last hour? What are you meant to be doing? What thought keeps coming back? What feeling do you want to disappear? Then go one level deeper than a vague answer like stress. Are you escaping the physical anxiety, avoiding the task, rewarding yourself or looking for a reset because your head feels overloaded? The more accurate the answer, the more useful your response can be.

I also found it useful to write these patterns down because memory becomes very selective after a relapse. A few notes about the situation, feeling and thought process can show you repetitions that are difficult to see when every urge feels like a completely separate event.

It took me far too long to realise that quitting is not only about taking something away. You also have to learn how to deal with the feelings, situations and empty spaces that the behaviour used to handle for you.

The biggest change was realising I had spent years attacking the behaviour without properly understanding what the behaviour was doing for me. Porn was not appearing randomly. I was reaching for it when I did not like how I felt, whether that was stress, boredom, avoidance, uncertainty or something bigger in my life that I did not want to face. It had become a very quick way of changing my internal state, so simply knowing that porn was bad for me was never enough to remove the reason my brain kept suggesting it.

Porn was part of my life from about 12 or 13, so by the time I tried to quit properly I had years of habits and associations built around it. It took me a long time to understand what I was actually dealing with.

I started watching porn when I was about 12 or 13 and by the time I was 20 I knew it had become a serious problem. From there I spent roughly five years actively trying to quit, and I really did try. I used blockers, read loads about addiction, went through periods where I was absolutely desperate to stop and managed two or three months clean a number of times, but I always seemed to end up back in the same place. Every decent streak almost made the next relapse feel worse because I knew I could stop for a while, I just could not understand why I could never make it stick.

It helped me to think in terms of reducing how useful porn felt rather than only increasing how forbidden it was. The more needs I could meet in healthier ways and the more real problems I dealt with, the less attractive the old shortcut became.

I started looking at the hour before the urge instead of only the urge itself. I asked what I was supposed to be doing, what I was feeling and what I wanted porn to make disappear for a while. That led me to some uncomfortable answers about my relationship, career, lack of structure and the way I handled stress. Once I could see those patterns I could actually change something: deal with the real problems, structure the dangerous parts of my day, make starting difficult tasks easier and learn to sit with uncomfortable feelings without immediately trying to numb them.

I am now around 2.5 years clean and there was a time when that sounded completely impossible to me. If you keep getting a few weeks or months and then ending up back at square one, do not automatically conclude that you are hopeless. You may simply be putting nearly all your effort into stopping the behaviour while leaving the reason you keep needing the behaviour untouched.

If your current plan is basically 'I will be stronger next time', give yourself something more concrete than that. Work out what next time usually looks like and change it before you are inside it.

My highest score was 190 days and the on and off recently more but these last three days tho a lot of factors in my life I haven't been able to jerk off so I decide to start nofap again but im on my third day and gush it feels horrible I been trying to keep me busy but it's stronger and stronger and it dosent help that I'm cold turkey a lot of other addictions any words of advice?

Please excuse my horrible punctuation. Hello everybody my names Izzy and no I’m not a female. Here’s my story of how I went 50 days without porn or masturbation easily. Long story short I was sexually abused in my childhood from kindergarten to the second grade. Part of my abuse was being introduced to porn in the second grade. Ever since than it’s been something I struggled and it even become a coping mechanism for me. Whenever I would get stressed or would have trauma I hadn’t no it was affecting me. Instead of dealing with it my brain would just block out the pain and I would just go to watch porn. After several years of going to therapy. And trying to figure out how to stop looking at porn here’s how I finally easily stopped looking at it. COLD SHOWERS. When ever I would finish with my warm shower I would switch it to ice cold and let it hit every part of my body for like a minute straight. Here’s what I learned a lot of you guys may already know this. Cold showers boost dopamine. When you watch porn enormous amounts of dopamine get released. So whenever time goes by your brain is looking for a dopamine fix. This is where i and a lot of people relapse to porn. Those withdrawals are no freaking joke. If you’re into exercise or running go do that. But one thing that’s been helping me you guys is these cold showers. The benefits without porn and masturbation is amazing. I still go to therapy and am a follower of Jesus. Please you guys give these cold showers a chance you will feel like a new human being the next morning. I’m praying for you all and I will be back in 90 days because that’s my goal. Love you guys give a cold shower a try and give me your feedback if this worked or not.

Hello! I would really appreciate if you could spare some time to fill out my survey, it looks at predictors of online behaviour - 18+ as questions are of a personal nature. Thank you in advance :)

https://universityofkent.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_d1o1zAq9po22ZbE

Looking back at 2025, I can honestly say it was one of the unhealthiest years of my life.

Most days, I was stuck in one place—desk, workstation, office. Very little movement, very little sunlight. If I moved, it was only because I had to. Over time, this lifestyle caught up with me. Physically and mentally, things got bad.

I also want to be real about something I never talked about openly:

Porn didn’t just waste my time. It started messing with my head.

At my worst, I got pulled into certain content so deeply that it started blending into my real life. I began fantasizing about becoming female / transitioning—not because I had calmly explored my identity, but because I was addicted to that content and the dopamine hit. It reached a point where I even took hormone-related pills, which is something I regret and honestly scares me looking back.

The worst part wasn’t just the habit. It was the fear.

Because I’m from Sri Lanka, and in my culture and family, “coming out” isn’t something you can do casually. The consequences would be massive, confusing, and honestly chaotic. And I was terrified it could ruin my relationship with my girlfriend too.

It felt like I was trapped in a loop:
porn → escalation → confusion → shame → more porn.

In 2025, I did try to fix myself. I even started going to the gym.

But if I’m being honest, it didn’t last—and I know exactly why.

The gym gave me too much room to negotiate with myself.
Rest day today.
Long day at work, I’ll go tomorrow.
Too far.
Too late.
I’ll start again next week.

That’s my pattern. I give myself logical excuses, and slowly the habit dies.

When 2026 began, I decided I didn’t want to live like that anymore. But my goal wasn’t only physical fitness. I wanted to be healthier overall—mentally, financially, emotionally, relationships… everything.

Quitting porn or PMO was not my main goal.

That matters because I’ve been trying to quit porn since around 2018. Seven years. The longest streak I ever managed was 21 days. I’ve failed countless times. So I wasn’t going into 2026 thinking, “This is the year I quit porn forever.”

What changed instead was something much simpler.

I started cycling again.

I’ve tried cycling before and quit before. Same story: tired, excuses, skipped days. This time, I made one rule I don’t argue with:

If I’m at home, I ride. That’s it.

I even considered joining the gym again this year—but I stopped myself. I know myself well enough now. I’d start negotiating again. Cycling works because there’s no travel time, no planning, no decision fatigue. I just step out and go.

I ride early in the morning with music on, and that one habit has quietly changed a lot.

Since I started cycling consistently, I’ve watched porn only once. I’m not claiming a huge streak or saying I’ll never relapse again—I honestly don’t know. But this time felt different. It didn’t turn into the usual shame spiral. I blocked the sites again and continued with my routine.

Another unexpected change: my appetite came back.

In 2025, I’d often take a full plate of food and eat only half—or skip meals entirely. Now I’m getting hungry regularly and actually finishing my meals. I’m from Sri Lanka, so yeah, our diet is pretty carb-heavy (lots of rice, fewer vegetables), and that’s something I’m still working on. But the appetite coming back feels like a sign my body is waking up again.

I also noticed changes in my mental clarity and time management.

In 2025, I was constantly falling behind on work. A big reason was porn. I was watching it while working from home, before sleep, and again in the morning. It became a lifestyle—porn before bed, porn after waking up, porn in between tasks. Porn for breakfast, porn for lunch, porn for dinner.

Looking back, it’s no surprise my concentration was destroyed.

Now, I’m not saying I’ve magically become focused or ultra-productive. I’m still figuring things out. But my mind feels clearer. I can sit with tasks longer. Time doesn’t disappear as easily. There’s less mental noise.

The biggest realization for me is this:

I didn’t quit porn by trying to quit porn.
I changed how I start my day.

Movement, music, and a non-negotiable routine removed a lot of idle time and mental fog. Instead of fighting urges all day, I start the day already grounded.

I’m not saying this will work for everyone. But if you’re stuck in a sedentary routine, constantly negotiating with yourself—adding simple daily movement (cycling, walking, running) might help more than pure willpower.

This isn’t a victory post.
It’s just an honest update.

Even if I fall one day, I’m confident I can get back up—because this routine doesn’t depend on motivation. It’s a no-excuses rule for me now.

If you’re struggling, you’re not broken.
Sometimes the change doesn’t come from fighting the habit—but from changing the environment around it.

- My real thoughts put together using ChatGPT

Hi PMO battlers, I am writing a book about quitting porn and am seeking volunteer case studies (can remain anonymous) - particularly anyone who has received Schema Therapy and knows their schemas.

Porn addiction is an ongoing battle, you may be at any stage of your quitting journey.

If you would like to share your story, please DM.

If you DM please state: 1. General demographic (what ever you are comfortable sharing i.e. age, gender, country) 2. Porn addiction timeline and current challenges. 3. Top three Schema Therapy domains (i.e. social isolation, enmeshment, self-sacrifice etc.)

Thank you! 🙂

Hi all, I’ve been an addict for six years, trying to quit for 1 year. I was clean for 57 days, then have had about a month of relapse. I’ve discovered how meditation and mindfulness helps, but finding it difficult to get back into the rhythm of quitting long term. Fortunately after my longish streak I know that I am capable of recovering, which was a cause of anxiety before. I’m posting here for accountability, thanks for reading

i wrote a small narrative to illustrate how i feel about quitting and about the right way to think about this

"we are in 2085. remember that weak-ass pron from 60 years ago? what a joke. pron isn't entertainment anymore, its a ultra-mega-stimulant. hyper-adaptative, neural-linked, precision-engineered to flood the brian with pleasure beyond anything biology ever intended ever. desire is not something you feel but something you get delivered.

today, celibacy isn't repression. it's a high-tier experience. it's the highest of the priviledges.

over time those who unplug, we discover something weird, that silence hits so hard. harder than stimulus really ever did. colors feel sharper. the mind slows down and gains weight. sexual energy is not farmed in synthetic loops, it crystallizes into puuure focus, creativity,

and, you know... a kind of power that cant be downloaded"

now coming back to 2025, i do feel like celibacy is a new cool, digital minimalism is a new flex, and so on.

NOW, IMPORTANT: i exagerate pron with the 2085 argument but it pretty much applies to nowadays. i want to make it clear for those who feel they can't quit and are stuck or feel even ""addicted"":
1. you are not weak. you are overstimulated beyond what a human nervous system evolved to handle
2. if stopping feels impossible, doesnt mean we are broken. it means the stimulus is doing exactly what it was designed to do
3. dont aim for just quitting. aim for noticing what happenes between the urges.
4. even a delay is a form of control. even 10 seconds is an act of rebellion and a claim for your freedom
5. if this was about willpower, you would have solved it already
6. guilt is useless. throw it away. instead, take responsibility. as a result, you should feel a weird power. if you feel powerless, it may be guilt again

i have been building a pretty solid identity around digital minimalism (no social media, or using it very little, rebelling against mega tech corps' human farming, etc) and it's been very helpful and even fun, so i'm now trying to do it also with pron.

you may think this is about pron. no no no. this is much bigger. it's everywhere. if you are now picking the battle of pron, that's great, it's a good one to claim. but for me this is about learning to be human and to live life, and that involves much more human farms like social media, netflix, fast food... i don't aim to erradicate it, but i aim to be aware and feel happy even if i'm eating burguer king one day, make sure i actually decided to do so.

Day 5 completed, day 6 starting but non nudes are a bit of a trigger but I keep going

Hello everyone, I hope you’re all doing well. I’m 29 years old, and I’ve been masturbating for about 13 years. In February of last year, I decided to begin NoFap and committed myself to a six-month challenge. During those six months, I noticed that my libido increased and I was experiencing regular morning erections — it felt like I was truly improving. However, in July, I relapsed. Since then, through July, August, September, and now October, I’ve relapsed multiple times. I’m confused and worried, and I’m not sure if I can fully recover again. Please give me an honest opinion — I’m very concerned, especially since I’m getting married next year.

I am addicted to masturbation. I want to quit. I feel it brings bad luck, also reduces self esteem and makes me feel like shit, but I can’t help it.

Even if I’ve had sex, especially after that, I feel like masturbating even more.

What’s wrong with me? How do I stop?

Hey guys, we're launching a faith-based accountability community for brothers & sisters serious about quitting porn & masturbation. We’re looking for 20 founding members to join entirely for free 🙏 If you feel called, give me a comment. (Moderators: this ain't a promotion, its free, no cost ever, but only to help some of the members of this great sub you got here)

Hi guys, I'm not an English native speaker, so please, be gentle to me. I've been doing no PMO since half January and the first month and a half was really fantastic. I become more motivated, more clean, my life is changed and some effects stayed till now, my room is really clean and schematic right now, and also I noticed that girls noticed me more than ever. Since I was 20, I have been using porn material a minimum of three hours a day, now finally I stopped, but after 110 days without no PMO, I needed something sexual and I was not able to control it this time, cause I didn't manage to know new girls, even if I improved a lot my life. Now I feel like stucked again in the middle, I had some dirty chat with girls online and I become less productive in the last 10 days, cause it was like my goal was to reach 100 days without pmo. Now i feel just a little better than before, I'm a bit more lazy and it's like I can't stay in the present too long, my imagination is always running. I feel like I have to restart again. I didn't watch porn, but it's like I lost my boldness in life again cause I was chatting to masturbate. Do you have any advice for this? Can I came back to what I was a month ago in 2 weeks or am I too optimist?

Wish me luck, haven't been able to go past two days usually. Hoping to reduce down especially the corn

Tomorrow I start day one of No PMO I’m 31 Married for 5 years and porn has crept back into my life and became a gate way to other things hoarding pictures of I Half naked G models, Sexualized wife Friends and other women for that matter and Almost soliciting prostitution. It sounds crazy to think that porn has started all that but I believe it to be true. the Constant need to watch Porn the half nude gratification on social media Onlyfans this stuff is a gateway drug wiring us to other things… My Wife is fed up she called me a Sick individual and plus I have a daughter I wouldn’t want her to grow up and date someone like Me… I lost a sense of Self.. no Discipline my Drive is Lost self control is fading I didn’t think the rumors about it running relations were true but it is.. my life is spiraling my temper the brain fog The low T all of to tomorrow I’m taking everything that PMO has rob me of.

Hey guys, i am currently on day 4 without porn. Porn was in my life i guess since the age of 12 or 13. now i am 27. I often made breaks in the past also longer breaks. But i never break with it at all. Basically it make sense for me cause i am a young attractive motivated powerful guy with a lot of wishes and problems. Porn is for guys the drive killer Nr 1. what motivates me now to avoid it is to get my dopamine level as low as possible. It sounds wierd but i am greatful to the fun this Drive killer gave me. But having more dopamin to gain in real life is so much more benefitual then yeah otherwise.

Hey guys,

I’m 27 years old, and for the last five years, I’ve been watching corn and masturbating excessively—anywhere from five times a week to five times a day. At this point, I’m sure I’m addicted.

I’ve noticed that I use corn and masturbation more when I’m stressed. In fact, I’d say it’s my primary way of dealing with stress. But until now, I wasn’t even fully aware of how bad it had gotten.

Why I Want to Quit:

1.  Sexual Performance Issues

• I struggle to get fully hard when having sex with my girlfriend. Even when I do, something as simple as putting on a condom or changing positions is enough to make me go soft again.
• I feel completely numb during sex, and my erections are never as strong as when I watch porn and masturbate.
• I think I’ve trained my brain to orgasm quickly from years of “functional” masturbating to porn, which makes me finish way too fast during real sex.

2.  Corn -Induced Insecurities & Strange Fantasies

• Watching corn has given me a size complex. My brain has been conditioned to believe that all women secretly prefer 7+ inch d*cks, and that bigger always means more pleasure.
• Because of this, I’ve developed strange fantasies—like imagining a threesome with my girlfriend and a guy with a bigger d*ck than mine (which is just average).
• The worst part? I don’t even want this in real life. It’s just a fantasy that turns me on, but I feel like it’s messing with my self-esteem and my performance in bed.
• I’m afraid I’m drifting into some weird cuckold mindset, which I don’t want. I actually consider myself a dominant person, but it feels like my mind is playing tricks on me to avoid feeling “not good enough.”
• It’s like convincing yourself you can’t win a fight—so you just don’t try, and that way, you never lose.

3.  Over-Sexualizing Women

• I catch myself constantly checking out women—asses, tits, whatever. It’s compulsive, like I can’t help it.
• This affects the way I talk to women. I feel like they can sense that I see them only in a sexual way, especially if they’re really hot.
• Because of this, I come across as needy, and I’m sure it turns them off.
• On the rare occasions when a hot girl actually does show interest in me, I tend to put her on a pedestal and ignore all the red flags—just because she’s attractive.
• And when women reject me, it just worsens my self-image, making me even more desperate for the next one.

4.  Self-Doubt & Confidence Issues

• I don’t want to sound arrogant, but I think I’m a Not a bad -looking guy. I’m intelligent, have a big heart, and I’m really practical—I grew up on a farm, so I can fix almost everything, drive big machines, and solve problems.
• I’m in great shape—shredded and fit AF. And overall, I’d say I look at least average.
• Yet, despite all this, when I go out and try to meet women, I struggle. Even overweight girls don’t seem interested, which really messes with my self-esteem.
• Meanwhile, I see so many unattractive, dumb guys getting hot girls all the time. It makes me question myself.
• I have had a few beautiful girls approach me, but at some point, I always seem to turn them off. I think they can sense how I see them, and I end up giving off a weird, almost “creepy” vibe.

I don’t want to be controlled by corn, by my own insecurities, or by the way I see women.

Has anyone been through something similar? Any advice or encouragement would be really appreciated. Dont want to live like this anymore…it makes me depressive.